Human beings are an adamant and strong species capable of handling great pain and discomfort, as we have since millenia. A man with broken legs can drag himself to safety, a woman can give birth despite the seemingly impossible conditions. Humans are an amazing species capable of reaching great heights but when the same brain, that gives us the strength to persevere turns against us, when we lose control of this majestic organ. We break and suffer tremendously, till the end of our time with nothing providing us the strength to turn it around. Decomposing and afraid.
"When within an organism the meanest organ neglects even to the slightest degree to assert with absolute certainty its self-preservation, indemnity for its expenditure of force, its ‘egoism’, the whole degenerates...." said Nietzche.
There is a loss of hope in depression. Its utter defeat.
Defeat of your sense of being. That his sense of being, the only thing that makes any person unique is faulty. A person like this is so lost that he would rather be a slave than live freely as freedom itself is pain
Depression is said to be a chemical imbalance that changes our mood, makes us weak and waste our time. It is said that depression can be genetic and can be triggered by trauma and last a lifetime.
Everyone has different triggers and varying magnitude of effects. For a child, her mother being sad about her marks maybe the biggest blow or for a businesman it may be filing for bankruptcy. There is an infinite ammout of things in the universe that may happen that can paralyze and break you.
To the people who are not willing to take the blame of their own actions that have caused their depression or amplified it.
I think thats one way of saying that you are giving up, that you have lost hope in your ability to cope up with this disease or that you dont believe you are the locus of control anymore.
My question for someone who has accepted these " facts " is simply this. Have human being not outdone themselves ? Have human beings not shown that we are the locus of control. Look around you, how is any of this possible ? You have forgotten the power of control, of responsibility and of an unwillingness to accept things the way they are.
How do you think you would react to the untimely death of your mother?
some people fall into a pit of sadness and never come out, but so many people have come out since centuries. Is it because they didnt love their mother. To someone like that you may say, what a heartless being. Well it turns out here that being the man capable of taking the stab to the heart and walking through nonetheless is the right thing to do.
" The people crazy enough to think that they can change the world are the ones that do."
Everyone has gone through periods of extreme grief. A "depressed" persons depression while some call it a bad break. Nonetheless it is essential for everyone to understand what makes a bad break into depression is your willingness to let that event break you. People say that depression wasnt my choice and im the victim. I personally have gone through this too and i understand what you mean but it is still in my opinion extremely foolish to count yourself as the victim here.
Everyone who has gone though depression realises that they were not completely innocent.
At the time when i was at my lowest i would question my worth and if i should allow myself and my parents to suffer my existence. I would ask myself if i have any value in the universe and if my life is just to produce suffering for everyone that cared about me. I was having an existential crisis and the questions i asked suddenly started becoming rhetorical with the aim to break my own self respect and worth which went fabulously.
It took me to a point when it was really time for me to question suicide and i did question it thoroughly knowing that my life literally depends on my answers.
One of the images that stopped me from going forth with my plan was the image of my mom blaming herself for my suicide. I wanted to write a letter though to make sure that didnt happen explaining to her all the reasons why im the worst child and that i would be happier dead but i know no matter what i wrote in that letter ,no reason would be enough for my mother.
The reason i wanted to die was not to prove a point or anything, i just couldnt handle life and i wanted to vanish. My mother wouldnt take that as a valid reason. I wanted to vanish to make their life better and i couldnt bear with the thought of her blaming herself. That is what stopped me.
Yes it would be sad if i died at such a young age yes, but i think the true horror of suicide is what it does to the people left behind.
I honestly think that someone who has gone through the downs of depression is a wiser person having full knowledge of how capable they are of breaking themselves down to pieces. One tip that i recieved from my experience was that maybe if the questions that you ask yourself or the statements that you make about your life make you feel like shit, then probably there is something wrong with the questions.
How often do you feed your own nihilisms. Everytime you water that parasite it flourishes. How often do you nod along. I think you have to realise that not speaking up doesnt mean you are nuetral, it means you accept.
I think the perfect example of what im trying to say is the harry potter expecto patronum spell.
Basically the dementors are the manifestation of depression and it shows the end point of that , which is you lose your soul.
Buut the expecto patronum charm is the only spell that can defeat them. A vivid imagination of the most beautiful moment of your life is channeled into wand lights.
I think really, its very easy to lose hope. I think anyone and everyone is doing that.
What if you are unwilling to let your patronus die.
Love (patronous) and hope is what makes people survive the impossable.
A personal example, after i passed through my depression and started going back into the world, i realised that i had forgotten about my future. I stopped thinking about it because the struggle was to last the day. Suddenly you dont know what your plans are for your life as it seems like you have just been born.
I had lost all hope, how do i recreate everything that i had in my personality that is now shattered. (Learning to walk again)
"Hope for the best in the long run and be microefficient right now." Gary Vaynerchuk.
Microefficiency is not living in the moment only and the hell with the future. It is a simple proposition, live your time to its maximum potential. Realise that if you think that you can change your life, the only thing left do is change it.
Change isnt an enemy, its evolution.
You must in my opinion start taking control of the most valueable organ you have and use your attention constantly rather than letting it fester.
Make art , write, play catch with the dog, try not let you brain rot. Keep your brain engaged so its ready when you need it.
I hope this helps someone in need as i personally know that these concepts were helpful to me.
Lorna Lamon on August 16, 2019:
Your journey with depression is felt deeply within this moving article. I treat people who are severely depressed and I know how soul destroying the cycle of depression can be for them. Your article is inspirational and extremely insightful. Thank you for sharing and reaching out to others who are suffering with depression.
Kathy Henderson from Pa on August 14, 2019:
I found your article very insightful and honest. I felt an understanding of the process of depression. While all of us have moments of sadness I have not been stuck in this battle. However, I know many who have. I believe your article will help some to better understand the process of depression. I also feel it gives a message of survival. You state a truth that one must care for the most valuable organ. Fuel it with purpose and keep on to change the world as a survivor and not a victim. For in a broken world we could all claim victim and death, or survivor and life. The second allows growth and legacy, the first is merely a period!