Ruby is a freelance writer from the Philippines. She teaches communication courses and enjoys gardening and reading as her other pastimes.
Some people often say that being single means, being unhappy. However, having been single for a long time, this does not have to be necessarily true. As I stay single, I realized that, singleness does not have to be a lonely world. Singles can be happy too just like the married people can. Find out some down to earth secrets to happiness backed up by research from this article.
Choose to be happy.
Aristotle declares, "Happiness depends upon ourselves." Happiness is a state of mind. It is a conscious choice by the individual. You have to choose to be happy if you want to. No one else will make you happy. It is you yourself who has the greatest control over your own happiness in life. The others are just secondary. Every single day as you wake up, you need to make a decision to be happy. Leo Tolstoy confirms this idea saying "If you want to be happy, be." Happiness is not even dependent on activities or events. Groucho Marx also supports this concept saying "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
Have a stable job.
Although money is not the only thing that makes us happy. But, whether we like it or not, it is a fact that most of the times we really need money. We need money to buy our most basic needs such as: food, clothing, and shelter. We need money to pay our bills of many types. We need money to survive in this world. Many singles are unhappy because they lack the resources they should have for some of their basic needs. Sometimes, they want to buy something they badly need, but can't have it because there is not sufficient amount to procure that need. That is why, it is important that you being a single person has a stable work that gives you a steady income. You need a stable work where you earn a sizable amount to support yourself with your basic needs. A study on The Relationship Between Work and Happiness, reveals that having a job is important."The overwhelming importance of having a job for happiness is evident throughout the analysis, and holds across all of the world’s regions.... And unemployed people reported that they experienced around 30 percent more negative emotions in their daily lives as well as fewer positive ones."
Engage in a hobby that you really love.
While single, it is important that one has a sort of diversion from the usual work. One has to engage in a hobby that he or she loves.
A recent study shows that "Having a hobby is a great way to spend your spare time and unwind from your daily routine - whether it's learning a new skill, doing something outdoors, reading, or doing something musical or artistic."
The research continues that, "Spending time on an activity that you enjoy can improve your mental health and well being. Research shows that people with hobbies are less likely to suffer from stress, low mood, and depression. Activities that get you out and about can make you feel happier and more relaxed. Group activities like team sports can improve your communication skills and relationships with others."
Dr. Jennifer Taitz who wrote the book entitled How to be Single and Happy states, "Living a happy life is a combination of doing meaningful activities, having social support, and practicing mindfulness."
Get connected with good people.
While single, it would be good to connect with important people in your life. Social connection can prevent being sad and depressed. Each time I listen to others' stories in groups that I connect with, I learn from their experiences and struggles. Then I try to reflect on my own life and I realize, that their struggles are even more challenging than mine. From there, I get lessons for my own learning and introspection. Further, being able to share your thoughts and burdens with others helps unload those heavy emotions from your heart.
"In the current research, social support and its dimensions could predict happiness. The results are consistent with the findings of studies that confirmed the predictive power of social support for happiness." So, be in a group of good people who can strengthen you and help you grow both mentally, socially, as well as spiritually.
Give yourself a special treat once in a while.
This may sound strange, isn't it? But as I have observed, I see many of us are fond of treating others and taking them to special restaurants or places. However, few of us take the time to treat ourselves.
"Acts of self-care are not selfish and should be something that we personally enjoy so we will keep coming back to them. Treating oneself is an act of self-care. The only requirement is that you do something deliberate to take care of yourself", says Lisa Tams of Michigan State University. So, if no one will take you to a special place for a dinner, do it yourself. Don't wait for someone to do that for you. Treat yourself in a special way. Go to a nice restaurant. Order yourself good and nutritious food. Make this event a special time when you get to date yourself. Be your own partner, and give yourself all the love you would expect from someone. Buy yourself a beautiful dress, or suit or a lovely flower. Take yourself out, and focus on yourself alone.
Travel to places you've never been before.
Travelling to new places gives one an opportunity to see the world in different perspectives. Each time I travel, I feel being renewed and refreshed. I go back to my own place with new ideas, new learnings, and new thoughts. This changes my way of looking at things and my personal views in life, helping me become livelier and happier.
A new study published in the journal Tourism Analysis has found that frequent travelers tend to feel more satisfied with their lives than those who don’t take vacations often. The findings come from a study on 500 people from Taiwan.
Make God as your partner.
No partner? Make God as your partner. Having God in every aspect of your life plays a vital role in your happiness. True joy is rooted in God. Real happiness is only found in a heart full of gratitude for God's love, mercy, and grace. Apostle Paul understands this when he utters, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope" (Romans 15:13). Being in God and with God brings us happiness. Spend time with Him studying His word. Listen to Him. Talk to Him in your quiet moments through prayer. He will always listen to you.
Aside from spending time with God, be with people who love God. A new research found that "People who are active in religious congregations tend to be happier and more civically engaged than either religiously unaffiliated adults or inactive members of religious groups, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of survey data from the United States and more than two dozen other countries."
God desires our happiness. The Psalmist King David understands this when he expresses, "May all who are godly be happy in the Lord and crown him,our holy God"(Psalms 97:12, TLB).
Those who have God in their lives are happy people. King David who has gone through lots of life's troubles declares, "Happy are the people whose God is the LORD!" (Psalm 144:15, KJV).
Happiness stems from the fact that we have God in our lives. God keeps us happy. God gives us joy. Being with Him is enjoying life to the fullest. Trusting Him gives us confidence for what the future holds.
The Prophet Isaiah adds "And the ransomed of the Lord shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads. They shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away"(Isaiah 35:10).
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2022 Ruby Campos