Sometimes you need to silently try to heal others from pain.
We all have someone around us who is trying to heal from pain but suffering a lot from many different types of negativities, problems, hate, and emotional tortures. Sometimes, we know all about it and easily understand each and every point very clearly what the other person is trying to interpret. Every so often, that other person keeps the suffering and healing private from all the tortures alone. But the important thing is how can we help a person to heal or improve his/her inner health? It breaks our heart and makes us extremely upset when we know someone close to us is hurting and facing problems and trying to deal with things alone when it’s getting so hard for him/her. It actually makes us difficult to smile, true? So how?
“Listen more and talk less” is the best law to feel others important and help them from pain easily. Try not to be a motivational speaker like doing blah blahh blahhh… and make other people realize inferior and then ending it with “I spoke for your betterment now, be happy”. No, no way bro, it does not work effectively on the broken heart that suffered hard and already faced hell. That person has already tried everything to heal. Shut your mouth and just listen first. What's more, simply tune in.
Don’t underestimate someone’s pain and overpower your words. We all are at different levels of life and have different souls with different emotional and physical issues. Yes, if had it happened to you; probably you would not have wasted so many days on the same problem, but maybe another person needs a different level of strength to deal with it. Yes, your other friend or companion got over it in a week or month. But deep inside, the pain cuts us differently into broken pieces. We all have to cry our own load of tears, face hurt and deal with intense problems.
- Don’t pass judgment on their suffering.
- Never underestimate their level of patience.
- Try not to demoralize their pain.
- Don’t ask them “what can I do to help you out” just listen to them.
- Never ever try to play with words and complicate things.
- Don’t call them sensitive, too soft, or too senti.
- Just listen and try to understand the pain that person is suffering through.
- Don’t force that person to smile or laugh.
The hardest thing people consider at that time when they are fully broken is to smile, they can’t even think to smile. So, don’t be an idiot to force that person for smiling or laughing. Just try to understand his/her inner self. Don’t place a target that is not a goal. Ohk??
The healing process can happen without a smile or laughter, healing can be silent, and it can be step-by-step very easily. Let that person be alone for a while with his/her pain. Don’t force anything. If that person has any desire to simply sit on the ground or stairs quietly, just stay there with him/her, quietly.
Way to help in healing from pain
- Listen, listen and just listen
- Try to remain calm and be patient
- Set boundaries
- Provide support
- Boost their mood
- Divert their attention from the pain
- Motivate them back to a beautiful life
- Just feel their feeling
- Avoid giving them advice
- Express your love for them
Give love, care, and attention, but you are not allowed to show sympathy. It will make them more aware and conscious to believe in others to help them out. They will start hiding their problems, issues, or pain. They will start considering you diplomatic or fake. With the flow of time, they will cut you off from their sentiments and will remove you from their friends’ list. Treat them practically the same way that you have consistently treated them.
“Maintain the dignity of that trust and integrity alive.”
Try not to share their stories, sufferings, problems, and pain further with anybody, not your closest friends circle, not even your family members. It does not matter what your intentions are while sharing that with the next person, just don’t and keep all secrets to yourself. It takes a lot of time to gain that trust for a person to share such intimate pain or issue to heal. Please don’t break that trust. Otherwise, it will break that person badly beyond repair.
© 2022 Maria Hashmi