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How to Get Your Sex-Appeal Back and Feel As Vibrant As You Did in Your Prime

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Yves mission is to help women feel empowered physically, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually.

Let’s face it, we are all sexual beings. Ask any doctor. It is a plain and simple fact. Since there is no denying it, we may as well give our sensuality its fair due. If you find you have been wearing the practical flat shoes and the bulky gray sweater way too often, it is time to make some changes. Your comfy shoes and no-make-up days have their place, but so do your high heels and long dark lashes. So....you had best think twice about why you have subconsciously given your high heels the boot, so to speak.

Right now, is the time to achieve some balance in your life---and that means letting your sensuality have some say.... I can hear it screaming to you now, “Let me out, woman!" "I want to be heard and I'm not taking 'No' for an answer!” Well then. Alright.... guess that means it is time to get ready to push your personal boundaries a bit. A few subtle changes here and there will make all the difference. So, let's get ready---you are about to feel like a desirable woman once again!

Former Big Beautiful model, Crystal Renn. As you can see, sexy comes in all sizes.

Former Big Beautiful model, Crystal Renn. As you can see, sexy comes in all sizes.

Your Time is Now

For you ladies who say you will get your "sexy" back once you lose 20 lbs., or once you save up for the Botox, or once you sign up for the gym membership, or once you clean out your attic, or once you get the car fixed, or once you do this and after you do that… you are surely making excuses. It is time to get moving and make some changes so that you can begin to feel beautiful and sexy once again.

Life will always give you something else to do, besides getting your sexy back. You know, deep down, you are choosing to procrastinate even though, and quite possibly because you are feeling "blah" and basically as far from sexy as any woman can be.

That sensual "spark" you once had just isn't there anymore. Somewhere along the line, it simply vanished. You chalk it up to having too much on your plate. Yet the truth is that you are just being lazy about taking care of yourself---under the guise of altruism and what-have-you. Do not buy into that lie! Your life, your happiness, and your sensuality matter just as much as anyone or anything else on this planet---so stop your whining and start doing what you must do to get your sensual sparkle back. The time is now. No more excuses. Jump into your happy future!

80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty.

— Dove Research

Get the Sway Back in Your Hips

Imagine the leaves of a palm tree swaying gently in the breeze. That is the "sway" you're aiming for when you begin working those pretty hips of yours. So, how to begin? First, you have got to dig your old heels out of the back of the closet. Okay, now put them on your feet. In the privacy of your home, start practicing "the sway" as you walk. I do not care if whether it is early morning, and you're still in pajamas. It is time to focus. Get the coffee brewing, put on your pretty heels, and start walking. You will soon realize that it is practically impossible not to move those amazing hips of yours when you are walking in a pair of heels. Now remember not to overdo it. You want to aim for the "gentle breeze" effect.

Do you listen to music as you are getting ready for the day? If you don't, you are missing out on a sensual and energizing experience. First thing in the morning, you really should listen to music which speaks to you. Do some dancing. Nobody except your pet will see you getting your groove on, that is, unless you want someone to....

Yep. It is just you and your body enjoying the beat of the music, between swipes of mascara and dabs of lipstick. Not only will the rhythm brighten your mood first thing in the morning, but the pulsing beat will make you feel pretty darn sensual, and that's just what we're aiming for. Believe me when I say that music in the morning can work wonders for your spirit.

Below is a music video meant for inspiration and fun... a way to get your creative juices flowing. Shakira wasn't kidding when she said "Hips Don't Lie." So, just remember....you're a palm tree swaying gently in the breeze. Now get to it!

Facts About Beauty & Sensuality

Top 3 Sexiest Countries According to MenHow Women View Their Own BeautyWhat Science Says About Sexiness

Brazil

Over half of women globally agree they are their own worst critic

Humor is Sexy

Russia

Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves sexy

Establish that you're hard to get in general, but very enthusiastic about the person you are with

Columbia

80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty

Emotional, personal exchange promotes powerful feelings of connection

A Word About Shoes

If you are going to put a wiggle in your step, you must have the right shoes. Flip flops and Birkenstock's will not do. Stilettos are ideal, but if you just cannot walk in them or if they are just too impractical for everyday use, no need to panic---your mid-heel or kitten heel will do fine. The point is to own pretty heels, even if the heels are only 1 1/2 inches high. Heels should also fit well and be relatively comfortable, especially if you must wear them all day at the office. Yes, the flats are practical, but they simply do not promote that feeling of sexiness. On the other hand, beautiful high heeled shoes do wonders for a woman’s sensuality. We do not know what it is, but they just make us feel sexy. So…. dig out those high heels; better yet, buy some beautiful new heels. Your "softly swaying hips" will thank you.

For special occasions, high heels with sparkles never hurt.

For special occasions, high heels with sparkles never hurt.

Please Do Something With That Hair!

Have you been wearing the same tired hairdo for the past 15 years? Have you replaced going to the hair salon with a monthly box of Clairol? Have you been (God forbid) cutting your own hair? Do you have that over-bleached or, worse yet, the "mousy brown" hair thing going on? If so, then it is high time you decided to do something about that very unsexy hair of yours. Beautiful, shiny, well-cut hair that compliments your face shape, is one of the best ways to begin feeling sexier. In fact, you cannot do without good hair if you want to be a sensual woman. And remember, it is imperative that you and your hairstylist choose a color that best suits your complexion.

Maybe you have always wanted to be an auburn-haired beauty or a warm blond. If so, discuss your vision with a good stylist. He or she would love to give you some great advice. That is what a good hairdresser does! And one more thing---if the stylist you are currently seeing is not making you look gorgeous, you need to find a new one. Here's a tip: Find a hair stylist who is usually booked six weeks in advance. There is a good reason why these professionals are so popular. They know what they are doing and, they’ are almost always worth the wait! Personally, I have had the greatest success with stylists who rent their own chairs. Also, they may not necessarily charge as much as the expensive salons with the pretentious names. However, we must be prepared to pay top dollar for a good cut and color.

The key to having great hair is to share your vision with your stylist. Just remember that your relationship with a good hair professional is a two-way street. If they are proficient at what they do, you need to listen to them as well. Congratulations! You are now on your way to having gorgeous hair that makes everyone take a second look!

Now We're Talking

A medium bob. Simple but sexy... and the color suits her complexion perfectly!

A medium bob. Simple but sexy... and the color suits her complexion perfectly!

Love Your "Imperfections"

The funny thing is what you think you do not have could turn out to be one of your greatest assets. Do you think you are a little wide around the hips? Nonsense. Curves are making a comeback! What you need to do is to bravely wear your skirts more fitted than you have dared before. If you must buy the spanks to flatten the tummy, then do it. And while you’re at it, make sure you find a skirt with a tiny slit, for added fun! Fitted, but not tight clothing goes a long way toward making a woman feel delicious and beautiful.

And now a word about your facial features. I hear women saying, "Oh, but my nose is too big or too long." Well, that is plain silly. Everyone knows that the nose is what gives the face character. A so-called "big" nose makes you look more interesting, in a good way. Your long nose is something to be proud of because it sets you apart and gives people an interesting clue about your wonderful ancestry.

Truthfully, there is something very appealing about a person who feels good about their supposed flaws. It is called confidence, and confidence is always sexy. Barbara Streisand would never think of altering her beautiful schnozzle. And why would she---it has added to her fame. Well, okay, her immense talent gave her most of her deserved fame, but we all agree----her nose is perfect for her. The point is: Learn to love your imperfections because, when all is said and done, they will serve you well.

Another seductive woman who would never let her somewhat larger than average nose, nor her rather plain features, get in the way of her exciting and enticing self was Cleopatra. She managed to seduce both Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, two powerful Roman leaders.

Yet Greek historian Plutarch, maintains that “her beauty was in itself not altogether incomparable, nor such as to strike those who saw her." Likewise, Plutarch states that conversation with Cleopatra “had an irresistible charm, and her presence, combined with the persuasiveness of her discourse and the character, which was somehow diffused about her behavior towards others, had something stimulating about it.”

In other words, her immense charm outweighed her facial features.

You're Never Too Old...

I'm sorry? Did I just hear you say you are too old to be sensual? Please do not let me hear you say that again. Ever heard of a woman by the name of Ernestine Shepard? If you have not, it's high time you did. Ernestine is an American bodybuilder---one of the oldest competitive bodybuilders in the world. She is also a marathon runner, and as of 2021, she is 85 years old. That's right---eighty five! Furthermore, she is gorgeous, and she has sensuality coming out of her ears.

So, the next time you find yourself whining about your age, you had better stop that foolishness and begin realizing that you can maintain your sensuality if you put your mind to it. So, now that you know the truth of the matter---get up off that couch and start doing some push-ups. The girl-kind will do very nicely, thank you!

Ernestine Shepard. Sexy as hell!

Ernestine Shepard. Sexy as hell!

Fitness Is Sexy

Not only can you be a sensual woman; you can also be a fit woman. Ernestine Shepard was not always athletic. In fact, she was a middle aged, pudgy woman who hated the way she looked in a swimsuit. She decided to do something about it. She joined a gym, and she took baby steps until one day, someone recommended that she try lifting weights.

That did it. Ernestine's life has never been the same since---and the same can be true for you. Frankly, it is much easier to imagine engaging in amorous activities when we feel "buff." The great news is that even one session of exercise can actually "trick" us into feeling like we are in better shape already! It is a matter of finding the right "exercise fit." Once you begin seeing results, there will be no stopping you---you sexy woman you!

Let Go of the Anger for Your Own Sake

Anger is not sexy. Turn your anger into a spirit of generosity. Allow calm into your life. Make that choice and make it today. By the way, exercise is ideal for alleviating stress. Exercise increases something called norepinephrine, a chemical that moderates our response to stress, and as we all know, exercise also releases endorphins which cause us to feel happier.

Yes, the world feels like a crazy place much of the time. We are bombarded with horrific news daily; nevertheless, our anxiety is not going to solve the worlds' problems. Not one hungry child will benefit from our unhappiness, so for goodness’ sake, give happiness a chance for yourself. There is still so much to be thankful for. Stop to savor your blessings, for they are there to make you calm and contented. Plus, your new-found joy will do wonders for your sex life!

Sexy Is Not Sexist

Before anyone gets riled up about high heels, pretty hair, swaying hips and how that relates to feminism, just know that men want to feel sexy too. Men get in a slump just like women do. One of the funniest, most heart-warming movies out there, "The Full Monty," captures this truth quite beautifully. The film is about six unemployed steel workers who decide to put on a Chippendale style dance act to raise desperately needed funds. However, the underlying message of the film is about six men who have little, if any, confidence in themselves or their sex-appeal, and how they manage to get their self-esteem back.

The point is, we do what we must to make a difference in our lives. When all is said and done, our sensuality is a part of who we are, and it is up to everyone to find a way to recover his or her sensuality by respecting one's self, and without wasting time worrying about sexism or political correctness.

A Great Scene from "The Full Monty"

A Final Word

Whether you find your sensual self through music, meditation, physical activity or in any other way, the important thing is to honor your sensuality. By opening all your physical senses, you will learn to savor a delicious meal, slowly, and with ample time for conversation. You will appreciate the clean smell of a spring day after the rain. You will savor the sensation of licking the whipped cream off your café macchiato; and naturally, you will relish the sensual joy of massaging your lover's body with essential oils. These are all beautiful, happy, sensuous experiences... and there are so many ways to open all of our senses to the physical world. It only takes some imagination and the willingness to let your spirit guide the way.

Lastly, this article is meant to promote balance. Women know, intrinsically, that her sexiness has nothing to do with "sex on demand." Rather, her sensuality is an intrinsic part of who she is. Her sensuality is a gift.

And one more thing... never forget that laughter is sexy too!

Always....Yves

Comments

Yves (author) on July 06, 2021:

Hi Devika.... If you wear heels enough, you get used to them. That saying, some heels are not at all high, but still quite pretty. In fact, really high heels (stilettoes) are not particularly suitable for women "of a certain age" as the French like to say. The important thing is to remember to walk with purpose and to show off one's feminine self.

I appreciate your positivity, always.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on July 06, 2021:

It does make one feel sexy and alive.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on July 06, 2021:

savvydating Wow! Interesting walking in heels. I have tried that is difficult to walk in for me. I must say that when in heels one does feel positive, and walking with confidence is key to having control over those heels. You valuable tips are useful.

Yves (author) on July 04, 2021:

Hi Flourish,

Thank you so much! I try not to sound like Cosmopolitan magazine which leads women astray, last time I checked. Ha!

And a Happy Independence Day to you as well!! I am starting the day right with huevos rancheros for brunch! Yum.

Yves (author) on July 04, 2021:

Hahaha! I hear you, Ms. Dora, which is why I am glad that heels come in so many sizes. I'm a big fan of kitten heels myself.

Thank you for the kind words.

FlourishAnyway from USA on July 04, 2021:

Yves, I love your spirit and your advice. Have a wonderful Fourth of July.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on July 04, 2021:

Thanks for this timely article. I like the the mature, sensible tone. It's taking a little more effort to balance myself on my heels these days, but I'm not ready to give them up. Thanks for the encouragement.

Yves (author) on July 03, 2021:

Thank you, MG. It was a work of love.

MG Singh emge from Singapore on July 03, 2021:

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this article.My GF also liked it.

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