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How to Build Self Confidence (7 Habits, Your Success Story)

Jonathan is a registered life coach with essential skills to help persons navigate life with a better success ratio. It's your turn to grow


The real you is the one inside

Self confidence Is a state of mind and it can as well be stimulated by the events that life takes you through and developed as well or it can fade with continuous criticism and negative energy. It is preferably the positive attitude you have towards yourself, your skills and abilities.

A self confident person accepts and trusts him/herself, there is always a sense of control, developed from a base of knowing individual strength and weakness and ones ability to handle criticism. There is no reward in being shy about life, in the commonest sense the term is a coward. The major cause of lack of self confidence is fear and insecurity.

And now am going to take you on a journey of discovery if you are engaged in a battle of finding your roar(confidence) and on a. Journey of recovery if you had forgotten how to roar let’s get it all back.


I made it, I deserve a trophy


You need to be thankful and ready to show appreciation and return kindness to others and yourself, sounds easy right?, But when was the last time you showed kindness to yourself both emotionally and physically, it is hard to be grateful to ourselves and for our lives and actions because we are to busy admiring other people and feeling like neither what we do or who we are matters.

This positive emotion that involves being thankful and appreciative has several mental and physical health benefits, when you express gratitude to yourself, you feel grateful for something you have done, the person you have turned out to be, and you respond with feelings of kindness, warmth and other forms of generosity to yourself. This will give you a Sense of purpose, compassion and self-awareness.

Be grateful for who you are and celebrate every achievement you make you deserve to appreciated as much as other people do, but if you are not being appreciated by other people then start by appreciating yourself because it’s your life and in it you matter more than everyone


Is this the best version of myself


A self aware person has the ability to understand his character and focus on how his/her actions, thoughts, or emotions align with their internal standards. Being highly self-aware gives you the ability to objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions and align your behavior with your values. You can as well correctly understand how others perceive you.

The role of self-awareness is learning to better understand why you behave in a particular way and why you feel what you feel. Self awareness gives you a chance, the freedom to change how you feel about yourself and behavior, enabling you to create the version of you that you like and the life that you deserve.

You need to be able to distinguish between your own believes and the believe of others. Always step back and ask yourself if you are being true to yourself at the moment. There are many ways of building self awareness some of them being these four.

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o Meditate

o Ask trusted friends

o Write down your true plans and motives

o Get regular feedback from w


I can do this, I know I can

Auto-suggestion (self suggestion)

It’s An outstanding psychological technique, where you hypnotize or subconsciously adopt an idea which has originated from your own mental space. You influence your own attitude, behavior, or physical condition by mental processes other than conscious thought. With this method you tell yourself something positive and believe it, with continuous repetition you will eventually feel better about yourself or in this case more confident.

The purpose of this habit is improving morale, inducing relaxation and promoting recovery. For this to work, you need to get read of all negative thinking towards yourself, repetitively suggest the idea to yourself until you believe it’s true, and use more positive affirmation. With auto suggestion, you simply suggest a positive statement with intentions of convincing yourself that it’s a fact, doesn’t matter the odds.


Don't let your emotions get in the way of what is meant for you

— Jonah Dabe

You are unique, there is non like you

  • Self worth.

This is an internal sense of your value as a human being, the sense of feeling that you are good enough and deserving of love, respect and belonging from others. Self worth is often confused with self esteem, which entirely relies on external factors such as success and achievement. Self worth is can be present where there is no success or achievement, if you base yours on external factors then you will loose with time.

How much do you think you are worth?, Well if you answered that with a number then you need help, Coz I believe every human being is priceless, there are billions of people that have walked this earth but believe me when I tell you, there is non like you. The opinion you have about yourself, the value of your being is just unimaginable and realizing that will give you enough self confidence to face nature and say bring it on. You’re the hero in your story and your life matters just as much as mine and everyone else’s.


Let's take a peek at the future


Visualization is a powerful technique by which you reach your goals and live your dreams, it prepares your mind and body for what you want to happen and just like and exercise, the more reps you take the more doors you open.

Visualize how life would be like if you were that confident person that you have been wishing you were this whole time and while you do that set up mini goals along the way, then step by step you will get there. It principal helps you prepare and teaches you how to respond to situations before they happen, because you would have seen the expected outcomes of all that is to come. And if you have seen it then be confident enough to take it on because you have a fool proof plan.


I'm still gonna do it my way

  • Learn to react to criticism.

This is simply an expression of disapproval by someone, and it is usually based on what they perceive as a mistake or fault. This can be of two forms, such as constructive and destructive criticism. The difference is due to the intention of the criticism, constructive criticism is intended to urge you to correct the perceived mistakes or faults while destructive criticism is normally aimed at proving you wrong, usually with the intention of making you feel unworthy.

When faced with a scenario of any of the above, the best thing would be to remain calm and completely ignore the first emotion that comes into your mind and as we all know it’s always anger. If the critics intentions are to correct you then best is to thank him, and if it’s the other way around then I suggest it’s best not to criticize back but instead be the better person, keep your emotions to yourself.

Coz it’s only you that will always know what goes on in your mind, and when all of this is done, keep to your values and goals, negative critics don’t deserve your time and you do not need to prove anything to them, but I stead, let that criticism fuel you.


I must see it through

Always finish what you start

Procrastination is a habit that slowly eats up the confidence and self esteem of a person, it limits self gratification. But you as a self confident person, you should always finish what you start and trust when I say it’s always easier the first time because there is commitment and the critics are less than when you have to do it over again.

Developing this habit will make your more confident and more sure of yourself, you will be in position to be more self reliant, you don’t want to be the one that could not finish anything, in other words you don’t want to be termed the failure, now I urge you to go back to everything you left hanging and take it on, prove to yourself and everyone else that you are that you are someone than conquer every task you set your eyes upon. It doesn’t matter if they judge you because you are doing this for you not them.


You have what it takes

You have what it takes to be who you wand to be, do what you want to do and say what you feel is right by you. don’t think those people doing what you wish you could are any special, the only thing special about them is that they believed they could and went ahead and tried and failed but kept on trying ntill they got the results they wanted and you know what, no one even gives a damn about the times they had to try, just like you all they see is their success. The only time you will be termed as a failure is the day you give up and stop trying.

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You can be the guy that likes or the guy that creates, I just need to remind you, you will never realize how it feels to create

— Jonah Dabe

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 Ojambo Jonathan

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