What are alcohol blackouts?
Alcohol blackouts are periods of lost memory during times of alcohol intoxication. Although the terms blacking out and passing out are often interchanged and confused, passing out actually refers to a loss of consciousness, while people who later blackout on memories were fully conscious and often carried out complex events during the time of their memory blackout.
You can't blackout on memories formed while unconscious…there aren’t any to miss!
No one would know to look at an intoxicated person during a time of memory blackout that he or she was in fact in a memory blackout.
Fragmentary and Complete Blackouts
There are 2 types of alcohol induced blackouts – fragmentary and total. People who have experienced a fragmentary blackout may not recall the events of a period of intoxication until they are reminded or cued about them.
- "Remember jumping into the pool last night with your clothes on?"
- "Oh my, I'm starting to remember that now…I can’t believe I did that!"
People who have experienced a total blackout will not remember, even with memory cues, any of the events that occurred during the period of the memory blackout.
- "Remember jumping into the pool with your clothes on?"
- "What pool?"
Blackouts can last for hours or even days. Memory blackouts do not affect memories formed prior to the onset of drunkenness.
Why Does Alcohol Cause Blackouts?
Alcohol is a systematic drug that affects nearly all systems of the brain. The hippocampus, a primary area of memory formation and retrieval, is no exception.
What seems to happen is that alcohol disrupts the brain's ability to consolidate short term memories and process them into long term memories.
We have 3 types of memory.
- Process or immediate memory
- Short term memory
- Long term memory
Process memory lasts only a few seconds, and allows us to perform daily tasks with ease.
Short term memories are slightly more significant, and are stored in the brain for a few minutes.
Short term memories that are very significant, and that are "practiced or thought about quite a lot" are moved into long term storage.
Alcohol seems to block the brain's ability to take salient short term memories and move them into long term storage.
What this means is that since short term memory storage is unaffected, an intoxicated person can maintain a conversation as per normal (Where the flow of the conversation rarely demands that you recall facts for more than a few minutes) but if asked to recall events of an hour before, or the night before, the intoxicated person would have much more trouble.
Is the Occurrence of Blackouts a Sign of Alcoholism?
Much popular literature holds that alcohol blackouts are a warning sign of alcoholism. This is false.
While blackouts are a warning sign of binge drinking, there is no evidence that people who experience blackouts are at any increased risk to develop an alcohol addiction.
The mistaken belief that blackouts cause alcoholism seems to originate out of early research on blackouts that was performed using subjects from AA meetings. Since most AA members reported having had blackouts, it was concluded falsely that blackouts were a sign of alcoholism (Sort or like…since almost all AA members wear shoes – wearing shoes must be a sign of alcoholism!)
What Influences the Occurrence of Blackouts?
Blackouts, like memory in general, are a very poorly understood phenomenon. Research indicates that genetic variables influence the experience (Some people who drink at alcoholic levels never seem to experience blackouts) and the speed of onset of intoxication also seems to influence the occurrence.
The faster you drink, and the faster your blood alcohol level rises, the more likely you are to experience a blackout.
hello on August 08, 2015:
I went out last sunday, remember most of the night, but now 5 days later and having flashbacks about outrages conversations I could have had. Is it possible I'm making them up in my head?
Braxxonbraxx on March 22, 2014:
I'm a freshman in college and last semester I would drink a pretty good amount of alcohol, but this semester I basically quit drinking all together to focus on grades. Last week was spring break and me and some of my friends went to the beach. The first night I didn't really drink yet and I found out some horrible news about my family an handled it the wrong way and walked in the condo, downed half or right about half a solo cup of vodka and maybe 3 Jell-O shots and I went to the bedroom and laid down in the far bed with my arms crossed and my head at the foot of the bed. I woke up in the same position as I fell asleep and ha a towel thrown on me so I thought I passed out. The people I was with asked me if I remembered anything and I old them no, and they began to tell me stuff I supposively did that night. I'm sparing details, but hey basically told me I tried molesting the boy I liked . What they told me was stuff that I have never done before even completely drunk off my a** have never done before. I went in the bedroom last time I know of at about 9:20 and they said I passed out at 10:30-11.
My question to anybody is that can that alcohol cause a blackout to occur in 5 minutes or less? And if I was that drunk is it possible for me to make it to the far side of the bedroom and end up back in the same position that I first laid down?
Tom on April 04, 2013:
I used to suffer from the exact same thing, so I have decided to create an iPhone application called backtrack. It wont cure the feeling after a night out, but it uses your location and actions from your phone to piece together a time line for you. It's called backtrack and available on the App store for 0.69p. I hope it can help some people
will on October 22, 2012:
So i made out with a woman... that me and my gf were flirting with.My gf remembers it all, but i remember absolutely nothing... Now going on monday, every chance my GF of 5 years says she can't trust me and how disgusting of a person i am.. I have no guilt because i don't even remember this chick, i can't even remember what she looks like..I was told i was touching her all over etc... I don't remember any of this. I only remember leaving the bar and falling asleep on the couch... since i was locked out of the bedroom. So now i get this thrown in my face for the last 48 hours...... wtf? I have no guilt because i can't remember anything!! of course i don't tell her this (the no guilt part) just i can't remember... and she thinks i might be lying!
whatdidhappenlastnite' on October 22, 2012:
I dont remember shit about last night i dont remeber coming home, total blackout asked my friends "what did i do". Things that they said didnt come familiar to me at all. I drank 0.5liter vodka (40%volume) and 1.5liter of cider(5.6%volume). I'm 14, male, weight: 50.5kg. Did i drink too much for my weight???
leson007 on October 05, 2012:
well this is more of an outlet rather then going to aa so ill just tell my story.. what i remember that is.. i moved back in with my girlfriend(ex no) and things were ok for about 2 days one night she got mad at me cause before i moved back in i told her that i wasnt drinking anymore.... im a man so obviously im honest anyway the next morning i really dont even know what happend all i remember is getting an escort from the police to the hotel where i work while i was still totaly plasterd they let me stay here by the way... next thing i know is i go one day without drinking and night before last i couldnt help it anymore i got the shakes and was puking all over so i decided why not then that one drink turned into the whole bottle needless to say i dont even know what the hell happend and this is at my work!!!! no one will tell me anything that happend just from them knowing that it wasn me and they dont want me to feel bad but honestly it makes me wors eshort and sweet ending tomaro i go to my firt aa regardless of this post because my boss wont let me work unless i do imagine your friend and boss telling you to your face that your to dangerous and if you dont get help well get it for you
Andy on October 01, 2012:
Black outs are the most scary shit ever woke up on a bus in the wrong part of town, not knowing how i got there. Had a black out that must have lastef hours. Now I dont know if i should completely stop drinking or seriously cut down.
Holl on September 30, 2012:
I need to stop. I blackout and self harm. Next day i wake up dont know how i got home, covered in cuts, i want to stop drnking but if i have just one then thats it. I wont stop till im on the floor. And not drinking make me feel anti social and askward
rdcb on September 19, 2012:
I decided to quit drinking because I don't remember almost anything from the last time I drank, what I did or what happened, I woke up really scared at 5 am, my mom told me I returned home at 10:00 p.m., and I don't remember almost anything from 3 p.m. or something. I was drinking since 10:00 a.m. or something, very sad.
djtrouble on September 15, 2012:
This post made me realize I am not alone. Thank you for that. I have been a 'blackout' drinker since the very first drink I ever took as a teenager. I get intoxicated very quickly so I drink more but faster so people don't know how little it takes me to get drunk. But then I black out -not pass out but black out. I have no memory the next day of what happened. Last night I had about a bottle of wine - that is it - over a few hours - yet this morning I could not recall anything that happened after the second drink. I was social and carried on conversations my husband said, and did not appear to be falling down drunk - just a bit tipsy - yet still it's a complete blank to me. I used to think it meant I was an alcoholic but now after reading this I guess just some people are pre-disposed to this. BTW my mom did drink, smoke and take prescription drugs when she was pregnant with me (way back in the early 70s) so maybe this is the cause of my blackouts when drinking?
Some girl:) on July 01, 2012:
So I was at my sister's house and we were drinking. Well of course I was going to get shit faced, and had already made up my mind. I finished two and a half 4 locos in about an hour. My home girl told me all what happened the next morning and still dont recall any of it. I had bruises and scrapes. Apoarently I fell off the porch. Pretty wicked night.
Jerry on June 11, 2012:
Look, alcohol's a poison. The whole point of drinking it is to damage your internal workings to some degree. That's what a buzz is. That's what everyone likes about it. The more you drink, the more damage you do -- this should come as no surprise to anyone.
With that in mind, I think it's ridiculous that some people are labeled as "abusers" for drinking 6-8 glasses of poison and others are "sensible" for stopping after 2. If you drink enough to incapacitate yourself, you don't have a "disease," and you're not a menace to society. You drank too much poison and your body couldn't handle it. That's all that happened. It's not really a big deal in and of itself.
Problems only arise when you lack accountability for your actions. If you're routinely getting drunk and peeing on your roommate's clothes, well, how long would he/she put up with that if you weren't drunk? Once? Zero times? Same goes for cheating on your loved ones, getting in fights, or doing anything else that people don't like.
If you put everything back into perspective, and understand that you're still responsible for yourself, even while poisoned, all of this other crap takes care of itself. Just be honest with yourself about it, and make sure you maintain your accountability. That's the bottom line, and it's all that really matters.
Fan on June 10, 2012:
This has been an interesting post. I have this problem, and have had it since I started drinking over ten years ago. I tend to blackout when I start drinking the stronger spirits.
I embarrass myself, by shouting, being aggressive, being rude and inappropriate with girls.
I had a bad experience recently, which I told my girlfriend about, and I have resolved to stop drinking once and for all. I have to accept I have a problem, but despite the social emphasis on drinking I feel for my own pride and in respect to those around me that I should give up.
jeremy on June 03, 2012:
My Name is JEREMY.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our weeding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..i lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to GREATORACLETEMPLESOLUTION@LIVE.COM i cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck email@example.com
PearlofaGirl on May 18, 2012:
So nice to feel not alone in this. Tired of that nervous feeling when I wake up and have to check my phone, texts, fb, etc to see if i've sent anything inappropriate. Hate hearing from friends or co-workers about things I did b/c their stories are always cryptic. I, like many here, started blacking out when I starting taking anti-anxiety medicine. Wondering if it will be bettter when I'm off of them; Sad that I have lost friends, relationships because of stuff that happened during blackouts. In some of those instances, the relationships were probably not healthy anyway, but b/c of my monsterish meanness in the blackout, i feel like i pushed them further way and made it difficult to reconcile... ughhh -- i dont like the all/nothing aspect of AA but i do need to get control over this...
YaKnow on May 11, 2012:
Blackouts are something weird. The craziest thing was my friend telling me that we had all gotten thrown out of the bar. Then remember bits and pieces... The walk to the next bar (don't remember what happened at that bar), Talking to some random girls (waking up with text messages from unknown people).
I've realized that the longer my ride is from partying, the less I blackout. I don't know if this makes sense to people who don't live in NYC. Possibly the long train ride? I don't know, but sometimes I'll fall asleep on the subway - not remember even getting on - wake up (miss my stop) get off randomly and start walking home.
My memories only return as I'm walking home. It's crazy. Like coming out of some sort of twilight zone.
Distressed on May 07, 2012:
Reading this is really helping me figure out my situation. Since about November last year I've been having blackouts almost every time I drink. It had happened before then but as of lately it is getting so much worse. I've started doing stupid things and can't remember a single thing. Then having arguments with friends and now even the police I am determined not to admit I don't remember as I am ashamed and think 'how can you just forget'. It really never made sense to me before! I tend to be the one hosting the parties and organising the games, always finding myself drinking insanely fast, but now it seems that when I say no and try to drink slow I get pressured. I can't just tell people I am scared of what I will do. I'm just glad I'm not alone.
drunken lout on April 20, 2012:
When I black out, I can hold a pretty straight conversation with people. I can gain entry into venues, I can keep buying drinks at the bar (and not be refused due to being too intoxicated), I can dribble bullshit stories to people (telling lies, lies and more lies), make decisions & take actions that I would never even remotely consider doing whilst not blacked out. The next morning I wake up in my bed and don't remember a the last 5+ hours of the previous night. If i don't end up home in bed - I usually snap out of it by the early hours of the morning (still drunk as a pirate) after all sort of shit has happened while blacked out.
And you know what - it only keeps occuring more regularly and regularly.
Until I speak to a friend I was with the next day, and have to be reminded of what tom foolery occured the previous night.
I hate blacking out. And it only keeps occurring more and more.
I know the theory on the cause of blackouts isn't solid - but if there's one thing to go by from personal experience; I think themore regularly you drink heavily (say, every single weekend) the more blackouts are going to hit you.
Try and have a break. Give yourself a few weeks off.
You can take the customary advice from everyone in 'drinking a little more responsibly' - have a glass of water between a few drinks, have a big bite to eat while drinking... blah blah blah. Who the fuck wants to do that when you are having a good time with all your buddies...???
Everybody is different. When I drink with my friends, I drink exactly the same amount at the exact same pace. I'll be hit with a blackout - and the other 3 out of 4 friends wont.
I myself am going to have a good few weeks break. No booze. But I refuse to remove alcohol from my life completely.
I do not consider myself an alcoholic. I personally know alcoholics who drink every single day - a box (or two) of wine for breakfast, lunch and dinner + two packets of cigarettes a day. That is what i consider an alcoholic.
Anyhow. Good luck all.
upset on April 19, 2012:
I am 21 years old and i havnt really drank that much. On a few occasions I have blacked out before but I usually just act like an exaggerated innocent version of myself. I dont have sex with people casuaully it really freaks me out...even this one guy i have always had a crush on, he tries to sleep with me like once a week once we go out and get drunk and i always say no.....even though i would really like to engage at the time. Its just not the kind of girl I am . So thats the intro to my story...the other night i went out and i will admit that i had too much to drink, i then left with a recent mutual friend and all of his roomates to play cards at thier house. Then i vaguely remember making out with someone and being really uncomfortable and wanting to stop. Then i came to and drove myself home after having to ask where i was.... So the next morning i realized i had blacked out for like 3 hours and i asked one guy to fill me in. He said we were playing cards then we watched a movie and hit it off and had sex...... I thought he was joking with me...this was the first night I had met him and I have never had a one night stand before as i wrote earlier....it creeps me out to have strangers even touch me. He said he didnt know i was drunk adn that he thought it was consentual.......i was feeling really guilty so i didnt question him. But the more i can piece together the more i fear he took advantage of me. I have a text that i sent to a freind saying that i really wanted to leave (this was before the event happened)and I remember trying to leave and he said i wansnt in any state to drive(doesnt this imply he knows im drunk). And then i think of the making out memory where i was in pain(i think he was just starting to penetrate me in a few different ways )and me not wanting to continue...Also I am 21 5'7" and 130lbs i am not trying to be vain but i am attractive....he was 30 obese unattractive and dorky .....im not shallow but if i ever was interested in someone liek that it probably wouldnt be sexuall Like i said before i get drunk constantly with my high school crush(that im still obsessed with) and it never escalates to sex,it gets close but i ALWAYS say im not ready.....It doesnt feel right.Does this sound like rape? the more i think about it the more I know i was atleast taken advantage of :( ......I know i put myself in this position. I guess i just need to learn from it and be more careful. And I dont think i will be driking any time soon...
Me on April 19, 2012:
Wow thanks for sharing ur stories people... We all have something in common indeed...
anon on April 11, 2012:
I want to thank everyone for sharing. There is very little out there about black outs and even this blog is new to me. I have been dealing with this for over 10 years now and I am only 25. :(
I have found that therapy helps if you are not an alcoholic, meaning you are not addicted, but sometimes binge to the point of partial or total black outs. Educate yourself and surround yourself with people who care about you and will not tolerate your crazy drunk ass.
I have had a HUGE wake up call that made me never want to black out again. It really is a mind over matter thing. I am able to consume a large amount of alcohol without throwing up, which I am sure is all of our issues. My wake up call unfortunately involves the drowning of my fathers fiance on New Years Eve because they were drunk together at a hotel with a pool. My dad has no idea how it happened because he was asleep. But we now have to visit his fiance in a nursing home and watch her on a ventilator in a semi conscious state. That could have been me any of the nights that I blacked out. Don't let it get to that. AA is depressing, I do not recommend it. But be honest with yourself and your family and friends and have a plan when you go out to drink. Don't put yourselves in a situation where you are endangering your life. It is too rare and precious.
That said, I blacked out last night. Partially. I remember being angry because I lost my phone, but I don't mind. I am glad I am alive. And regret the fact that I let it happen again deeply. Regret is good sometimes, to feel pain because you care. But don't let that pain remind you that you did bad, let it remind you that you can do better.
Rebekah on April 05, 2012:
I wonder, how many of you take anti depressants? I find that this started happening to me everytime I drink since I've started taking them.
anon on March 19, 2012:
I'm a girl, 19 years old at uni and have found that I am getting blackouts almost everytime I go out.. I go out about 2/3 times a week. I usually drink vodka and alot of it, i dont know when to stop. The things I have done when drunk and can't remember inclue: kissed 5 guys in one night, slept with a guy who I hated,often walk back from the club (its a good 2/3 miles), passed out on the side of the road and got taken home by a pizza delievery man, argued with friends for stupid reasons, told everyone my biggest secrets etc. I am usually quite shy, but when i'm drunk the most confident (and probably annoying) person. I am starting to worry now as keep waking up in my bed the next morning with no recollection of even being in the club.
But my friends always say they never realised I was that drunk, as I didnt stumble or slur my words at all. I really don't want to stop drinking :(
water on March 07, 2012:
Guys. I myself have had a couple of blackouts that I am not proud of. We live and learn. Quitting alcohol is not easy, so if you go on a drinking spree. I suggest a ratio of 2 glasses of water per glass of alcohol. It helps. We need to learn self control. Drink in moderation. Drinking is hella fun. But waking up the next morning all paranoid and texting all your friends " wtf did I do last nigh" is not fun
Teal on February 21, 2012:
(21 Male) Last Friday went to the bar with my friend. I remember having 3 drinks. Then friend saying paying for the tab. I woke up Saturday around 0600 in my bed.
I walked home with my friend. Or so he tells me. I have no knowage of this. So from leaving the bar and walking home to me in my bed the next morning is a complete blank to me.
It's scary to think about and am glad had a good friend to watch over me. This has been a wake up call to me as it is my first blackout experience.
mortified on February 06, 2012:
well yesterday was superbowl sunday and we went to my brother in laws house where my hubbys favirite uncle was there and i hadn't seen him in years and i was so excited and remember taking 2 shots then remember yelling at my other brother in law then woke up this morning at home with a huge bruise on my back. apparently i went to the restroom and didnt pull up my pants and opened the door and walked out then fell dead weight flat on my back with my pants around my ankles. mortified. im not 21 anymore and should never drink hennessy again. sooo embarrased everyone saw except my brother in laws thank god. thank god my husband isnt mad either.
keith on February 05, 2012:
Everytime i go out i am terrified of whats to come.. I dread everytime and always tell my family and friends to keep an eye on me. I can relate to everyones post above. Everytime i go out i wake up either in a cell or in a strangers house. I take cocaine also as when i hit the drubken stage i feel the need for a perk me up. Being irish does not help either as its like a bloody tradition to drink over here. I like to have a drink and so does my partner, its gone to the stage now where i have to drink in my own house like an animal caged up for the night. I cant even remember when i go to bed its so bad. Im actually afraid of myself right now that some morning i will wake up in a cell with a charge for murder. I know your all thinking WELL GIVE IT UP THEN! I agree but its tough. Why cant i just go out , have a few beers and go home remembering everything the next day?? This is really getting to me lately, i need help!
Anon on January 29, 2012:
First, i have to confirm blackouts have nothing to do with being an alcoholic. I only drink socially, otherwise i never feel the urge to drink.
But at times, social drinking results in binging, and thats when i experience total blackout. It didnt bother me at first, because i apparently behaved normally till some days ago when i woke up and i was told i took a crap over all the house. Needless to say how embarrasing it was since i cant still even remember anything.
I have made up my mind to completely quit drinking or reduce it to the barest minimum.
Holahunnies on January 24, 2012:
I woke up this morning and went to class the gym and then class again. My dh wasn't answering my texts. I got home and found one of his undershirts ripped to shreds by the couch where I woke up at 4am b4 moving to bed. I said "sorry" In a text and he asked why so I pretended like it was sent to the wrong person. Why the hell would I rip his shirt up? I think I gave him a bj???? Should I ask? I'm kind of in the clear right now....
eric on January 24, 2012:
I read somewhere that the memory loss is due to a hormone in the brain that gets messed up from drinking. It said you can easily eliminate blackouts and improve memory in general by taking nasal sprays of Vasopressin every few days. Never got around to trying it, so I can't say for sure. I am sick of being reminded about what I did while I was drinking, so I might give it a try. Then again, maybe it is a benefit that some things stay forgotten?
Frustrated w/myself on January 23, 2012:
I can relate & sympathize w/ a lot of these posts. I have blacked out so many times thru all of my drinking yrs, that I have lost count. The next morning is always HORRIBLE b/c I never remember what i said, what i did, or if ppl are mad at me...it's just so embarassing & i feel so mad at myself for letting it happen yet again. I have made a complete ass out of myself @ get-togethers and i'm so embarassed when i have to go around these ppl again. I get frustrated with myself and it causes problems in my relationship b/c i say extrememly MEAN & hurtful things to my boyfriend, that i am sure leave scars in his mind(i've even punched him)...he always has broken up w/ me over these incidents, but ended up staying with me thru it..but it has been difficult. He even has called the cops on me once when i was drunk b/c i wouldn't leave. And it's horrible b/c i'm blacked out when these things happen and i only remember enough to know it was a bad night.
liz on January 15, 2012:
I got drunk last night work up fully dressed in bed and thought i had had a nightmare. i had gone to my neighbour's and drunk load of brandy and her friend turned up and i started on her as to why she had not rung me. She had my number from a funeral we both attended. my neighbour is old forgetful she said i was fine. But i managed to find the telephone number of her friend and rung to apologise for being so rude and how mortified i was. She was fine about it. But i am not letting her being fine about to get me off the hook. Cannot remember half i said. fine
Mike on January 08, 2012:
I black out pretty much every time i get very drunk. Knowing this people record me talking crap and i cant believe it when i watch it back the day after.
I had the worst black out ever last night and don't remember a thing after about 10pm. The very last thing i remember is having the strongest shot ever then waking up. There are photographs of me lying on the floor outside. I think i'm gonna stop getting silly drunk from now on.
Zane on January 03, 2012:
Far out, NYE i blacked out, Its usually on the big nights when you just smash it all down without a care or just having a good time... 6 hours of the night... gone...
Lesson: Always keep in the back of your mind... to not go all out! This will make you always take a step back from getting too hammered and you'll have a much better night that you can remember!
Fiona on December 31, 2011:
I had a black out on Christmas day. I can't remember a thing about what I said to my partners brother or his parents. I then drove home. Needless to say my partner is no longer so it must have been bad. I am going to get help as this seems to be occurring nearly every time I have a drink. I didn't even have any recall when I was confronted about it. I hate myself as this is not the type of person that I am.
mason on December 28, 2011:
I've done just about every horrible thing possible short of killing someone. I blackout pretty much every time I drink...even if its 2 beers. I have woken up with broken toes and fingers, I punched my husband and his friend in the face, I threw up over my balcony onto my neighbors head....I have to stop drinking I feel horrible and I'm sick of having to ask people the dreaded question, What did I do last night?
regretful on December 24, 2011:
I was at a Christmas party with my boyfriend and drank wine. I was fine until my boyfriend's friend poured me vodka. I don't remember anything after that except puking out the car door on the ride home. I woke up in my bed trying to remember saying goodbye to people but couldn't. My dad and sister told me that I was flirting a lot with my boyfriend's friend right in front of him. I called him and he said I was and is obviously pissed about it. I feel so bad. I used to think that blacking out was bs and the person was lying or using it as an excuse, but now I know it's real. I'm left with having to deal with the consequences. It's so creepy to have people tell u about things u did and said and have no recollection of it.
eatingwords on December 21, 2011:
meant black out, obviously... also, I hate this article because it encourages problem drinkers to think, "oh, it's okay that i"m blacking out and doing horrible things, cause I'm not an alcoholic..." what a bunch of crap, I feel sorry for the binge drinkers who are still in denial about their problem and read this. Who cares about the label? More importantly, how is excessive drinking affecting your life, or the life of someone you care about?
eatingwords on December 21, 2011:
Look, a black is dangerous to the person having it, and can also be to those around them. If you are blacking out all the time, you may have a more serious drinking problem. Just because you may not be a full blown alcoholic doesn't mean you don't have a problem that needs to addressed. AA's only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. If you've blacked out enough and done enough stupid things while drunk and in a black out, chances are you will get yourself to AA or some other program because eventually, you are likely to be in a lot of pain, or feeling a lot of shame. There are MANY different types of alcoholism. In my opinion, it's a miserable way to live...
K G on December 19, 2011:
Im so sick with worry :( I drank way too much quickly then decided I was hitting a club after my night out. I just remember saying bye to everyone and the next thing I rem is waiting in a taxi queue to go home I think? And then I woke up. Im so worried i don't know how i got into town as the money i left with was still in tact when i got home? What if someone has took advantage of me??? IS there any signs I could tell by? Nothing was missing when I got home it seems....and no stains or anything on my dress etc. But I can't be so sure if nothing happened if some guy saw me or picked me up in his car and drove me into town who knows what could have happened?!?!?
CK on December 18, 2011:
I started drinking very fast and was angry about things, this didn't help as you lose control of reality. I went down town, allegedly and have NO recollection of going. Very scary feeling, I know I'm a sensible guy at times and know I would never get mad, but to not know the nights events have seriously given me a wake up call. My life will change from now.
pat on December 13, 2011:
I went out last weekend with 3 of my friends while been at the club I remember everything even when we went to her house to keep drinking more..I decided to drink wine after drinking like 5 beers. I was talkin to my friend about my ex when I was gone and from there I can't remember anything at all how I got home and I ask my friend and she won't telle what happen..I feel bad cuz I can't believe that happen to me I guess my boyfriend and I broke up and he won't talk to me anymore.
Laura on December 09, 2011:
Does ANYONE know what it means if someone forgets the memory of their significant other while extremely drunk?! My boyfriend had no idea who I was at thee end of our night out and this memory loss lasted 4 hours.. we live together and have been together for a year plus have known each other since grade school. It was as if the last year didn't happen in his head! No he was not on any drugs at all. No website has given me any legitimate answers! Any possible reasonings would be helpful! Thanks!
Torres on December 06, 2011:
I experience Total Blackouts after having a number of drinks. Intervals, ie 5 drinks in one hour probably due have more of an impact.
The odd part is that I act normal. My friend's around me may not even be aware of the intensity of my intoxication. I'm wondering how much damage am I doing to my body. I know it does damage the brain but how much.
Compared to falling over from skiing, sneezing, a migraine.
Ebony on December 04, 2011:
I'm a sophmore in high school,135 poundz and 5'6.I don't know what to do...So last night i got drunk af and only remember up to a point...and i woke this morning in my bed with diff clothes on and all tagged up and bruises i'm scared shitless. :/ Im kind of a heavy weight and didn't think i was gunna get too drunk,Between me and a friend i was sharin a G with i had about 1/2 of the bottle and smoked a bowl..I don't know why or how but almost everytime i drink i drink to the point i blackout. or i'll fall asleep then someone wakes me up and i don't remember a thing. Its gotten me into a lot of trouble. I hate it i'll sit there trying my hardest to remember. Or the ppl i party with will tell me shit ive done nd not remembering, it really bugs me but i never can remember. But i know i aint a alki but in my family we have quite a few includin my mom who is a recovering alcoholic,but whenever she drinks she lets me have a beer or two with her, does this mean i will too? or do i have a highher chance? I just want to drink but not to the point of gettin too faded. Is there a way to snap someone out of blank mode? I just need an ansawer, please help me out here
HF on December 03, 2011:
When I start drinking I rarely stop, and because of this I blackout very frequently when drunk. Recently there have been quite a few incidents where I have done things completely out of character (caused property damage, been inappropriate with girls, insulted family and friends). I think I need to get the idea out of my head that alcohol is for getting drunk. Personally I believe my drinking is an act of escapism, since I'm not exactly at a great point in my life and I hide many things. Alcohol is a social lubricant but at the moment it seems to be destroying all of my relationships with people I care about. What is even more devastating is worrying about the fact that some people heavily judge me on what I did during those blackouts. I am not saying blacking out is a 'get out of jail free' card, nor am I refusing to take responsibility for my actions. At the end of the day I had no idea what I was doing, I had literally poisoned myself to the point where I couldn't consciously decide morally on my actions and their outcomes. I don't believe I am an alcoholic, so in the future instead of getting wasted quite quickly, I'm going to take the advice from this thread and drink slower, and not to 'get drunk'. If any of the people I disrespected ever read this, I want you to know I'm deeply sorry.
anon on November 30, 2011:
On exchange, Been blacking out almost daily, sometimes like 10 days in a row, funny thing about it is I can still hold good conversations and charm people and stuff. Just wanted to say two things. Firstly, let everyone know that you blackout. It's helpful because your mates don't expect you to remember things or give you a helping hand on a night when they think you might already be in blackout. Secondly, in terms of this fear people have after blacking out, one thing I have noticed is that after blackout I cannot distinguish between dream and real life. Things I dream I think may have actually happened when in fact they didn't. same with things I imagine. For example, if when I'm out I imagine having a fight with someone, or I imagine sleeping with a girl, and then I proceed to black out, sometimes the visualisation i previously had seems like a memory, and I think, yeah, maybe I was in a fight, or maybe I did sleep with that girl. So basically, unless someone tells you you did something bad, you could easily just be feeling guilty about a dream or a thought. Good luck all!
aprilisme on November 29, 2011:
Iam 24yrs old and hate myself becuase I have been drinking a whole lot lately and can relate to a lot of the comments posted....the worst thing I have did was lie, then realizing it......now im embarrased.....hasa nyone offended someone who is incredibly bigger than yourself? then cannot look them in the eye or avaoid contact with them when u see them? I live unfortunately in a small town so everyone knows everyone, I am about 120 lbs while on the other hand the person i had offended was my babysitters mother.......I was telling some people at a party that I think my boyfriend slept with the babysitter now im embarrassed, and he was totally mad. I needed to tell someone, because it is bugging me. because I know its not true but I don't understand how i could lie sometimes for no reason.
teejay on November 28, 2011:
how can you tell the diffrence between having a blackout and being drugged???
HM on November 26, 2011:
I've never been one to get blackouts when drunk, but recently I've been getting really major ones, when drinking wine.
It's got to the point that I woke up this morning, and my ex was in my bed, and I barely remember meeting up with him, and I don't remember having sex with him at all (and apparently it was incredible sex, which is quite annoying). It worries me that if he hadn't been there in the morning, I wouldn't have even known I'd had sex, and I just thank god that it was him and not some randomer.
AR on November 24, 2011:
Reading through all these posts, I sympathize with all of you. I go through 1-2 blackout episodes a year. Most of them have been with friends who have let it slide, but the last two have been with business colleagues. Took me a year to make up for the incident last year, and I did it again two nights ago. Antagonized a lot of colleagues, ratted out people who have committed ethical violations and have been agonizing about the incident ever since. I've realized I can't hold my drinks or enjoy them responsibly anymore, even if I'm getting drunk only once a year. It's gonna take me a long time to get my dignity back - no more alcohol for me. Forgiving yourself is the hardest thing - especially when drinks make you something you're not. Unfortunately, you can't go back in time to correct your mistakes. I only hope not to repeat them again. Happy Thanksgiving!
Scott on November 21, 2011:
Cherrs Russel reading your comments made me feel better. Also 5 weeks have passed and I have moved on from the whole episode. Luckily using the power of technology I was able to track my movements (card transactions and calls made) and now I'm pretty sure nothing of any significance happened.
So to sum up it appears your brain can play nasty tricks on you. It has really scared me and I have taken it on board and have slowed right down. I have a wife and a son and I need to set a good example.
DWI on November 15, 2011:
I am turning 40 soon, and recently was arrested for DWI. I am so ashamed as this is my second time The first one was 3 yrs ago, and I thought I had a handle on it. What's crazy is that I don't get drunk often. I'll have a few drinks with friends on the weekends but rarely getting drunk. In fact, In an average year, I would get drunk maybe 3x.
Unfortunately I live about an hr from where I was raised and many of my friends still get together. So when I go to hang out, I have always been able to watch my drinking and get home safe. In many cases I would crash there, or stop many many hours before heading home, etc. The first time I was taken in, was a shocking event for me. I immediately cut back on my hanging out, drinking, etc. And eventually I guess I chalked it about to me having to drive a long distance and making a bad decision, etc. So over time I resumed normal behavior which again, is not really drinking heavily. Then over the past year(2011) I have had to do some traveling. And since I wasn't driving, what has happened is that I have started having black outs, and acting like an asshole. What has been really confusing me is that there will be a 2-3 month gap between trips. And within that gap, I will have had a beer here and there. Maybe a few glasses of wine with dinner, etc. And no problem. All very spread out and not often. But then when I would go away, I guess I would binge drink and then black out. Well recently I was arrested again. Wasn't driving all over the road, no accident, but was speeding 10 miles over the limit. Obviously I deserve whatever penalty I get and I am just glad I didn't hurt anyone or myself. Again, I am so ashamed with this.
I guess my interpretation of a drunk was always someone who needed to drink every day. But, I could easily go a month without a single drink, (and have gone that long) but then when the environment is 'Right'....I will drink too much too soon, resulting in a blackout and then me acting like an asshole and obviously feeling like I can drive.
Next step is to speak to an AA counselor and get a handle on this, so that I understand the pattern better. Again, I have drank my whole life and never experienced what I am now. Blacking out is very new, and shocking for me because I don't really drink often.
Brock on November 11, 2011:
I have blacked out many times (am 43) and been drinking since i was a teenager. Black out usually when I drink far too much (although I can drink far too much and not black out). I don't change personality, get aggressive or say anything I regret, although I do share personal things that I wish I hadn't! t's scary to black out but only because of safety.
Paul on November 05, 2011:
Paul on November 05, 2011:
Paul on November 01, 2011:
the last couple of times ive drank ive blacked out and don't remember anything the last time was saturday night when all was well then i was told something nasty about my girlfriend that sober i would have laught at but it brewed and i lost it smashed up the house said some awful things to my girl friend that i don't think or belive and ended up fighting with a good friend all of which i don't remember and im really close to losing my girlfriend who i adore and want to marry i think she is starting to hate me and i don't blame her, she says its not the drink its how much i think it be best to stop drinking can anybody give me any advice and you don't need to tell me im a plank but i need to do all i can to save our relationship and show i wont let her down again
Russel on November 01, 2011:
I totally relate. Actually this has just started happening to me lately. I like a beer and I like a nice cocktail occasionally and like you I am generally a nice person. As a matter of fact I am told by others that I am too nice. Before about a month ago the last time that I blacked out was a few years, I've been really drunk but I've never lost time before. Anyhow, on this occasion I think there was only a brief bit of time I don't remember and nobody really told me I was abrasive with one exception, my friends old roommate. Evidently I confided in her that I thought my good friend (her old roommate) was pretty much a hooker. Well the thing is that at this point I had only drank beer and hadn't had anything to drink for oh about an hour and a half, I clearly remember this conversation and know that I didn't say this but nonetheless it put some real doubt in my mind about the rest of the night.
Well, I abstained from drinking for some time until this last weekend when I went back to my hometown for a few days (3,000 miles away). I got piss drunk with my buddies and went to the only bar in town. I lost track of time somewhere in the bar but remember just bits and pieces. Most of the pieces I remember I was actually pretty calm but it's the uncertainty of not knowing for sure what happened that makes me a little crazy.
Speaking to mind tricks, my mind has convinced me that I text messaged my friend and reaffirmed that I thought she was a hooker, posted something worse on facebook and likely sent out a school wide email while drunk. I checked my cell phone the next morning and thankfully I didn't send any messages nor did I make any phone calls and as far as I could tell no emails or facebook messages were created. I didn't trust myself though and actually checked my recent usage on my cell phone plan to confirm that I didn't just delete the evidence (why I would delete the evidence I don't know). Anyhow even after I confirmed this, I still think that I must have used a friends computer or cell phone to call or send the message. Yeah, do you think this sounds paranoid or what? On top of these worries I'm pretty well convinced that I must have picked a fight with someone at the bar or done something even more disgusting. I should note that I do have a blackeye from that night and it was from a punching match with a friend. Oddly enough though I remember that event (he doesn't) and we actually immediately laughed and ended up drinking gin on my friends blood covered floor. Eh, it's good for a laugh.
On the flight and since I have returned I continue to convince myself that I did something really wrong. Why are my friends being so nice to me? Why does it SEEM like people at school are acting weird towards me?
Anyhow Scott, I totally get what you are saying and have come to the following conclusion for myself. I'm typically a very nice person and no matter how drunk on whiskey I get and how much underlying stress or machismo exists, there still has to be one brain cell left suggesting I stay the course. I didn't wake up in jail, I had all my credit cards and with the exception of an explainable shiner, I have no signs of violence. Additionally my friends still talk to me and wanted to hang out again while I was in town. So I don't think I did anything that bad. As for the remorse, it's because I am a nice guy and am easily embarrassed so just the inkling that I may have done something regretful causes me pain. Additionally, I've also come to the realization that beyond community functions, most of the people in the bar in my hometown or other places likely aren't in a position to be good judges of character. Those that go to a bar just to watch the action are ok but they should be silent once they leave the bar. Those are the ones that get you, the "chatty cathys". Anyhow, I've babbled long enough. The long and short of it is that yes there are people that get the same remorse and I feel a lot better after writing this.
Travis on October 23, 2011:
Blackouts don't only happen to alcoholics. I don't remember a thing that happened friday night even though I was told all about it the next day. Friday was the first time I had ever had alcohol.
Scott on October 16, 2011:
I went out last night with some friends and got really drunk I left the club at 10:45 and didn't get home until 11:45 (according to my wife) and I had totally lost the hour and have no idea how I got home. My house is a 30-40 minute walk or 10 min taxi ride.
I have no cuts and bruises, or aches or anything. all I know is that I went to a cash machine and took out some money (by looking on line)
All I keep thinking is how did I get home and did anything happen...my Brain keeps playing tricks on me like could i have I had a fight or attacked someone or smashed something up or insulted people.
I'm generally a nice bloke these things are really not in my nature.
Does anyone else's brain play tricks on them and think the worst.....surely you would remember something really significant?
Mike on October 15, 2011:
This happened to me last night, however when i blacked out, Ive been told i was very different. I was yelling a lot and been very aggressive. I was a completely different person. I do not remember a thing either. One of the scariest and embarassing nights of my life.
anon on October 13, 2011:
thank you this has enlightened my views, last weekend i had a black out i remember up to the point where im drinking with a few friends and waking up naked in my room with everything i was wearing missing and a towel that i have no idea where it came from and numerous cuts and bruises covering my body. a few of the girls that were there told me i was flirting with them and iv had other memory cues from people that were there but i cannot recall any of the events. is it possible to remember any of this or is it all gone with that night and the person generous enough to give a naked man a towel ?
terry on October 03, 2011:
i get blackouts all the time now 5 pints and im gone and it don't come back.i like stoped drinkin for a year but up to that time i could have 10 drinks and a great night had.now its 5 pints and i cant look at anybody.tink ill just pack it in no fun any more.
simon on October 02, 2011:
yesterday i went to a bar and after drinking from ther i felt asleep and don't remember nothing. so some one put something in my dring and intosicated me ?
herpderp on September 30, 2011:
You guys are so boring....If you don't like people who drink then don't spend time with them. Don't condemn everyone who drinks to have a good time : /
Anonymous on September 12, 2011:
I use to be a party animal but not now If I only have a few drinks like jack and coke 3 of them I blackout, Don't do that much that's really silly but hate that I cant remember even if I`m at home having a drink I do the same blackout gone. I`m told I just get on like myself just talk a lot it is now scaring me. I love to have a wee drink but hate the not remembering. Just reading some of these post has made me more worried than ever. Think the only thing to do is to stop drinking. Thanks people.
Anonymous on September 07, 2011:
Oh I forgot to add that night I woke up with bruises and scabs throughout my body cuts and bumps on my skull. It was so scary I even got in to a physical fight with an ex where he choked me and I was gasping for air! There are so many things I can keep on going about
Anonymous on September 07, 2011:
My family has alcohol problems and I guess I kinda do too. Before reading this I didn't think I had a problem I just like to drink. I've been drinking since 14 (now) 19 I've done soooooooo many things I'm ashamed of. While drinking I'd do drugs, etc. There were even times when people spiked my drink. I've slept with people I can't remember I've said hurtful things to my loved ones. I've passed out on the middle of a road. I completely wrecked my room Woke up and there was broken glass and throw up everywhere. But most recently was the worst. You would think I'd learn the first time? I didn't this was the most horrible thing that could happen to me. I went out with several friends and we were all drunk. I continued drinking more and went who knows where with who knows who. I was far away from home couldn't walk or talk apparently. I was found the next morning passed out on a street. Who knows what could've happened to me! To my knowledge nothing did, but then again I don't remember. I got robbed that night ambulance came then took me to the police station. When i woke up the next day i immediately checked my phone. I have gotten several numbers and talked to one in particular. Im scared to call & know what happened because i currently have a boyfriend and it would kill me if i found out i cheated. I've gotten to the point where I wake up and don't know how the hell ive gotten home. I run outside all the time to make sure I didn't wreck my car. I've gotten to the point where I've lost my keys and don't know how I got in my house. Lost diamond rings & earrings. Cheated on others. I only drink at home now because I do not trust others I've been taken advantage of so many times. This last month I've improved a lot. I used to drink everyday a lot. 2 or 3 bottles of wine 15 bottles of beer or about 10 or more shots of liquor. Now I am drinking 2 times a week and only with people I can trust. Blacking out is not good! We need to stop it is ruining our lives because who knows what can happen to us or do to others!!
phil on September 05, 2011:
guys can someone help?i had a blackout. i came home at 6.a.m and i can recall only a few "snapshots".i put money somewhere and i cant remember where?????
is there any way to recall easily?
i was searching the house almost day
p.s there is no way i lost them.i hid them somewhere
Karl on September 02, 2011:
stupid drunks. simply stop drinking. I hate you blacked out pathetic losers at clubs and concerts. You are responsible for all your actions even when you are drunk. Grow up.
Brandon on September 01, 2011:
alright I got a question. I had my first blackout a little while ago. I was wondering, how can person carry on with conversations and do stuff, without even realizing they're doing it? Its weird. Like people were telling me about some of the conversations I was having and the things I was doing.. Even when your doing other things such as alcohol. for example, i took pills one day(never will do again) and one of my friends was telling me that i was talking about coconuts and saying "I wonder if coconut trees grow in Colorado".
anonymous girls on August 29, 2011:
I really don't know what to do!..... I went out for a friends birthday Saturday evening starting with a quiet meal at 8pm. And i come home the next day, 9am, bare footed, unable to speak, in a state! The thing is this isn't unusual unfortunately. My friends give up on trying to keep up with me at a decent hour. I join other groups. Or go with some guy to an after club, someone else to another after after club, i can't seem to just say its time to go home, i never want the party to stop once i've started drinking. I guess being drunk or out of it lets me be rid of my inhibitions, i feel like a child again, no ties, no thoughts of bills or adult responsibilities, and i feel sexy for a split split second that i am in a happy drunk state in the club dancing with my friends confident and happy. BUT it ends horrifically. The times i look back and see how i've put my life in danger, i've never been raped from what i can think i remember from years of these nights out. But who knows! This can't go on! Sunday morning i come to my senses around 8am, i'm in some dodgy guys basement flat with all these scary characters about and the guys expecting me to sleep with him and i just run, like my life depends on it. Four hundred pound shoes i saved up for left, a friends jacket, my purse, phone the lot. I'm not thinking! A taxi picks me up and i can't speak, i'm trying to say things but they won't come out, i'm in tears at how i've got myself in this mess again. kindly the poor guy takes me to a police station where i'm so ashamed of my state after hours of trying to find out where i ran from and asking me if anything happened to me i don't want to get anyone in trouble its my own fault. They managed to get someone to bring me home. Now two days later i think i can go outside my door at least. I'm so ashamed! So many people would have seen me in a way i wouldn't dream them to see me in my day to day life. Men allover me. Probally drugs, drinking, without my shoes, out of it!! I can't let this go on. Its ruined friendships before because friends stop me going off to dodgy parties with strangers and I've argued rowed sworn at them to leave me alone. That i'm happy drunk and want to enjoy myself.
I know drink lets me forget my problems or feel like i have no worries and gives me confidence but i don't think i'm an alcoholic. I never really drink at home, while i know friends who will happily drink wine at home on their own, it doesn't interest me. I solely drink for social reasons. But i can't control it. I don't want to say i don't drink and not put myself in situations or environments where a glass of wine is involved at social engagements because this will really limit my social life. A drink at a group barbecue, a friends birthday meal, etc etc all these situations involve a drink to loosen up and join in the atmosphere. But i know it will never stop there, how can i control this? I wish i had a friend close enough to me to i don't know, go out with me and help me to learn to not do this. I need to keep control of it like everyone else. I feel like theres no way to make this work. It makes me so sad. Because i know in a few weeks i will be again in this same situation, messed up, embarrassed myself, not been able to control it.
Someone please tell if you have had a success story with this :(
londongirl on August 28, 2011:
if someone is blacking out on an increasingly frequent basis there is a problem.
of course most drinkers have had a night they haven't fully remembered, but it becomes a problem when one becomes unable to stop drinking into oblivion.
Just because alcohol is a legal drug does not mean it is not an addictive or dangerous drug.
s87 on August 27, 2011:
Just recently lost a good friend due to blacking out. Won't even tell me why just sent a text that my numbers been blocked. I think its unfair that some people can drink so much and blackout and just fall asleep or not act like a complete ass. Guess some of us just weren;t meant to drink.
wowsa's on August 25, 2011:
We've all found this thread for a reason.. Sumthin to think about in itself. I'll admit I've had my share of blackouts never fun. These stories I've read them all have helped. My favorite piece of advice was changing your state of mind on your drinking habits, not setting your goal to get drunk but rather drink socially and slowly on a full stomach. I've been trying to figure out this rubics cube for years there's no simple answer. Quitting is one option I suppose. Best of luck to all. Cheers
beany1001 on August 25, 2011:
i just recently stopped drinking, mainly because of blackouts.
the storys people were telling me of what i did are emberassing to say the least, unable to walk, talk, fighting with any thing that moved and my atitude around woman while drunk was appaling. is there any tips anybody can give me to help take my mind away from drinking,all my friends tend to "live in the pub". i got myself an xbox for online gaming. but a games console has nothing on the social side of drinking. is there any thing i can do as a substitue to social drinking.
2bad on August 19, 2011:
I crashed my car while in a blackout and can only remember the impact and sound of the crash. I have been blacking out for 20 year.
BlackOutDejaVu on August 15, 2011:
There is a method to prevent blackouts. It is called self-control. It is very hard to achieve with alcoholism, though it is possible. Even if you're already to the point of extreme physical dependency, it is always possible to regain self-control...just not likely.
We're always looking for another way for much too long.
john on August 10, 2011:
any method known to try and prevent blackouts or minimise them?
jebus xvii on August 07, 2011:
so that's what happened last night....
Please make the right choice... on August 07, 2011:
My family has a long history of alcoholics. I remember my father was a good man when he was sober. He was a gifted speaker. A deacon at church. A drug and alcohol counselor. I remember him driving a green datsun on the red river at 50 mph with me in the bed of the truck crying. I remember each telephone visit with him behind the grease covered glass window at multiple prisons. I remember him loading a gun and shooting at my mother in our country kitchen. He tried to rob a store one night while he was drunk. Stuck a sawn-off in his pants with the safety off. He went to pull it on the clerk and blasted his own leg off. Doctors amputated everything below the knee. I remember the very last time he went to prison. He had me on his lap and he was crying. We could both hear the police sirens coming down the country road. I asked him, "Dad, why can't you quit drinking? If you know you're gonna get in trouble, why don't you stop?" He just shook his head and said he didn't know....He killed himself when I was 11 years old and I still don't know what was going through his head. When you have a drinking problem it affects everyone around you. You create your own personal hell. Regret is a powerful force. When you know you shouldn't continue, yet you still do, you are making a choice to let things get out of hand. I used to ask my mother when I was 10 or so if I was going to become an alcoholic. She said that was up to me. It is. It's up to me. It's up to all of YOU as well. It is a choice to drink. I'm not saying it's easy to quit. I'm not saying the desire won't be there after ten years of abstaining. You know if you have a problem. I know I do. I sit here at 4:20 a.m., age 24 now, drinking, typing this to all of you...and all I want to do is stop...I keep making the wrong choice. Please make the right choice...
Drunk? on August 01, 2011:
Yeah, i have been drinking since i was about 14. Im now 19 and its really getting out of hand. I would like to slow down immediately but when every one of my friends partys, its hard for me to keep a limit for myself. And that's when I end up blacking out and hearing all the stupid shit i did the next morning. Id like for everyone to be fine at a party without liquor. But hey i guess that's too much to ask.
sadandupset on August 01, 2011:
this happened to me last week at a family get together. I lost about 40 mins, but not all together. There were moments within the time that I remember, but other things I don't. I don't remember saying goodbye to anyone, but I do remember I was told that we were leaving. I am so upset that I id something stupid in front of my family. I only had 3 drinks, but it was mixed drinks which I never usually drink. Anyways I remember sitting there, then getting up to go to the bathroom, and this is where it gets fuzzy. It seems that as soon as I stood up the alcohol went straight to my head...I am struggling with trying to remember what I was saying or doing in that time frame.....I promise that I would never get drunk around my family because I don't want them to every see me drunk...however I feel that is exactly what happened.
namename on July 19, 2011:
this page was really helpful in not feeling alone with this problem, currently charged with felony property damage I don't remember doing. Sick. American prisons don't look fun and I'm half way through a degree in Ireland that will be wasted if I'm incarcerated in September. Not to mention the money this going to cost my broke ass. The shame is incredible. I sympathise with everyone who says it feels like they become someone else when they drink too much. Normally I'm calm and considerate but when I'm drunk I genuinely don't know what I'm like because I can't remember. Not only that but both Friday nights after said incident I blacked out again, thankfully no trouble but still scary that I have apparently learned nothing. Someone suggested I give up alcohol and try cannabis if I need a drug, this idea appeals to me but I'm worried I'll just be substituting one drug problem for another. Best of luck to everyone/anyone reading this with sorting yourselves out. I wouldn't recommend AA to anyone, but have no issue with anyone who thinks it helped them.
thecrow37 on July 18, 2011:
This past weekend there was a family event. Prior to this family event, I've had a serious of blackouts where the outcomes have been painful for me. They haven't been consecutive. It's been more like in the time frame of seven years if not less. I received a DUI, my parents came to pick me up in jail one time because I was picked up drunk (but not driving). One time, i woke up naked. I had no underwear and I was standing in front of my car when I came to. I look back to just those moments and I feel completely ashamed. In my mind, I said to myself, that's it. No more drinking like that! It doesn't feel right. However, this past weekend, I was with my boyfriend and my family. The entire family was having such a good time! Everybody was dancing and talking. But then, the following day came around and I realized that I had a few black outs through out the night. My boyfriend is very upset with me because he comes from a background where alcohol has brought a great deal of negativity. Knowing what my boyfriend has told me about his past and me knowing my past and having a recurrence of a moment I never thought I'd have again, makes me feel ill. He was very harsh with me the following morning. Now, I am afraid that because of my stupid behavior of not drinking responsibly that it might cost me my relationship. I talked to my family and my family for the most part seems to be ok. They said that we were all having a good time and that a few of us were drunk but that all was fine. Nothing to worry about. However, I do worry because I don't want to be a negative memory to my boyfriend. I have finally found someone worth being with and it seems that my destructive behavior crept up on me and now the consequences of it may be detrimental for me. I have to say that alcohol for whatever few times it has impacted me drastically has caused some emotional damaged. I have a belief that when blackouts occur. Whenever we can't refrain from drinking once we are buzzed is a sign of some past psychological trauma. For all of us that have come up with a story in here, we need to start healing. I feel like crap, i hate it but i need to love myself more. I hope he doesn't leave. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Dick on July 15, 2011:
the bad thing about Blackouts are, we don't remember if we ran someone off the road, or hit someone walking on the side of the road. Think about this before you drink and drive. I wonder sometimes what would I do if I found out that I killed someone during a drunk. I haven't drank now for 3 1/2 years.Blackouts aren't anything to jest about.
Jade on July 12, 2011:
I read all the posts and noticed that a lot of you are shy when sober, this seems to be a common denominator, but not all seemed shy. I am also a little shy normally and like to be slightly loosened up as much as possible. Unfortunately that does, and did, lead to alcoholism.
Another thing I noticed is the outcry for help in remembering and the need for help in dealing with what happened, and yet there are few helpful words posted just stories and experiences. That's human nature though. Let's see if I can do a little of both.
I don't know if there is a way to get those memories back but I am going to do a little more research to see if they are there, and just not linked for recall, or if they are gone completely. In my experience the only way to get them back is to have someone trigger them by filling in some gaps, then you can have flashes which can be short or long, you never know. So in answer to many of you, as painful as it may be, you have to go out and ask around, follow your own trail and put the pieces together, apologizing as you go.
Unfortunately, you can tell that I have had some experience in this area. I have always had the tendency to blackout when I drink too much. However it is not necessarily associated with bad behaviour. Just like any other drunken experience, sometimes I am an ass, idiot, flirt etc. and sometimes a comedian and fun drunk, and sometimes they tell me that they didn't even know I was drunk, just feeling good, but I still can't remember a thing (sometimes fragmented)! Normally I function as I normally would and make normal judgements and conversation but I just can't remember it in the morning. Even if I remember something from an hour before, after the alcohol hits me more, it's like my memory starts to erase backwards even.
A warning to all you fellow blackouts, I think there could be long term effects. My father drank regularly and started forgetting and then eventually it got worse and he's in a home now and doesn't remember anything, sometimes five minutes ago. I've noticed my all around memory is getting worse. It's scary. I am making a conscious effort to drink less and hopefully get it down to one drink at night before bed and never any more, except for dinner with friends and social stuff, maybe two drinks. I might have to quit completely and that scares me 'cause, like many of you, like I said, I am a little shy.
I could tell you tons of stories but wont, except for last night. It happened again (that's what prompted me to start searching). My wife and I went for dinner with friends and I had a coupe drinks before we left, because I was proud that I had gone all day without a drink, on my day off (you see we live in Mexico and every day seems like a celebration with all the tourists around, fiestas and Margaritas flying, beaches and crowds). Before we ate I had a shot of tequila and a glass of wine, we ordered a couple bottles so I had another with dinner. Now normally I can drink a bottle of Vodka myself and sometimes still remember everything, but I barely remember leaving the restaurant.
I definitely agree that it has to have something to do with the speed at which you consume the alcohol and how abrupt that is on your system, so I will never be able to do shots again or rush drinks, knowing where that will take me.
I also realize now from many of you that something shocking will be easier to remember, because this morning my wife told me I drove home but she thought something was up 'cause I first backed up into a stand-up metal blockade (I don't know what you'd call it, it's like a giant sawhorse made of steal). In my defence, it wasn't there when they told me where to park. I clearly remember hitting it, the loud noise it made and the attendants shouting. That's the last thing I remember.
I woke up this morning, wondering what to do with my second day off. You know, at first you don't really think to make a recall check, so I just moved forward with my morning. The cat is crying outside so my wife says let that stupid thing in, would you? Now I am checking to see if I am naked, wondering if we had sex, but I sleep naked a lot anyway. Now I realize that I don't remember going to bed. My wife seems really pissed at me and the cat so I said, "That #$%^ cat spoiled our morning I was going to put the moves on you." She says, "I don't think so, I am still pissed at you for last night!" Oh oh, here we go! What did I do. I guess I insisted on driving drunk and yelled at her for yelling at me about driving over the gaurd-rail thingy, and just acted like a total asshole. Apparently we had a vicious fight (verbally). Now since she wants to go back to sleep for a while, I thought I'd grab my computer but I can't find it. I asked her if she knew where it was and she told me it was in the spare room where I was sleeping. Flash, I have another memory! Oh yah, I went to, one of, our son's old room to be alone, or watch videos or smoke one of his cigarettes, who knows. So I go to the other room and sure enough there is my computer. When I look at the bed I have a flash of a picture in my mind. When I go on the computer I find I was watching some stupid Youtube video about flashing girls at Mardi Gras, and I remember watching it.
Thank god I'm married and thank god I came straight home because those are the conditions where I might do some really screwed up things if we still went to bars and stuff a lot still. I probably would have started a fight with someone and/or my wife and gone our separate ways and led to way more trouble. As it is, I guess I eventually passed out then came to, and went to bed with the wife. Sorry nothing exciting to tell, I just remember how dangerous it is under different circumstances. I have done some stupid things in the past, even spent a few nights in Jail in Mexico, no fun at all.
So what have we learned? Don't drink fast, don't drink too much or don't drink at all?!
If you want to remember, be your own detective, back-track, interview. Be aware it could lead to early memory failure, nobody wants to be that person! Thanks for listening, good luck.
MyEvilTwin on June 27, 2011:
I did the same sort of thing 3 weeks ago. I went to a wedding. drank far too much, upset the brige and grooms family and basically acted like a complete lush. I cannot remember a thing from 3pm onwards. You have to prove to yourself that you don't need booze. Have a month or longer off it. Don't dwell on what you have done because deep down you know that it wasn't how you usually behave. I HATE my evil twin with a passion and the only way to stop her making an appearance is to calm down the drinking...
blaqout on June 23, 2011:
I began drinking hitting the club scene early in life everything was fine then it got to the point of having (total) black outs one night at the club i was having drink after drink i was with my sister and a couple of her friends well the last thing i remember was standing near the womens restroom waiting for someone next thing you know im waking up in someones house that i totally didn't know there was a guy sleep on the couch and beer cans everywhere i looked for a phone and then left and used a payphone to call my sister to see what the hell happened she answered with a "what the hell happened to you last night we looked for you everywhere" to make a long story short i met a chick who was wasted she tried to take me to her place and ended up getting pulled over and went to jail for a dui the cops let me go and i guess i walked until i saw a party and crashed there cause i was few miles away from the club we were at and its a college student area so theres partys around all the time. till this day i still wonder what happened at that house and how i got there because my chest was sore also i don't drink like that anymore
mulagan d on June 22, 2011:
I have lost the girl i love because of my black out drinking. I become a completely different person. My anger goes through the roof and i will say the most awful things. Im not sure if there are things i am upset about and my subconscious takes over but it has ruined my life at the current time.
Helpme on June 14, 2011:
Blackouts are extremely scary. I woke up an hour ago (4:30 am) and literally don't remember how I got back to my hotel room and I'm at a work conference which is even scarier. I'm really good at my job, I've had a hell of a year where I changed jobs (not really at my own choosing). I moved away from family, friends, and my boyfriend who I love very much. I know that I am drinking to mask the pain of all of the hell, the changes, the harassment at my former job, and I don't know how to stop...I went to one AA meeting but literally I felt like I was in a room full of losers...not professionals trying to get sober and I'm not a 'joiner'... How can one overcome this on their own? I know that I need to stop, I am a single mother, I am sole support for my kids, I am terrified about what. This is/maybe doing to them and I'm sick of not knowing what I've done, who I've been with, or where I've been; it is terrifying.
painemichelle on June 08, 2011:
I was blacked out and only remember things on and off and for some reason I thought I did something really stupid but I don't know if that was my OCD brain making me think that way so I can fill in the blanks with my worst fears .. I first thought I was raped and continued to think so until i got my std test results back and they were all negative then that night i convinced myself i shot up with drugs .. I don't know if it was because i was in a bad part of town and may have seen someone do it but I imagined it was me and now am convinced I have hiv and every bad thing that could happen to me ... Is this just me making this up cause I have OCD and anxiety disorder and every time I drink or hang out with ppl that are using I swear I do it all .. i can picture it happening .. Has this happened to anyone else ?
johnny D on June 05, 2011:
@kmjohn88 trust me. it happens. I had my first (And hopefully last) blackout yesterday. You literally can't remember anything during the blackout period. supposedly I looked as sober as ever, but i honestly cant remember a single thing from that period of time. After that, I don't think ill be drinking any time soon.
kmjohn88 on May 29, 2011:
last night my boyfriend went out drinking with his mates. When he came home he was acting very strange it was obvious that he was drunk and I found it quite funny at first then he started shouting and talking nonsense. He got quite frustrated that I didn't understand what he was talking about and he became very aggressive, which caused a row between us. However this morning he woke up and does not even remember how he got home and any of the argument that we had. Is it possible for someone to forget so much or is he just faking it so that he doesn't have to face up to the way he acted? This sort of thing has happened many times before.
nick on May 26, 2011:
I Had Memory Loss for like 3 hours....and its like happening every month...No drinking atall can only save all of us.
boy4ever79 on May 24, 2011:
How can I try to remember my past drunkness on a particular night? I just remember piture like frames of the night. Someone help me remember!
Long Richard on May 21, 2011:
NY on May 01, 2011:
After last night, im never ever going to drink again
e on April 24, 2011:
i'm 28, female, and alcohol affects me really strangely. i have a tendency to black out without having consumed a lot of alcohol. it seems to be around 5 drinks when it happens(over the course of several hours).
it is very hard for people to tell when i'm drunk. i am normally more reserved and calm but when i drink i get happy and social, my friends never saw that as an issue, obviously, and people who don't know me usually would have no idea that i'm not normally so outgoing. i don't slur my speech, i don't stumble, nothing to tell an outsider i'd had too much. there have been several times when i've woken up, naked, not remembered getting home, and realized i don't remember several hours of the night out. when i ask my friends about it, they have said that i seemed very coherent and in control the whole time. bartenders and bouncers have said that i seemed totally fine. seems like each time it happens it gets worse.
last night was so upsetting. i was out with friends and an old ex boyfriend i'm still close to. drinking beer only, though pretty heavy beers. i remember the whole night at the bar, but not much after leaving and hanging at a friend's house for awhile. my ex boyfriend was driving and took us home at some point.
i woke up this morning in bed next to him, which seemed fine because we're still good friends (no couch for him to crash on in the living room so it made perfect sense, i thought we'd just slept). then i realized i was naked, i normally sleep naked so it wasn't too too weird, except that i wouldn't have done that normally with him in the bed with me. i started freaking out and asking him if we had sex, he looked shocked and said yes. i couldn't believe it and kept saying, "are you serious?! no, you're just messing with me!" finally i realized he was serious and i just lost it. started crying and apologizing.
this is so bad especially because he means a lot to me and i've thought of us reuniting sometime in the future when we're ready for it. i never would have had casual sex with him, other people maybe, but he means a lot to me and i never wanted to play around with that and treat it lightly. i felt like i had tainted a really good thing, cheapened something that was supposed to be meaningful.
of course he felt terrible, like he'd taken advantage of me. and i'm sure a little hurt, too, because i didn't remember anything. he told me how coherent i seemed, that he'd asked a couple times if i was sure i wanted to hook up, that i'd said, yes, let's.
this is really scary because obviously neither myself or anyone around me has any way of knowing how i'm doing. everyone thinks i'm fine, i think i'm fine. i hate this. i am definitely going to try to monitor better when i am drinking, maybe make sure i only have 3 and that my friends don't allow me to have more beyond that, even if i seem cold sober.
i do have some blood sugar issues, no offical diagnosis but i've always been sensitive to changes in my sugars, i get shaky pretty easily if i haven't eaten for a few hours, maybe reactive hypoglycemia (?). i wonder if this is related to why i black out so easily.
Annonymous on April 23, 2011:
I went out with my bf, his best friend and a girl his friend started dating. I had two beers then we started having shots of vodka, I didn't want to take shots but I let the peer pressure change that. I remembee leaving the bar we were at then ending up in a loung.. I don't remember how we got to the loung but I remember dancing with my bf and having fun.. I didn't remember buying a bottle at the loung but apparently we did and continued to drink. I remember getting along with the girl and,her crying to me about baby daddy drama. The place was empty except for four guys sitting at the bar. I remember seeing them laughing and me feeling offended. I told my bf and his friend something about the guys I don't remember what or even why. I think I imagined they insulted me. They almost got into a fight but my bfs friend difused the situation - this I don't remember and neither does my bf but his friend told him this. Then I lost memory of what happened next.. I remember crying and being scared and then crossing the street and some guy telling me I hope I didn't hurt him too bad but u cant hit a girl like that. I looked and seen my bf on the fl I walked to him and the cops came. I don't remember what happened why I was scared and crying and who hit my bf. We went in a cab and went home. I feel so depressed and embarrassed because I don't know what happened. I feel it was my fault. I feel like I ruined everything. We were having a good night. My bf blacked out too. He doesn't remember fighting but has a busted lip and some scrapes. I don't remember fighting but have a light black and blue on my face the shape of a perfect circle. My bf has bit marks on his chest so im sure those came from me. When this happened his friend was walking the girl to a cab so he didn't see anything but he said my bf must have gotten jumped from those four guys at the bar once they seen he was alone. But then why did the guy tell me my bf shouldn't hit girls? I think I fought with my bf and that guy broke it up by punching him. But I don't remember. How can I remember what happened before and after the fight but I cant remember the fight and who was in it or what caused it? I feel terrible like I betrayed my bf like I watched him get hurt and didn't help him. I called my siblings during the blackout and my brother heard my bf saying why am I getting him into this he will only get stabbed. Im so confused.. I been depressed for days and just been crying. I didn't lose anything and were all alive and my bf isn't too hurt but still I feel horrible I feel stupid and immature and its eating me up.. I feel like not living.. Im so ashamed.. My bf tells me I shouldn't feel so bad cuz we cant remember wat happened and we were all drunk but I cant help it.. I want to move away and be someone else. I feel too embarrassed to look at his friend and girl and myself. I don't know what happened and its killing me. I remember the emotions I felt but I don't know what caused them. I just cant get passed this. I know I will never drink again even thou I heardly drink and this was the first time anything this has happened to me it just feels so scarey. I feel so sad and depressed I just want to die. I hate myself and the feeling of not remembering. I feel like a bad person im so ashamed.. Please help I don't know how to get overcome this depression