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Happiness: What Really Matters to Have It

Amit Sharma is a Research Scholar at Kurukshetra University, India. He is fond of writing inspirational content for curious readers.

Happiness and Externalities

It’s better to strive to become the richest person in terms of happiness than to become richest in terms of money. It’s not necessary that a person who has adequate wealth and money would be the richest one but one who possesses satisfaction and happiness is indeed a richest person in this world.

Happiness, Surrounding Events and People

It is hard to deny the fact that one’s thoughts exert more influence on one’s personality, activities, and behavior than the whereabouts the person resides. The activities, events, and things that are happening around a person have a direct psychological influence on his mindset which further affect how one thinks, perceives, behaves, responds, and acts in a particular situation. It’s not only the matter of the events or happenings occurring around a person but the thoughts of other people also influence one to a greater extent. It happens when a person assigns undue and inappropriate importance to what others are thinking and perceiving about his personality, status, and life. In simple words, when one lets others to hold his rein and starts assuming that what others think of him really matters more than his own thoughts and perception of himself, his life becomes more vulnerable to the dilemmas. The person finds himself in an awkward quandary as he has let others’ actions, thoughts to be the more significant source of his own happiness. It’s the moment when one starts believing in others than oneself.

Determining the extent to which one influences others and the extent to which one is influenced by the others can answer that to what extent he is the person of his choice.

— Amit Sharma

Who Determines Your Happiness: You or Others

Since everyone has a different perspective, mentality, attitude, way of thinking, and a unique standpoint, it becomes so perplexed for a person to find a point of consensus in the thoughts of the different people. The decisions and actions which are taken on the basis of the suggestions and advices of the others without doing much introspection are enough to ramify. Gradually, the decisions and actions of a person become dependent on the wills and thoughts of others. A moment comes when a person’s own thoughts start appearing to him worthless. The actions of a person based on the suggestions of others, his own thoughts, perception, and personality don’t longer remain the source of his happiness. In this case, happiness is not just being influenced by the surrounding events but also the viewpoints, actions and perceptions of others contribute significantly.

What Does Matter to the Happiness Nowadays?

Nowadays, happiness is like a cryptocurrency. As the cryptocurrencies don’t have existence in the real world, the same way real happiness nowadays is rare to find in the lives of the people. Although, people show others a happy and smiling face but most of them undergoing a very emotional psychological stress. As the value of the cryptocurrencies depend on the rule of the demand and supply, the same way happiness and sorrow of a person are becoming dependent on the amount of the commendations and condemnations that he receives from others. But a person must understand that no one can make him happy except himself but anyone can make him feel sad if he assigns undue importance to others than himself. A person in himself is a real source of real happiness. Therefore, one must strive to find the same within oneself.

Most of the time there are no such events which can become the causes of one’s unhappiness but thinking too much about the causes of unhappiness is the biggest reason of always remaining unhappy, unsatisfied, and sad.

— Amit Sharma

Happiness and Internalities

Furthermore, the matter is not confined to the events or the people rather it is something beyond that. Most of the time, people can be seen sad and anxious even without any reason. Even they are not being influenced by others and even surroundings are not such which can make them unhappy yet they are not happy. Now a question arises that if everything is right, good, and favorable, what and where is the problem? In this case, the problem is not confined to the external things like surrounding happenings or the actions and thoughts of the other people rather it is something internal to the person. To answer the above question, one must understand that there are hundreds of reasons in a day that may cause unhappiness to us and thousands of reasons that may bring a glittery smile on one’s face. But it is a fact that most of the people choose to focus on the former ones and ignore the latter reasons. In this way, they can’t even enjoy the pleasures and satisfaction as well from the things and blessings that they have. They don’t even remember to express their gratitude to God as they just focus on the reasons of unhappiness. This is one of the biggest causes that one can’t be happy despite possessing all the valuable and needful things for which others long and strive to get by working hard day in day out.

What Should Really Matter to a Happy LIfe?

Till now the question what really matters? remains unanswered. To answer this question, one has to recall the childhood days. When one tries to remember his childhood days, he must be sensing and feeling the real happiness felt in those days when his parents bought new cycle, new ball, small toys, dolls, new school bags, kites, new dresses, and a packet of candies on the birthday occasion. The moment when the causes of happiness were not so significant, big, and considerable but anything like enjoying the pleasurable smell from the pages of the new books, stealing notebooks and pens of friends, playing with sand and making sand houses, enjoying the cartoon programs at friend’s home and running out of the home’s entry gate to the street with a big laugh after getting scolded by friend’s mom.

If you really want to be happy all the time, learn to seek your happiness in small events because big events rarely happen.

— Amit Sharma

What Really Matters

I hope the answer has been received. But don’t worry, if not I will make you understand what really matters? In the childhood, children find their happiness in small events. They don’t wait for the big events and don’t seek happiness in money. It's a fact that big events happen rarely in one’s life. One must have enough patience If he wants to achieve something remarkable and big. But it's not like that. Most of the people want to succeed within few months or even days without exerting much efforts. This is also one of the reasons of anxiety that people frequently face in their lives. Furthermore, when one tries to seek his happiness in the big events and ignores the small pleasurable events happen daily, he can’t be happy all the time. Enjoying and getting satisfaction and pleasure from small events is possible to a greater extent. Small events can also be the memorable ones but depends on how one treats these events and also on one’s attitude towards oneself. But again, one must remember that there are thousands of small events in a day which can bring a big smile on one’s face. Therefore, one of the secrets of happiness is to live in the present and enjoy each and every moment as it comes because it’s a blessing of God.

Wrapping It Up

At last, what matters on one’s part is a few engrossed hours of introspection with profound contemplation with oneself. You must keep in mind that no one can make you happy and satisfied except your thoughts, your deeds, your way of doing things, your unique ideas, your excogitation, your insights and yourself. Try to recognize what do you like and enjoy. Once you recognize your unique secret of happiness after long musing, don’t compromise with yourself and don’t allow others to influence you negatively, interfere in your decisions and actions that you take for yourself and for your happy life.

If you want to have better relations with others, learn to compromise with them but if you want to have better relations with yourself, never compromise, do what gives you the real satisfaction and pleasure.

— Amit Sharma

What to Do?

Just hold the rein of your life tightly and set it to the right direction that will lead you to your destination. Don’t get influenced by what others are thinking and perceiving about you. Because what you think ultimately matters. Always remember that you are the leader and an influencer. Be an excogitator because you are the source of your own happiness what really matters.

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This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2021 Amit Sharma

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