Personal development is one of my passions and one I pursue in my day-to-day life.
Do Not Try to Control the Uncontrollable
Us humans have a natural tendency to want to stay in complete control of our lives. While the intention is more than understandable, the need to control our surroundings can lead to depression and mental diseases.
The cruel fact is that most things in our world and universe are beyond our control. No matter how you look at things, you will come to the same conclusion sooner or later. For instance, look at the recent war in Ukraine. A conflict, a brutal invasion that in just one day changed the lives of millions of people.
You Can React, but You Cannot Control
No matter how successful or unsuccessful these people were – most of them had to start to live a completely different life to survive. Those who were lucky managed to flee to another country – but without most of their possessions. Those who were unlucky are sadly still there, knowing that the final day of their life can arrive at any time. Many have lost their family. Many have been injured for life or killed. Thousands of people with hopes and a plan for the future never got to experience life as they wanted to.
The point is that something totally beyond their control happened to them that changed their lives forever, and they could not do a single thing about it. You may argue that war is the most extreme situation. Therefore, using it as an example is a little overkill, but let's be honest here. You cannot control climate change, you cannot control how other people will behave, you cannot even control which decisions your country makes, and I could go on for ages. You are living in a world where criminality is increasing, even in countries that used to be considered safe.
Yes, you may have a say. You can have a vote or an action – but that isn't enough. Having an opinion about something or doing something does not mean that you are in control. It is just reacting to whatever is happening out there, either directly to you or the others, but it does not change the outcome itself.
However, do not fall into a depression here. Not being in total control and accepting and acknowledging the fact can be very rewarding and give you a taste of freedom. Because in the end, that's the only thing you can do. One individual cannot move mountains. It can, however, live to its best possibilities and hope everyone around does the same, but that's pretty much it. Do not ever try to control the uncontrollable.
Learn to Be More Aware of Yourself
How aware are you of yourself? Do you feel your body? Do you observe your mind? When was the last time you thought about these questions and evaluated them properly?
In today's fast-paced world, we are bad at being aware of ourselves and what makes us humans. As a result, it's easy to overlook ourselves in all that chaos. Ultimately, it is the relationship with yourself that's the absolute most important one. There is only one person you're spending all your time with – and that person is you. So make sure you enjoy your own company.
Is Meditation Overrated?
Meditation is what most of the so-called gurus would advise you to do. But I will go a little different route here and pick breathing exercises as an exercise that will massively help you become more aware of yourself.
I am a skeptical person. So when I heard about breathing exercises, I was not convinced. But one evening, I finally decided to try it out – and the results were fantastic. You empower your body much better than during regular meditation.
There are a lot of different breathing techniques, so you may feel a little bit overwhelmed when searching for these. My first proper one where I did the work and got myself into it was thanks to a video by Clark Kegley. I usually do not follow Clark, but this concrete video was one I replayed and practiced over and over. I'll link it here so that you can try it out yourself.
However, promise me one thing – you need to take it slowly in the beginning. These breathing exercises can be tough to do if you're not used to these kinds of stuff. So adapt it to your liking and do not overpush yourself.
Yesterday Is History, Future Is the Mystery
As the header states, what lies in the future is unknown to us. You may think you have a pretty good idea about what will happen, but that is nonsense. No one knows what will come, neither in one hour or a year. You may be a highly educated scientist, but you are still approximately as powerless as me or anyone else living here on this planet. You may have a guess, you even may have a less or more valid theory about what will happen, but in the end, that's about it.
Since you cannot control what has happened, nor what will happen – the only thing that remains is the "right now" state. That's the only guarantee there is, that right now you are here, right now you feel. Practice being right here, right now. It may sound too esoteric, but it does not matter whether you are trying to align yourself with the universe to develop your spirituality or whether you want to feel better and less anxious in your day-to-day life.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2022 Jan Stepan