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Bidets: The Wave of the Future!

I strive to live a green-friendly and waste-free life, we should all strive for a better future!


So I purchased myself the Achiotely Handheld Bidet Toilet Sprayer recently, and I have to say it is one of the best purchases I have ever made. Not only that, I think this thing and products like it are the wave of the future! Just between you and I, my booty has never been so clean and fresh, and I'm saving tons of money on toilet paper.

If the coronavirus pandemic has taught me anything, it has taught me how much of a waste and detriment to the environment the use of toilet paper is.

The Benefits

Honestly if I had to list the negatives of purchasing and utilizing a bidet, I would be hard-pressed to find a single one. In fact, I'll just say this in the benefits section, the only negative of this for me was having to touch the area behind the toilet for installation; luckily the instillation was quick and easy! I'm saving money, reducing waste, remaining more hygienic, and hopefully a whole bunch of trees get to stay standing strong and beautiful because I no longer have any use for toilet paper.

It is said that Americans use about 37 billion rolls of toilet paper every year. According to those who have taken the time to break it down into mathematics, that is 15 million trees that are pulped so we can wipe ourselves. That is an absolutely egregious figure that could easily be cut in half, or even better eliminated by the use of bidets.

If you think that is bad, catch this little piece of info: Statistical data shows that producing a single roll of toilet paper requires between 12 and 37 gallons of water. Whereas a bidet only requires 1/8 of a gallon of water to both clean and flush!

How could you not be switching over to a bidet right now!?


The Bidet Experience

I'm in North America, pretty much the only continent in the world where bidets are not popular, and in many cases the only continent where bidets are looked down upon. After buying and experiencing a quality bidet for myself, well, it is freeing and enlightening. I don't understand why every country in the world isn't calling for mandatory bidet installation and usage.

Using a bidet to clean your booty, as compared to the softest toilet paper you have ever used, you may as well call that toilet paper sandpaper. A gentle, airy water stream caressing the booty for ten seconds or less is more like a therapeutic massage than it is a necessary part of hygiene. Every time I go to the bathroom I feel like a king, getting that five-star treatment from the spa right at home!

I'm being flippant, but nonetheless I'd say it is accurate as I sit here and wonder why the hell you still haven't placed your order?!

Bidets are the wave of the future, the way to a healthier and sustainable environment, join the wave of the future and get yourself a bidet now!


Kyler J Falk (author) from California on April 30, 2020:

It's actually simpler to use than toilet paper, and there are numerous ways to dry yourself. Shake and drip dry, hand towels are more than viable if you know how to clean yourself properly, or you could continue to use toilet paper but less just to dry. As for getting water everywhere, that's what we thought would happen, like a spoon effect, but you just put it down there between your legs and go to town and it does the job better than TP.

It is ultimately more effective, more hygienic, and contributes to a sustainable environmental standard. I thought you'd be one of the ones to agree with the use Shauna, with your love of nature. Alas, there are those who will contribute their ways, and those who will do it their own.

So long as we all strive to be better for the world, then I'm content on the idea of progress at any cost.

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on April 30, 2020:

Kyler, I'm with Shannon on this one. First off, I wouldn't even know how to go about using a bidet. I'd probably get water all over the place. And then there's the drying off factor.

I'll just stick to toilet paper.

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Kyler J Falk (author) from California on April 29, 2020:

I'm a verbosity connoisseur, so when people feel something I prefer they expand upon it unnecessarily. It helps me to avoid misunderstandings due to my own predispositions to hypersensitivity and information processing disorders. Your comment could've had so many different connotations, and the emoji at the end piqued my paranoia.

Luckily I have the wherewithal to seek clarity before getting upset, lest I scare everyone away with triggered behavior.

Shannon Henry from Texas on April 29, 2020:

Well, in this case, it would've been to let you know I appreciated what you said, but had nothing to say in return. HP tends to discard one-word answers or shorter responses to spam folders. But I agree that part of HP's appeal is that it isn't a social media site.

Kyler J Falk (author) from California on April 29, 2020:

Thank God it doesn't, otherwise I'd find a new place to post. These days, everyone either uses the like button in lieu of anything interesting to say, to express slight disinterest but they like you enough to let you know they're paying attention, or to be condescending. I hate social media for the most part.

Shannon Henry from Texas on April 29, 2020:

If HP had like buttons on the comments, I'd hit it for your reply to me. :)

Kyler J Falk (author) from California on April 29, 2020:

@Shannon: That is really unfortunate to hear, it has actually proven to be a more hygienic and comfortable choice for my girlfriend and I. We also go with non-waste options whenever we can as well, like reusable water bottles and little to no paper or disposable plastic usage. Where the government won't do their part to protect the environment, we will!

C'est la vie!

Kyler J Falk (author) from California on April 29, 2020:

For those of us who like to, "go commando," if you spend an extra thirty seconds sitting there your booty will be mostly dry. Then again, you can be like me and wiggle yourself a bit to get the excess water off and let your clothes do the rest. (I like to live life on the edge, hahahaha!)

For those with a plethora of hand towels, like me, and no time to sit for half a minute you can use them as many times as you feel is appropriate to dry yourself off without worry of, "Dirtying," them.

For those who think they'll be risking getting poop or pee on the towels... well, try to be more hygienic I suppose, hahaha!

From what I hear, if you use the proper incantation while wearing that mask you can actually summon the Charmin bears and they'll fight the coronavirus off one wipe at a time! Bonus effect of summoning them is you'll never have toilet paper dingleberries either!

Woe to us who have renounced the ways of our toilet paper overlords.

Shannon Henry from Texas on April 29, 2020:

The amusing title caught my attention. Good for you if it's for you, but I think I'll give it a hard pass. Despite the pros you list here, the con for me is that I can't imagine having my ass sprayed with water like that, especially when it's already ...ahem....dirty. The thought of the sensation alone is enough to deter me!

The Logician from then to now on on April 29, 2020:

Interesting-I have not heard of this.

One question, how do you dry off? With toilet paper?

Btw the corona virus has actually taught us more like how important toilet paper is to the government guide lines. Obviously this is why there was a run on toilet paper.

Not only does it keep you from touching your face people stay more than 6 feet away from you when you are out and about, they actually run away!

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