I forgive you
Usually, we speak about forgiveness in a very loose term. “I forgive you.” This most probably means that you don’t harbor any anger against the other person anymore. But the feeling of hurt is forever embedded in your mind. This hidden hurt or resentment stays deep inside your mind preventing you from really forgive your own self, although you may have decided to forgive the other person. So, this forgiveness is actually “half” forgiveness. This is the dilemma that we face, whenever we try to forgive the other person but deep inside our heart, we did not really release him from this chain of “forgive and forget”. We cannot forget.
Let’s take a look at the meaning of “forgive” as in the dictionary. This is from the Oxford Dictionary:
1. “to stop feeling angry with somebody who has done something to harm, annoy or upset you”
2. “to stop feeling angry with yourself”
There are actually two very subtle meanings here. Let’s take the first meaning: “to stop feeling angry with somebody who has done something to harm, annoy or upset you”. In this context, this is what I have been discussing at the start of this article. You “forgive” the person, saying, “I forgive you”.
Now, take the second meaning: “to stop feeling angry with yourself”. This part is the subject of this article. You may have forgiven the other person, but you have not forgiven your own self. You did not say, “Please forgive me”.
Please forgive me
This article is about “forgive for peace and happiness”. Forgiving others as well as forgiving yourself to achieve peace in your heart. You say, “I forgive you.” And you need to add, “Please forgive me.” Then you have the twin verses of complete forgiveness. Let me elaborate.
Did you ever say this silently in your mind? “Please forgive me.” When you say this to yourself, it takes on a new meaning. A feeling of repentance, irrespective of whether the third party is right or wrong. You say, “I am sorry. Please forgive me”. This releases a new dimension in your understanding of right thinking and the true meaning of forgiveness. You express the twin verses of forgiving; your humility by saying “I am sorry” and then you repent by saying “Please forgive me.” More of this in my closing messages.
Can the other person be really forgiven?
In fact, this "forgiving" concept is very much an invention to kid ourselves. Very honest, how can anyone "forgive" others for their wrong doings? They had done something wrong, then they pay for the consequences. There is nothing for us to forgive him because we have nothing to do with their actions!! How to forgive? It is a very subtle concept.
Take for example, if you knock your head against the wall, nobody can share your physical pain. You knock you suffer. The other party can just sympathize with you, or best is to give you a hug. But can never take the physical pain away. The culprit gets nothing out of your "forgiveness". The harm has already been done. The most important concept is not what you, the victim, can do for him, but what he can do for himself to atone for the wrong he has done to you. For example, many "forgiving" wives have to endure repeated abuses from their husbands, because forgiving doesn't guarantee relief.
What if you simply cannot forgive?
You CANNOT change the past; so, you must neutralize your negative thoughts to live in peace with yourself, without requiring to forgive the person.
It is just like a war consisting of many battles to be fought. The ultimate mission is to win the war, and not every battle. The most important thing is NOT to recall all those past horrible tricks and lies that the person had played on you. The more you dig the past the more dirt and disgusting odor will appear to haunt you. Put it in a more repulsive manner: You know there is rubbish (actually the 4-letter word is a better description) thrown at your backyard, and you still want to move backwards getting yourself stuck in that smelly garbage!! The person responsible for the rubbish has gone. Why do you still want to blame this person each time you choose to repeatedly step onto his rubbish? Move forward, leave his rubbish behind. Go wash your feet, and put on your dancing shoes and move forward!! How well you want to dance is up to you. At least you don't move backwards to step on the rubbish again. This is how you are going to live your life. This is how you choose to live your life. You cannot just blame the person and get angry every minute of your life. You don't have to forgive this person, but you can get on with your life, if not happy, at least you will be at peace with your life, even with all the rubbish at your backyard as long as you refuse to move backwards.
If you don't take this step forward, you are going to be very miserable for the rest of your life, and you are going to suffer when your health deteriorates. Our body system can only take that much. With continuous thoughts of hatred and resentment, your body system in no time will succumb to illness. To be healthy, stay happy. If you can’t be happy, then at least be at peace with your own self. Do yourself this favor.
Let it be! Let it be!
Is forgiveness necessary for one's peace and happiness?
Yes, it is. There is a better way to live in peace than what I wrote in my preceding paragraphs. But the caveat is that you must practise the art of forgiveness the correct way. There is a way and here is the explanation.
You need to realize there is a universal law governing this universe and all universes. The Law of Vibrations. Vibrations are energies in action. Both phenomena are invisible and cannot be felt physically. Energies cannot be destroyed. Energies simply mutate and metamorphose into different forms to embrace the ever-changing evolution of the universe, from the vast limitless of space to the minutest details in our thoughts. This is not about religious beliefs. This is also not rocket science. This is the universal truth if one cares to observe the realities of existence. What we repeatedly think will come to actualization in due course. Of course, there are other extenuating phenomena that direct our lives. But this one universal Law of Vibrations is pervasively directing our life’s journey.
The irrefutable law is this. Our thoughts generate vibrations. Positive thoughts generate positive vibrations. Negative thoughts generate negative vibrations. Fearful thoughts generate fearful vibrations. And hateful thoughts generate hateful vibrations. Simple as that. Over time if we constantly generate the same type of thoughts, we will vibrate in this vibration sequence sending out similar vibrations and attracting similar type of vibrations.
Coming back to forgiveness. If we cannot break the sequence of our unforgiving thoughts, we continue to generate the unforgiving vibrations and we attract similar unforgiving and negative vibrations into us. The price we pay is we continue to wallow in this quagmire of mental sorrow as well as experiencing problems in our lives. Our private programming is flawed. We need to delete the misleading data, and re-input the correct workable algorithm to make our lives livable again.
The workable algorithm
The workable algorithm takes the form of a Mantra. First, is the “key” of realization and acceptance to unlock the door to peace. Second, the reformatting of your ego down to the feeling of “humility”. Third, the resetting of your willingness to “repent”. Fourth, the sending of positive vibration of “gratitude”. Fifth, expanding your positive vibration to the whole universe, sending out positive mental vibration of “unconditioned love”.
This is the Mantra:
Use your Key to unlock the door of liberation and recite the following at every opportunity of your life.
- I am sorry
- Please forgive me
- I thank you
- I love you
Give it a try
Please give it a try. You lose nothing by trying. I personally experienced the results after practising this method. I share this with deep gratitude and I sincerely wish you success in your spiritual journey to forgive for peace and happiness. This is not my personal “invention”. Please watch the video below, which inspires me to share my thoughts here. This is an ancient Hawaiian wisdom.
Ho' oponopono : Feel it
© 2020 Justin Choo
Justin Choo (author) from Malaysia on March 26, 2020:
I thank you for your encouraging comment.
And I love you.
Please stay at home. This is rule number ONE.
Health Tips Hubber from Pakistan on March 26, 2020:
your articles are best good man
Lorna Lamon on March 26, 2020:
A wonderful and uplifting article Justin and so necessary in these troubling times. Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom.