Me....Just before my 30th birthday
You pull out your hair, and you eat it. I know—I did it. I started when I was eight years old—and it lasted into my 30’s. This was my secret insanity. I had Trichotillomania.
I also found out why—and what makes it stop. I FOUND THE CURE.
I will help you. Read on.
You don’t dare tell anyone—because normal people will think you are crazy.
You think you ARE crazy:
Roaming through the scalp—searching for that perfect, fat hair—and then the pull….the satisfactory tug, that gives up a nice, juicy hair root.
You crunch it between your teeth, and—INSTANTLY—the feeling of satisfaction and a moment of bliss. The hunger for –whatever it is—is gone, and it’s so wonderful.
The craving for whatever it is, only satisfied with a hair root.
The hot smell of the scalp’s oil, and the taste of scraping the hair strand through your teeth. It’s like a buzz. A hot, burning, numb, buzz, that has that distinct taste.
You scrape the top of your head with your nails, to get the soft dead skin, that you put in your mouth. It’s strangely water-resistant, but the same hot smell, and flavor of the hair goes with it, and you scratch and scratch until you have sores…and then keep scratching…because the throbbing on the top of the head is like an intolerable itch that just won’t die.
You can’t really feel pain anymore. Yanking so many hairs out by the roots, has boosted your pain tolerance, and instead…there is only a dull hot ache of the blood rushing to the area, to heal the loss.
You know you should quit. It’s gotten so bad…the bald spots are noticeable, and secretly you wonder what is wrong with you. Are you really that messed up—that you would eat your own hair? Is something so incredibly wrong, and you are so disturbed—that you are crazy?
It’s so weird and awful—that you find hardly anyone to confide in. Sometimes there is understanding…sometimes there is revulsion and rejection. Usually rejection.
My mom looked at the top of my head when I was eight years old and said “What the f*%$ is wrong with you? Do I need to take you to a doctor?” And the look of disgust and horror on her face—that I was some freak…caused me to retreat further within myself.
My mom tried everything. First hats, to make me aware outright…to feel the material and tell myself to stop. Then gloves…
She even considered I had head lice…and treated me for that too.
There were headwraps, scalp itch relief liquids, even directly spanking my hands when she caught me at it. That made me retreat into my room, where I pulled and no one could see.
She tried taking things away from me, privileges, and certain foods….
Then she tried “If you can resist for one week, you can see this movie” and it was on my honor, type of thing.
Nothing worked permanently. I do have a strong will, and I am very determined…and nobody wanted to get better more then me. So I gave it all my full heart.
But eventually, (although my head-scraping subsided and eventually disappeared)…I kept pulling out hair roots, basking in the moments of perfect bliss of finding and eating fat hair roots.
I was a very miserable little girl.
My family life was terrible. I was not from a loving home, and I was treated horribly. I will leave it at that.
But I was forced into home school, and it only multiplied the problem, as now I never saw anyone, and had no reason to try anymore….just my family that saw me as disgusting.
Some call it Trichotillomania. A crazy, long serious name that makes you feel horribly creeped out, that you are some sort of mentally disturbed person…
But the truth is, it is easily explained, and CURED.
How I got to my answer:
In my need to understand, I looked in books, medical journals, and when the internet took off in the 90’s, I did searches at the public library.
But nothing explained WHY---or what could fix the problem…other than self-restraint, therapy, and special diets…and in some very serious cases….medication.
And as I sat there, in my wrapped head at the public library…looking incredibly out of the ordinary, hiding massive patches of baldness and angry sores…..I definitely believed I was a serious case…
And the thought of being medicated or treated like someone with insanity was too much to bear.
It wasn’t until I was much older…escaping my traumatic childhood, becoming independent, and now as a mom myself, that the answer...the beautiful glorious answer, unfolded.
It is interesting to note that pulling out one’s hair, is a well-documented response throughout history in response to grief. It’s been around for many thousands of years, both voluntary and involuntary.
However—doing this—puts the body in a state of shock—and depletion.
What is the answer? Keratin deficiency.
This is the glorious answer to the eating hair/skin problem—and SO EASILY FIXED!!
This is what happens:
When you pull out your hair/wax/pluck/tweeze—the body sends a signal that the area has received damage, and needs to rebuild the hair root.
Instantly—your body will begin to look for the building blocks of creating Keratin, which is most easily gathered from protein foods, and reassembled into working materials by the body. That is why high protein foods like meats and cheeses, and things with high salt content most often give relief and are successfully used in therapy. (I’ve found that crunching salty corn chips really helps, as does eating cheezits, and chewing on jerky.)
BUT---when you pluck out SO MUCH hair that the body cannot keep up---the body begins to panic, and goes into overdrive mode—the red alert is out to find protein and keratin NOW.
So, without meaning to, sometimes out of curiosity, but usually out of subconscious need…we consume our hair roots, and even go as far as stripping or eating hair.
Well—the body knows INSTANTLY what pure, digestable keratin is. You just chewed it, and put it in your mouth. (The hair strand…..not so much. That’s already solidified and indigestible protein.)
YOU JUST ATE A PURE SOURCE OF KERATIN. The body now needs it, wants it, and you have caused yourself to be addicted. And the more you pull—to eat—the greater the insanity, and the need is perpetuated!
If you are one who eats the hair strand as well:
Actual hair strands that are swallowed—just kind of sit in the stomach, and are a low priority to be processed…put on the back burner if you will. Yes…it’s better then NOTHING…but not what your body actually needs immediately.
Your body is very smart. It will filter what you need to live out of that big ball of hair mess…and then just let it sit there. You could barf it up…but the body thinks it over…and says:
“Is this harmful?”
“No…not really…we could pass this through the digestive system over time.”
“Is it toxic then, do we remove it at once?”
“No…just let’s leave it be at the moment.”
And as long as you put yourself in the constant state, of the incessant need for Keratin…you will NEVER get better, and the ball of hair will continue to get BIGGER....stuck in your stomach.
I never actually ate my hair stands…but I was constantly hungry. I harvested and ate 80% of my head, on a consistent basis for thirty years. I would get better...hair would always grow back in…and then relapse.
THIS IS THE CURE: Buy a bottle of Keratin supplements. Take at least 500mg or greater…and take them frequently. Because you are in such a deprived state…you may need to take twice or three times the “suggested” daily dose (which is like 250mg). This is perfectly safe….as long as they don’t contain extra vitamin additives that you do not need, just take strictly Keratin.
I did a basic web search… and got it off amazon. I don’t care WHO I get my Keratin from, as long as I know they are a reputable seller and are safe to buy from. Use your best judgement.
NOW---a word of concern. You began pulling most likely because of a deep-seated emotional need/grief/pain/experience.
Once you solve your hair pulling, and balance your body out—you will no longer have this as an effective coping bandaid, and you will have a lot of things start to come to the surface—so you will probably need counseling and some form of release therapy—whether that is spiritual or not, is up to you.
But with the Keratin effectively in your system, and your determination to have your hair grow back, you will find the hair pulling no longer has any more satisfaction—it has no more power.
Which that is very wonderful and awesome….but be aware you don’t pick up overeating or some other replacement to avoid inner healing.
(I actually went to overeating…was obese…and I licked it, and I’ll write my next post about how I got thin, and you can do what I did, and get better)
Why did I write this article? Because after years of searching, all the tears, all the struggle…all the mess…I kept searching and couldn’t find an answer—only countless people like myself finally confessing after years of pain this secret shame and hopelessness….everyone asking for help…and not finding the answer ANYWHERE.
Well…here it is. Now there is one.
Go and be free, and be rid of these chains once and for all.
To your success, because it is now guaranteed….
I have gotten many emails asking about my results.
Rather then type out thousands of replies, I would like to announce FOR SURE, that 85% has all grown back in. And I feel little spiky baby hairs coming in every six months!
I was told that Castor Oil makes hair grow anywhere, eyebrows, eyelashes, and scalp. So I got myself a little fashion hair cap made out of black poly (so it won't oil-stain like cotton) from a little shop that sells fashion for women after chemotherapy. I soaked my scalp in castor oil and made sure it was saturated. I leave it on for a whole day, and I believe it works! Getting it out requires some serious soaping though. It's not "oily" as much as sticky. But after whole day, my scalp probably got what was needed and I can take the rest off and let my pores breathe. I learned that, after leaving it on a whole night! Back then I used a shower cap to keep my pillow clean when I was asleep---woke up to find my head drenched in sweat, pooling on top of the castor oil! I had no idea your head could sweat this much!
Anyway, keep coming with your mail! I may not email you back, but I'll try to answer general feedback on here!
Keratin Supplement I use:
- Trichotillomania Learning Center
Treatment information, education, and support for infants, children and adults with hair pulling disorder or skin picking disorder.