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Finding Yourself After Borderline Personality Disorder: A Woman's Story

Finding Yourself After a BPD Diagnosis

It's estimated that nearly 1 in 10 people suffer from borderline personality disorder, a mental illness characterized by instability in moods, relationships, and self-image. Despite its high prevalence, borderline personality disorder is often misunderstood, and those who suffer from it can feel isolated and alone.

But it's possible to find yourself after a BPD diagnosis. One woman's story shows us how.

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and dissociative identity disorder at the age of 25, after years of feeling like I was "different" from other people. I had difficulty maintaining relationships and was often in a state of emotional turmoil. I struggled with symptoms from other mental health disorders, but BPD is unique, and had its own set of symptoms. For me, constant depersonalization made it difficult to keep conversations. Real human relationships lost value. I was unaware of how you relate to others, or yourself.


With the help of therapy and medication, I have been able to find some stability and peace, learned to accept a version of myself, that is acceptable, and began to slowly develop a support system of people I can trust, who “want” to understand my illness.

Hope after diagnosis of borderline personality disorder

For many people, receiving a borderline personality disorder (BPD) diagnosis can feel like a death sentence. The prospect of a life spent struggling with intense emotions, impulsive behavior, and damaged relationships can be daunting.

But it doesn't have to be all doom and gloom.

I am a woman who knows BPD all too well. After years of feeling “out of control” and being called “crazy", my symptoms finally having a name, and expectation for my condition was a huge relief.

Just knowing that I wasn't alone in how I was feeling and that there was a reason for the way I was acting was such a weight off my shoulders. If you're struggling after receiving a BPD diagnosis, don't give up hope.

There is help available and you can (feel) better.


If you're not sure where to start, try talking to your doctor or a therapist. They can help you come up with a treatment plan that works for you.

Learning to Accept the Diagnosis

Sometimes there is Shame

Sometimes there is Shame

The day I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), was the day that my life changed forever. I was in a psychiatric hospital at the time and had been for a few weeks. Not voluntarily. I was in a group therapy session when the therapist was explaining options such as crisis centers available. I remember feeling so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I felt like a freak, and like there was something wrong with me.

It took me a long time to accept and understand my diagnosis. I remember Googling it and reading about all the different symptoms and of course, looking back at what the diagnosis had “taken”. Marriage, kids, jobs. I thought that I was never going to be able to get better, and that I would always be like this.

Getting “lost” for days. Hygiene would suffer.

In 2019, I was taking the bus. City of San Bernardino. Bus Driver had me in full view of his rear-view mirror. I was in a dissociative state and speaking loudly. The driver snapped me out of it. “Ma’am, please move seats, you are being disruptive, and I do not want to look at you.” I must have been loud. I will never forget him. Only the two of us were on that bus.


It takes time to learn BPD does not define you. It is a part of who you are, but it does not control you, and it should not be the only things others see in you.

I am still on my journey of recovery, still afraid, but now I know that I can get better, and I will.

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Tips for managing symptoms and improving quality of life

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 1.6% of adults in the United States have borderline personality disorder (BPD). That means that there are a lot of people out there who are living with BPD and struggling to manage their symptoms.


If you are one of those people, here are some tips that may help you to manage your symptoms and improve your quality of life:


1. Seek professional help.

2. Get involved in self-help groups.

3. Learn about your disorder.

4. Develop a support system.

5. Take care of yourself.


Experiment and find what works best for you.


Borderline Personality Disorder can be a difficult condition to live with, but it is possible to find healthy coping mechanisms to give you the best chance at a happy and fulfilling life.

It is also important to find healthy coping mechanisms. For some people, this may mean exercise or journaling. Others may find that they need to avoid trigger foods or situations. Highly stimulating scenarios, people, movies, memories, online content

Many people with BPD find that support groups can be helpful. These groups provide a space for people to share their experiences and to offer and receive support from others who understand what they are going through.


You Will find Support

There are a few things that family and friends can do to help support someone with BPD. First and foremost, it is important to provide a listening ear and to be understanding. This did not come immediately, or easy.

It can be easy to get frustrated with someone with BPD, but it is important to remember that their actions are often not their fault. They are simply a product of their illness.

It is also important to be supportive, but not enabling. This can be a difficult balance to strike, but it is important to allow the person with BPD to experience the consequences of their actions, while still being there for them. recovery is a long and difficult process, and it is important for family and friends to be patient and understanding.

If you are the family member or friend of someone with BPD, know that you are playing an essential role in their support and recovery. Your love and understanding can make all the difference.


It Is Possible to Continue Living

finding-yourself-after-borderline-personality-disordera-womans-story

Enduring a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a multifaceted challenge. In addition to coming to terms with the often-stigmatizing label, people with BPD must contend with the significant impact the disorder can have on their day-to-day lives. Though the challenges of living with BPD are significant, they are not insurmountable.

One woman's story highlights the importance of accepting oneself, finding a support system, and learning healthy coping mechanisms to live the best life you can.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2022 Dee Marie Rosas

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