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Breaking My Addiction to Being Me

Val offers his views on dogmatic aspects of cultural paradigm with its religious, political, and medical sterile indoctrinations and taboos.

Not an "escape" but a happy journey away from a world of needless suffering, animalism, and stupidity.

Not an "escape" but a happy journey away from a world of needless suffering, animalism, and stupidity.

The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.

-- Lao Tzu

A Weird Mental Athleticism

Let me guide you somewhat metaphorically towards my present intimate reality which I like describing as one of a mental athlete. I guess, that's what one becomes after some decades of a devoted practices like self-hypnosis, meditation, qigong, and self-applying the principles of sciences like epigenetics, neuroplasticity, quantum transformation, cardio-endocrinology, vibrational medicine and some guidelines in nutritional optimal maintenance.

I know, it all sounds weird and outlandish, but "outlandish" is the word that will appear relevant in my motivation to squeeze all those practices into an otherwise ordinary style of living, relating to others, and embracing my little list of standard human imperfections and flaws.

It has never been about a quest for some illusory perfection -- but all the crap of the cultural paradigm with stupidity claiming such an imposing role in our collective consciousness -- simply turned me off, inspiring for this mental athleticism.

In a vision of a better model of psycho-physical functioning, I caught myself nurturing this passion for alternative archaeology -- or better say -- that part of it where it is connecting with new findings in science of genetics.

It has been firmly established that a part of human genome has components which don't correspond to anything alive on this planet. Which gave a boost to some theorists of human origin to believe that homo sapiens was genetically engineered by an advanced space civilization in a very distant past.

As just a lay observer, I couldn't but recognize this incredible discrepancy in human behavior -- one side indicating some obvious animalistic traits, and the other, sort of divine, hinting at an avatar-like nature, with an assortment of geniuses and savants discovered here and there.

That could try to explain our genetic duality -- one side displaying animalistic arrogance, greed, need for a status of an "alpha in the pack", and territoriality -- and the other side expressing love, joy, creative curiosity, tendency toward harmonious coexistence, compassion, artistic traits, talents, plus the mentioned genius and savant mental feats.

I noticed that same duality in my own nature, so driven by a spiritual impulse from within, I set myself on this weird path of breaking the habit of acting out and experiencing that primordial primitivism, so prevalent among people.

In an intuitive vision, supported by vibrational medicine, I saw the frequencies of the "ape-mother Rhesus" outlouding those fine frequencies of our ET "paternal sperm donor" -- resulting with a species who has advanced in technology, but still can't shake off its tribal mentality.

My own spiritual path took its own twin-channeled character. In one sense, I am just an ordinary, everyday dude, friendly, loving my family, having spent decades working in industry and manufacture, playing cards with my friends, and kicking the shit around about politics.

The other part of me is very much prone to believe that I am not of this planet, and that's the part doing all that self-advancing crap, listening to Chopin's nocturnes, and "secretly" dominating within the hierarchy of my mental forces.

I could shamelessly say that I am the dude from that chosen path, not the autopilot programmed by society -- even though, in many aspects I am blending with the rest, well, for that warm feeling of "belonging'.

Finding a common "frequency" with others has become an art, more than just a skill.

Finding a common "frequency" with others has become an art, more than just a skill.

There are no great limits to growth because there are no limits of human intelligence, imagination, and wonder.

-- Ronald Reagan

A Strange, but Necessary Combination

To one degree or another, we all live a dual role in this world. One is of that intimate nature, and the other is public. So in that respect I am not seeing anything "schizoid" in my -- call it "esoteric" -- identity in its peaceful inner coexistence with my public image.

Those genes in my genome that I am upregulating through the skillful practices of principles of epigenetics, are the loudest in their expression -- albeit that expression is more or less invisible. Except that I haven't seen any doctors in over 16 years, some give me a decade less in age, and my behavior is crowned with calmness and tolerance.

And then I have this outlet of the mix of my genes in my satires that I write. As if pissed by the "human condition" and global idiocies, I am making fun of things in my writings.

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I enjoy exposing human intellectual laziness, their acting out their autopilot, their self-inflicted suffering, their downright brainwashed attachment to political, religious, and medical dogma.

There is this boyish, playful side of my mental athleticism, these eruptions of blissfulness and love for the world, so my satirizing is not coming from a pissed or mean attitude, but from a friendly, and inspirationally motivated teasing.

Two different inner worlds have to maintain a friendly coexistence, not one of colliding with each other.

Then it has its many odd moments where I don't become recognizable, definable, and I have to rush to find a remedy for it, usually allowing some self-mocking, as to let the people know that I am not playing anything like a "superiority card".

Back in those very first steps on my spiritual path, I got it very clear that "ego" was a tormenter, a jailer, and I didn't want to spend my life as a prisoner of a need to be "better".

Hence my lack of competitiveness. I don't even care for any sports, my TV viewing package doesn't contain a single channel with sport events. In my "book", competitiveness stems from insecurity, which needs to compensate with proofs of outdoing someone else.

I only compete with the yesteryear-me. Change is the leading principle in my life. I emigrated twice, lived at more than a dozen addresses, read over thousand non-fiction books on human nature, never satisfied with what I "knew", modified my "special regimen" every so often, twice closed my account at Hub Pages...

And in my literary opus you are bound to find some silly crap and some deep thoughts -- as I don't really give a rat's ass about my image of a writer.

And I'll use some semi-profanities along with some "long words" with Latin or Greek origin.

All in all, I love my versatile mental dynamism, my mediocre life success, my flaws, and the whole nurtured complexity of who I am.

And none of that would have been possible if long ago I had not started this breaking the addiction to be me.

They say "it takes alive fish to swim upstream". A dead one going downstream doesn't have to do any swimming.

They say "it takes alive fish to swim upstream". A dead one going downstream doesn't have to do any swimming.

Growth is the only evidence of life.

-- John Henry Newman

Why Break Addiction to Being Ourselves

Addiction is characterized by spontaneity, by allowing our programmed automatisms to run our show of life. People are so indoctrinated and brainwashed into a limited range of psycho-physical functioning, that "roboticism" could be an invented word to describe that.

Day-in, day-out they repeat the same thoughts, same emotional responses, same patterns of behavior -- and then they call it their "comfort zone", while they are trying their very best to prevent anything to disturb it.

It's like that definition of life saying: "Life is a constant struggle against sickness and death". While it may even make some sense on a cellular, biological level, when it comes as a model for a defensive living -- well, then it becomes a recipe for needless suffering.

The crazy part starts with our tendency to first complicate our life and then to frantically look for anything that will ensure some equilibrium. In some more eloquent words, first we fuck up our chances of enjoying life, then we try to un-fuck it -- by resorting to chemical crutches, overeating, sexual overexcitement, hoarding possessions, and "being better" than others -- albeit the list goes on and on.

As a last resort in this game of giving up our own responsibility, we expect our god to fix whatever we screwed up -- be it our health, our happiness, our relationship, or our losing that job and financial security.

We are so good at blaming our presidents, our bosses, our parents, our bad luck in life, even the star under which we were born -- while just replaying the same status quo and not seeing that all this time we have been at the source of it all.

When someone tries to point to us where we are working against our best interest, we are bound to call it "psychobabble".

That's the time to consider breaking the addiction to being ourselves.

Back there I was talking about the part of our nature that has some refined -- but animalistic -- traits. As we know it, animals are programmed by a complexity of survival instincts, with patterns of behavior and interpreting their environment.

We also have in our default mental makeup this ability to program our model of processing reality for our psycho-physical survival. As we reach adulthood, mental laziness kicks in, and we just repeat those reactive patterns -- now being mainly re-active, not pro-active.

I call it death of the spirit, as people identify with their autopilot, content that they don't have to think things over and give them possibly a new significance that's more life-promoting.

The whole cultural paradigm is but an autopilot in collective consciousness -- while religion, politics, medicine, and every other aspect of collective behavior is so evidently dogmatic, finite, not allowing for a next step in consciousness evolution.

Science and medicine and technology may be suggesting some progress, but the very quality of life is dragging its neurotic historical tail, with wars, wrong medicine, and mythological nature of religion.

That's why I refused to be a part of it, and that's why I am thinking out-of-box, creating my own emotional algorithms, in a constant process of inner change, not allowing my automatisms to consult me.

Benefits are enormous, and I won't go there, for this nagging thought that many would interpret it for just a shameless bragging.

So, here we come to the end of my odd story. I hope that at least some of you may have detected something inspirational within these words.

© 2022 Val Karas

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