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How to Become Free from Hypnotic Voice of Criticizing Childhood Authorities

Val is a life-long student of unexplored human potential and many challenges that self-honesty throws at us on that path.


There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.

-- Graham Greene

Selling Ourselves Short in Life -- Where Did It Really Start?

On a You tube educational video a man is put under a hypnotic trance and given a post-hypnotic suggestion that upon awakening he will feel an urge to take his shoes off, and then put them back on -- but to the opposite feet.

And so the man does, now fully(?) awaken he is asked to look at the shoes of the audience sitting in the front row, and tell if he sees anything out of ordinary.

"Yes" -- he says -- "they are all wearing their shoes on their wrong feet. Hey, folks! Don't you feel uncomfortable like that? -- says he shaking his head.

Now, how many of us may go through life having thoughts, emotions, attitudes, and beliefs that are unnatural, and not life-promoting at all -- as if possessed by some volition that we can't resist? And how many times we rationalize them as something that we see as normal -- while "it's others that are crazy"?

More often than not, even upon realizing where our limitations are coming from, we still have a hard time to snap out of that negative trance.

Let's see a couple of other examples.

In another experiment showing the similar emotional slavery, aquarium is divided in the middle by a transparent glass; on one side is put a hungry pike, and on the other a minnow that's a natural pike's food.

Immediately after, the bigger fish start charging against that barrier, hitting its nose against it every time. It goes on like that for a while, until the pike gives up. At that point the little fish is placed right beside the big, hungry one, which, as if by a miracle, displays no interest to now offered food.

How many of us, with our confidence crippled in childhood by constant prohibitive, criticizing, an ridiculing remarks -- later on in life, when "the glass barrier was removed" -- kept sabotaging ourselves out of unconscious belief that failure was inevitable.

In the last example showing the same effect, a young elephant is tied by chain to a strong pole, which in its adulthood gets replaced by a rope tied to a stick -- with the result that the mighty animal stays put, programmed into belief that being tied means not being able to move away.

Can we see the same pattern of hypnotic conviction in our own lives?


As human beings, we all mature physically from childhood to adolescence and then into adulthood, but our emotions lag behind.

-- Bernard Sumner

Remember The Beatles' Song "All You Need Is Love"?

The crux of the issue hardly ever gets addressed -- and it's all about emotional starvation for love.

Over all those young years we got conditioned to accept as true all that criticism, unconsciously cursing ourselves for being "obviously so bad" that we didn't deserve love of those on whom our very survival depended.

That inner beating on ourselves stayed on with us like our shadow that we could not shake off.

Then in an attempt to do something about it -- if we even got to the stage of wanting to -- we relied on someone on the outside to give us something that we have been depriving ourselves of.

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In that process many may cash in on it -- while we are bound to drift from one promising vitamin to another, one therapeutic modality to the next.

The solution, however, is at the same place where the very issue started -- in our unwillingness to replace all that self-tormenting with love. Not the one of narcissistic, egocentric kind, but that gentle, accepting, supporting, friendly, appreciative self-love.

The kind of love that our very cells are thriving on, while providing that spark of vitality in us.

What comes from others in form of love may always go through some variable stages, while depending on the level of your deserving it -- and even taken away completely -- while your own loyalty to yourself can shine in there unconditionally.

And as you make that first step on that path of self-loving, you might as well be aware of possible emotional traps.

Namely, all of a sudden, your self-protective love may go overboard, as you may develop a rebellious attitude toward all those of our life who should have, but didn't show love, respect, and appreciation toward you.

Now, could it be your boss, with his remarks about your less than acceptable performance? Is it your spouse giving you that pitiful smile every time you do something in a clumsy way? Or, how about those friends who just can't give up patronizing you?

Indeed, it is a trap to be avoided by all means, while it seems like the whole world was so much more comfortable with your previous image than this new, confident, smiling, strong one.

Don't fall in that emotional trap.

Your inner child doesn't need any "closure", let alone a "revenge" -- by your needing to prove to everyone of your life what metal you are built of.

Those who mean something to you will automatically love you more as they sense those stronger vibes emanating from you -- and those that you don't care about are not worth any proving anyway.


Your emotional life is not written in cement during chidhood. You write each chapter as you go along.

-- Harry Stack Sullivan

Beyond "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall..."

So, how do you go about this new intimate business of loving yourself?

There are three very powerful tricks that will increasingly feel very convincing to your heart.

The first one I designed by combining two other tricks into one.

To do it, you will need the private environment of your bathroom with your bathroom mirror. Preferably while no one else is home -- so you don't worry that someone might hear your whisper -- you look in your eyes in the mirror and slowly do that Hawaiian chant called Ho-oponopono, which goes like this:

-- "Thank you".

-- "Please forgive me"

-- "I am sorry"

-- "I love you"

Repeat it for a little while, at least for about ten repetitions -- without counting them, it doesn't matter how many they are. What matters is that you see in your eyes that child that you used to be, and to whom you owe love, and gratitude for being patient with you, and to whom you owe a genuine apology for waiting so long.

Love that child in you, and feel being loved back. Blend with that innocence in you, feel becoming whole, free from the fragmentation of many roles that life imposed on you.

Then comes the second trick, and, by the way, I call them tricks, although the only part of you that you are "tricking" is that false image created by negative hypnosis back in childhood. And I call it "hypnotic" because up to the age of about seven, we are constantly in theta brain-wave state, which is characteristic for hypnosis.

So, let's go to the second trick. I call it "silent belly laughter", and it consists of that spasmodic shaking the belly which happens when we laugh -- except now we do it silently.

The neuro-endocrine and energetic effect is the same as in laughing aloud, as we are loosening the diaphragm and the whole that area of solar plexus with a big network of nerves, which is in Japan called "second brain". It also coincides with the solar plexus chakra, or energy vortex.

When we are negatively hypnotized in childhood, there is a blockage of energy in that region, and we suffer from lower self-esteem, low voltage of will-power, and consequently depression and anxiety.

Everybody can benefit from that practice. Believe it or not, I can do it while on a busy mall without anybody noticing. All you do is taking a normal breath and shooting the air out in short installments, resembling laughter.

And the third practice I call "erring on purpose".

In order to neutralize that inner critical voice which made your negative feedback mechanism go trigger-happy, so that you may feel self-conscious even while you are doing everything right -- you need this practice, and it may even be fun.

Namely, while you are alone at home, or in your room, or in the bathroom, put something out of its place, drop a pen, a towel, move picture on the wall so it's not straight, or anything else that will not mean a damage, and can be corrected quickly.

But don't fix it for a while. Step over it, look at it how it's out of whack, but don't fix it. Go in another room, knowing that it needs fixing, but don't do it.

After a while, you may start feeling an unusual tingling in your gut, something like a victory, as your negative feedback mechanism has been retrained to let go of its constant spying on what you may be doing wrong.

As you can see, there are ways to silence that critical voice in our head, with an untold freedom blessing our future. That old hypnotic spell is only as persistent as we are allowing it to be.

Well, with this being said, let it be all for this article.

I hope some of it might have given an inspiration to some of you.

Be well everyone, and blessings to all.

© 2022 Val Karas

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