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How to Fake Pink Eye : Treatment, Redness and Discharge

Trained in dentistry, Sree is currently studying lab sciences. She enjoys researching various health topics and writing about her findings.

It happens even to the best of us: sometimes we wake up in the morning with none of the vigor and enthusiasm we usually need to get through the day. We feel a need to take a break and recharge, to just temporarily stop and have some much-needed "me" time.

The problem is, other than this existential need to commune with ourselves, we can't find an excuse that is plausible enough to have our absence at work or at school be considered justifiable by the human resources group at the office or by the teachers at school. Now there's the rub. Sounds familiar?

You're not exactly the first person who has to concoct a lie to justify your absence from work or school. Every day, thousands of people whip up all sorts of excuses to get away with not showing up to where they are supposed to be at. These excuses range from the complex to the simplistic, and from the intricate to the outright ridiculous.

For example, working moms sound more believable when they say they have to stay at home to attend to their sick children than single workers who reason that they have to skip work because of a simple case of headache. In addition, attending a funeral is an excuse that people tend to be more lenient to, as opposed to something as trite as having diarrhea.

How to Fake Pink Eye Redness and discharge

How to Fake Pink Eye Redness and discharge

Avoiding overused excuses

But we are not all working moms, and we can only whip out the funeral excuse far less than we need to because seriously, how many times can a dead person be buried? In other words, you need to be more creative in your excuses. One way of doing this is by doing away with eyebrow-raising clichés. Think of something that has not been overused yet. Something like how to fake pink eye.

Saying you have pink eye is a good excuse because nobody wants to be anyone near someone who has this condition. It is also a departure from some of the most common excuses given by many people whenever they have to be absent from work or school. This makes it new and somehow more believable. But what is pink eye? What are its symptoms and what are the factors that cause it?

Pink eye is also known as conjunctivitis or red eyes. It is characterized by the redness and inflammation of the conjunctiva. This is the moist tissue that covers the surface of the eyes and lines the eyelid. It's not by any means an exotic disease. In fact, it's a fairly common condition.

A number of things can result in pink eye. Allergens and physical irritants, such as dust, wind, and smoke can cause your eyes to turn red and swell. It's also something that can be caused by either virus or bacteria. Among the known bacteria that cause pink eye are Streptococcus and Staphylococcus.

Pink eye infections caused by virus or bacteria can be very contagious. This is why getting direct contact or sharing personal items with affected individuals can also be a cause of infection.

Your success in how to fake pink eye rests in how well you are able to mimic its symptoms and physical manifestations. Since pink eye is generally not painful, there is no need to complain about any form of physical discomfort. That leaves the eyes as your focus.

How to Fake Pink Eye and Treatment

How to Fake Pink Eye and Treatment

Redness and discharge

Pink eye is characterized by redness in the white of the eye. Accompanying this redness is a form of discharge that comes out of the eyes. There are three types of pink eye, each with its own unique discharge. Serous conjunctivitis, for example, comes with a clear and watery discharge. Follicular conjunctivitis, on the other hand, has a mucuous discharge that later turns into a rough and cobblestone surface around the eyes. Meanwhile, purulent conjunctivitis typically comes with a discharge that contains mucus and pus.

So in order how to fake pink eye, focus on turning your eyes red, creating the illusion of discharge, and forming crusty eyelids or eyelashes.

There are a handful of techniques how to fake pink eye. These range from the fairly simple to the complex. The easiest way to do this is by simply rubbing your eyes. Do this for a minute and your eyes will be red in no time. But before you do so, make sure to clean up your hands first to avoid irritation.

To create the illusion of discharge, apply a small amount of clear gel at the tip of your eyelids and a little under your eyes. You can also add a dash of red lipstick to highlight the redness of your eyes. Choose the regular red lipstick, not the glossy or sparkly variety. This will make it seem like there is a discharge around your eyes.

How to Fake Pink Eye

How to Fake Pink Eye

Another way to redden your eyes is through the use of chemicals, specifically soap and shampoo. Be forewarned, though: doing this will cause a moderately painful to a stinging burning sensation in the eyes.

To begin, put a small amount of shampoo or soap under your eyes. Next, you rub your fingers on your eyes until said soap or shampoo gets in. This will immediately cause irritation in your eyes, which will turn pink as a result. Wash up to remove the bubbles and excess chemicals.

Hate the burning sensation in your eyes? Here's another way how to fake pink eye. This method is basically all about inducing yourself to sneeze repeatedly until your eyes turn red and tears well up.

To do this, find a pointed object to tickle the inside of your nose. This will force you to sneeze. Do this until your eyes swell and tear up. But don't wipe such tears. Let your tears dry up to resemble dried discharge around the eyes.

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Treating pink eye - How to Fake Pink Eye

Be prepared to answer questions about pink eye the same day you come back for work or school. How to fake pink eye does not only constitute your ability to mimic the physical manifestations of this eye illness, but you should also understand the things that need to be done to get rid of the problem.

Know that there is as yet no known cure for pink eye. Most cases last for about a week or so, but the disease normally goes away on its own without too much medical intervention. So essentially you just need to take a couple of days to rest and you should be fine.

But there are a couple of options available to minimize the redness and swelling of the eyes, as well as the other physical manifestations of pink eye. Doctors usually prescribe antibiotic eye drops and artificial tears to combat dry eyes. Ice packs may also be pressed over the affected eyes to reduce the itchiness and swelling.

Pink eye caused by bacteria and virus spreads easily, which is why saying you have pink eye is often enough for people to want to stay as far away from you as possible. But know that in dealing with this contagious condition, prevention is certainly far better than cure.

Prevention involves proper hygiene practices. Learn to always wash your hands, and disinfect if you need to. Refrain from feeling your eyes with your fingers. If you must do so, remember to make sure your hands are clean. At the same time, do not share your personal items with others. Makeup, towels, and pillows, for example, are for your own use only and are not meant to be shared.


Umesh Chandra Bhatt from Kharghar, Navi Mumbai, India on February 22, 2019:

Nice article.

Genesis on January 12, 2019:

You can fake it by using eyeshadow

Harry Styles on November 17, 2015:

Faking pink eye is really not a good idea. From experience, you can cause damage to your eye AND if your parents find out- they will most likely take you to the doctor immediately. That causes a lot of unnecessary things like wasting money on medicine, and you have to keep up the act. It's a dumb idea. That's just for people in school thought. And you'll end up feeling like shit afterwards, emotionally.

mariaj on May 12, 2015:

How do u make your eye look pink

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