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Change Your Mindset Series: Stop Complaining

While I was meditating this idea came to me, which was I wanted to start a bit of self-help series of articles to help people through different areas of mental health. I wanted to share my experience over the years of trying different things that have helped me. One thing that I have noticed over the years is people love to complain, whether it's about their jobs or there a person they're in a relationship with, people are always complaining. We all know these people and we have had many interactions with them in the past. Sometimes all you want to say is "can you please just stop complaining come on already". I would like to take some time to maybe shine a light on why I think you should stop complaining and why I feel it can help in so many ways.


Why you do it

Let's start with why in my opinion people complain. If you can think back to a time when you were complaining, try if you can to imagine why you were doing it. Maybe you had a boss at work who was always on your case, and you took time while you were on lunch to complain to a colleague. This is probably a pretty universal one, one where you are venting frustration.

Frustration or the feeling of it is probably the most common one. Frustration is generally in my opinion some sort of defence mechanism. " I am not going to let them talk like to me" but instead confronting them you use this defence mechanism to go and complain about them to someone else. You take the easy way out or the most comfortable way out. You probably would never vent that way to your boss about how they were treating you because you don't want to hear what they will say. Being defensive I believe is one of the most common reasons why we complain. As soon as someone starts saying something we don't like and we immediately put our defensive stance that we take but we never take that stance for the most part to the person or situation we deemed caused it.

Ego is another big reason why we complain, it makes us feel good in some way to complain about that boss or spouse or that person you don't even know. The ego is in a way always looking to protect as I mentioned in the previous paragraph. Anytime something is uncomfortable the ego steps in and says "Nah we ain't having any of that". After that, the first thing we do is to complain that boss doesn't know how hard I work or my spouse just tries to tell me what to do all the time. The ego has no perspective, so it just goes straight to we need to protect ourselves, and let's find someone to complain to.

Frustration and ego are the two biggest reasons why people complain. People get frustrated when the boss says something to them because oftentimes there might be some deep truth to it. Truth can hurt, and when it hurts the ego steps in and tries to put an end to it. So instead of taking time to think to yourself maybe I am doing something wrong, the frustration of being told something you don't like leads to the ego becoming defensive which leads to that poor best friend hearing for the 100th time why you hate your boss.


What can change

Now that we know why we complain we can discuss why stopping the complaining is going to be so beneficial. Let's start with the most obvious one which is that people will stop thinking you're a complainer. All those times where you are telling them about how much you hate your boss or spouse or whatever it might be will come to end and your friends will thank you for it. People don't want to be around people that are always complaining. It just drags down the mood of every conversation and especially if you are someone how can feel energy or are very intuitive. Your relationships with other people will become much healthier, you will no longer have to waste time discussing these topics.

Next is your attitude towards yourself will improve. All the negatives thoughts that you have had towards people or situations will go away. From my experience in the past, this has been the biggest change. You start to have a positive outlook on life you do not carry around all this negative energy. People really can see and feel it and you will attract more positive people along with opportunities into your life.

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Finally, which I think might be the one thing that probably goes unnoticed is it can be very helpful to physical health. You might be thinking how can that be, well thoughts and emotions carry a resonance with them. If you are constantly in a state of complaining and being negative your body will manifest it in many different ways. I have always found that the biggest complainers are often the ones most sick. They always have something whether it's a cold, flu, or something more serious They then will often complain about that too and the circle goes around and around. Your thoughts and your actions are what you become and the more you think negatively the more you act that way.


Now the fun begins

Changing your mindset can have a huge impact on your life, from my experience it really has. When I realized that I probably spend too much time complaining about things that's when I realized that just changing your perspective to it can be helpful in so many ways. Stop complaining and before you know it your whole mindset will change and that's when the fun begins.

© 2021 Ryan c Harvey


Ryan c Harvey (author) on February 23, 2021:

Thank you, Ferd

Ferd Horus on February 23, 2021:

When you complain, you only feed energy into your problems. And that just makes them worse.

Solid hub mate.

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