How to find the meaning of life?
More and more women complain of a feeling of emptiness and meaningless. Often a woman is at a loss because she does not know what she really wants. Work does not bring you pleasure. You are angry with clients, patients, colleagues.
You are worried about frequent and ongoing illnesses. You feel underestimated by the boss. Moreover, stability, no matter how reliable, predictable, and confident it brings, is accompanied by a loss of interest.
As a result, you do not feel joy and desire. Suddenly, you realize that everyday life is becoming a burden that you drag along with you.
Longing and a sense of meaninglessness are exacerbated when you realize that no one notices your efforts and works. Family, partner, children behave as if they are indifferent to your care.
This undermines the balance of motivation. You feel tired and cheated.
But if you make a mistake or not make a petty commission, only in this case you are noticed in order to express your indignation. You yourself also begin to blame yourself and feeling a loser.
There is a fear of living a life in vain, in which there is only empty and routine.
See the structure and feel the good.
To experience an activity as meaningful, relationships are needed. Fullness of meaning comes only from our connectedness with others. For example, your partner, family, work colleagues, students, patients.
It is important that you can live a relationship with yourself. Answer these questions for yourself. Does your activity bring joy to you? Is this important and interesting for you? Do you enjoy the process? For a full life, it is important every time to remember the relationship with other people. To give joy to another means to participate in this joy yourself.
If a woman does not feel what she is working for, is it good to still be married, why endure this burden with his eternal suffering. There is a feeling of confusion. The reason for this is the lack of orienting power in relation to life. Lost orienting power can be restored. To find meaning in your own decisions and actions, you must first look at the real circumstances in which you are.
We can live life only in reality, only in the world in which we are. Real conditions need to be able to be seen in their interconnections - not fragmentary, but as a structure. Dreams, desires, fantasies, stereotypes about how it should be, do not provide sufficient support for understanding the meaning.
Even understanding the structure of a real situation does not give you awareness of the essence. The motivating factor of meaning is set through feelings and relationships. The meaning is not a “empty words", but a "real emotions" - only that which causes feelings can affect us.
For example, it’s not enough to know that smoking is harmful. You quit smoking only when a health hazard is felt. You will have an emotionally filled relationship with your health as a value. That is, you need to feel the quality of a healthy life and feel regret that you refuse yourself in this healthy life. You should want to realize a meaningful intention to quit smoking. Although you have known about the dangers of smoking for many years.
Due to the ability to feel benefit, willpower appears, directing you to this good. It allows us to overcome difficulties on the way to the goal.
You need to start acting.
Sense requires determination in order to begin active actions that will help you achieve what you consider valuable. The meaning must become your own, for this he needs a personal decision.
If you feel the value of the goal and are ready to take on all the work associated with the implementation of the plan. If you are ready to take this path and truly desire, then meaning brings freedom - a feeling associated with your own personality (yourself). In the real meaning, there is the truth of the self, its authenticity, its intuition, its awareness of the self.
Testing meaning landmarks in practice.
The meaning becomes existential when revealed in a specific action following the volitional decision. Only in practice is the verification of meaning landmarks carried out - do they have real effective force?
You experience a feeling of satisfaction through self-realization with the help of good opportunities in the world. Through this comes an understanding of meaning.
To live with meaning means to grow in something significant, in your family, at work, in that hobby to which you surrender yourself with your soul. Perceiving ourselves with such an attitude, we can meet the deepest goals of man.
This requires maximum openness. While we wait and demand a solution from the situation, we remain in place. Opening up to the situation and putting your ambitions aside, you can see possible solutions and new challenges.
Then you are ripe enough for existence and you can get the experience that gives brightness to a fulfilling life. To open oneself to the “demand” of a situation means a completely different way of feeling a problem, suffering, burden, illness, or pain.
By accepting the situation, you can otherwise feel the beautiful, the cheerful, the joyful. What does the situation expect from me? What is the challenge? What is my task now? This is how a simple question sounds, which is the key to meaningful life shaping.
What are you doing to change the situation for the better?
Everything that we experience is one and the same request to us. What do you do with what you have in this situation? What are you doing to change the situation for the better, or at least not cause more harm? How do you deal with the circumstances so that then "it's not excruciatingly painful" for you and your decisions? What does a situation require of you, in which it is you must make the decision, and only you can do it, because it is about you?
With such openness to life and its profound value, we are free for the future, which is not only our own - we share the future with each other.
See your relationship from the side.
Another important aspect of meaning that relates to personal growth, namely: in what system of relationships with the world a person puts himself and his life. Because it is important to understand yourself on a wide horizon, to live with an understanding of the context.
We must raise our gaze above everyday life in order to see the interconnectedness that surpasses us. Weekends, vacations and moments of reflection are important for self-contemplation. They provide an opportunity to move away from everyday life, and from this distance to see a wider context, the true scale of what is happening.
What if you don’t feel like part of a relationship? If you don’t see, why and for whom do you carry out your activity? The following may help. What happens if you do not perform frustrating activities. For example, you will leave unwashed dishes, or announce that you do not want to cook food alone on your day off. It is important to start a conversation about this, to inform yourself first of all that you see the meaninglessness in your activity.
If for a long time you feel captured by meaninglessness, then the time has come for change. This is the "meaning" of the experienced meaninglessness. Your reality says that lifestyle must be changed. In the process of trying new means and ways, we gradually begin to feel what the future life should be like.
If you try to change your usual way of life and start a new one, you begin to suffer because you see how unhappy other people are. Or if you are faced with even greater emptiness, then it becomes clear that the old has value, it just did not feel so good before.
Meaning is a radical requirement to take your life seriously. Life follows the usual rhythm, but do not let your mind take a nap, think about your lifestyle. This life affects you!
There is always a way out.
Your teachers, bosses and popular philosophers - all of them can tell you only about how they approached their life. Life concerns you differently. Life turns to you and asks for you personally in any situation.
What fascinates you? What are you interested in? What scares you, suppresses, angers, why do you feel disgust? All this is addressed to you. Go to it, dare - this is your life!
Open yourself to everything that calls you, that you like, try yourself in a new business, in an idea, in love, and then choose. Give yourself the answer what you want. Focus on your thoughts and don't be afraid of mistakes. It’s better to do what you want than to not decide on this act, and then regret what was not done.
Don't let others tell you what you should do. Just pay attention to what others are telling you, what tradition says, what is now in fashion, what others are doing. Follow your feelings unshakably.
You will decide when it will be enough for you. You will understand if this is already wrong. You will see if you step on personal values, if you hurt others you love. You will notice where your borders are. You will determine when you approach them. Pay attention to your intuition.
Everything is very simple - live a full life, go along with it. Do not be constrained by fear in a quiet harbor, where there are mole, near the lighthouses of habits. It's your life. That is your meaning. You can find your meaning by following this path. There is always a way out.
© 2020 Elena Sunshine Magazine