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How to Heal Your Inner Child?

Engelta loves to talk and study in depth the self-esteem issues, as well as how to improve and cherish relationships.

Healing your inner child means that you have to heal the traumas that you got from your family or outsiders during your childhood years. Healing your inner child means dealing with negative situations that have done real damage to your soul, heart and personality.

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What is Inner Child? Who is?

Inner child refers to the child that you used to be, the child that is still in you. Whenever you feel like playing, having fun, ditching daily tasks, going against the current, being adventurous, trying something new, etc., that’s the child in you. A child is curios, light-hearted, sometimes naïve and he or she just wants to enjoy the world. When we say “inner child” we mean exactly that, the part of your that is childish and that is often dominated by your ”adult self” in order to deal with your everyday life.

You may think that people grow and there is no child left in anyone, because life pushes us to become adults and deal with as many tasks as we can, so much that we forget how it is to have real fun. The truth is that the child never leaves, neither does the teenager in you, or the adult. They are all part of you and they play their own role in your everyday life, not just only how you go about your life, but also they make part of your personality, desires, spirit, heart and emotions.

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How do you know your Inner Child is hurting?

You can start by thinking mindfully how you approach your daily life. Is there anything that causes you distress, or anxiety dealing with? For example, are you the type to always be late for work and procrastinate the whole time, or the type that has plenty of ideas but never seems to go through with them, or the type that doesn’t want debate and confrontation, etc. If there is anything that even slightly blocks you from achieving something, when you see others not being in the same fear zone as you, then you may have a hurt inner child. This is not always the case, you can have trauma and hurt that you got much later in life, but if some of the ways you act now, haven’t changed or grown a bit, in a long long time, starting probably from your teenage years, then it is for certain a need of healing your inner child.

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How do you heal your Inner Child?

Healing your inner child is not an easy work and sometimes it may require a lot to go through your own traumas. You can go through this process with a professional, or on your own. If you feel like you need someone’s else help to guide you and be there for you and especially if you can’t share with friends, or family, then you should probably talk with a professional.

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However, if you want to, you can start with little steps and see how it works for you.

Healing your inner child will start with figuring out where you see blocks in your behaviour, or your mindset. You should especially focus at first, on those moments or behaviour that doesn’t seem to make sense. For example, you are scared to tell your parents something, but you’re not a child anymore. Or you know you are right, but you take a step back and don’t debate with people. Or you know you are an adult, fully capable of taking care of yourself, but you always need someone’s opinion. Or you don’t want to travel abroad for fear that you will leave people behind and they will be alone without you, even if they are 2 or more that live together and/or have their own lives. These are all signs of hurt that has turned into trauma which is deep seated in you and you can’t make moves as easily as anyone else.

You start healing your inner child by figuring out these little moments, that may seem embarrassing, but still blockages and then you should try to remember and bring up memories of your childhood, when and where you think these blockages came from. At least, you should allow memories to flow, so you can see when you have also felt the same way approaching a situation. Even though it may hurt or you may not know where to start, you should start from the very last memory that comes to your mind, or you can start by asking yourself how was my childhood, thinking about your childhood years and some memories are bound to come to your mind so you can start there.

When you get your memories flowing, you should grab at that time, one at a time, starting from the latest, to the earliest. Don’t over-exhaust yourself trying to remember as much as you can. The trick is to get at least 3 memories in different periods of time for a certain issue and work on that. You ask yourself question, why would I feel like that, what am I afraid could happen, what’s the worse it can get at? The third memory should be one from as early as you can get, or at least, the one that has the most impact.

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You can read more on inner child healing on a more spiritual aspect, the practice known as "Shadow Work".

Once you are there, you can see what actually happened and now that you are an adult, you can see how adults around you acted and also how other children acted. Most of the times are the adults that hurt us, even if the children started it, because children are naïve, while we expect adults to be adults, mature, responsible, to give solutions, to help, to protect. It can also be a person that you trusted and loved a lot, outside of family that raised you, who may have betrayed you or even a person whose lost traumatized you. It can be lots of people, or only one, but the truth is, is not about people, is the energy that was created that clashed with your own and left you traumatized, without offering you a safe place to grow and express yourself.

So, when you approach the memory and you understand your inner child emotions and relieve them, because it is really you and you see other people or the situation that hurt you, you can start healing through understanding their motives. The biggest thing you’ll learn in life, is to heal yourself without an apology and to accept that people are just for themselves, sometimes they do the best they can, or the worst, but it is never pointed at you personally.

© 2022 Ensorcelie

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