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Arrogance, pride, self-love and many more synonyms are used to describe a narcissist.
Many people may think at first glance to read the title of this article that a narcissist is an absolutely hated person, or this impression may be based on a personal experience that one of us has had with a narcissist, but you will be surprised when you finish reading the article by the amount of narcissists we know or even respect.
Where did the name come from?
The Roman poet Ovid in AD 8 spoke of the character of Narcissus, the son of the river god Cephissus.
Narcissus, the handsome young man, was so beautiful that every girl he saw fell in love with him, and in some accounts he was also fascinated by men, but he rejected all his fans and admirers, even rejecting the nymph of the forest itself.
Narcissus's refusal of all was the cause of the anger of the gods of revenge, so it was only that the gods cursed him. The curse was in the form of his fatal love for himself. When he was drinking from the lake, he saw his reflection on the face of the water and fell in love with himself. His death flower was called the narcissus flower.
Believe it or not, narcissism is a stage in the development of a child's personality, and this is according to the words of the famous psychologist Sigmund Freud, meaning that we all at one time were narcissistic, but if the child did not come out of this stage and grew up with him, then we say that he suffers from (narcissistic personality disorder).
A narcissist in general is an arrogant person who describes himself as a genius and a leader who overestimates himself and his consistent explanation of people's hatred of him is that he is a genius and the haters are not genius enough to love him, but this explanation results if he is convinced that he has haters.
Contrary to what we expect, the narcissist is a very likable person, at least at the beginning of his relationships, because of his charisma and interest in his appearance and body. The narcissist attacks the people around him without regard to their feelings, even though he does not accept criticism in any form.
Delroy Paulhus conducted a social experiment in which a group of people talked to each other for 20 minutes a week and evaluated each other weekly. It was exactly the opposite, as they described them as arrogance, arrogance, love of control and indifference to the feelings of others.
As we mentioned earlier, narcissism is the product of a child’s failure for any reason, to get out of the narcissistic period in his childhood, and when he enters school, it is easy for him to make friendships, but the common denominator in all his friendships is that they are short-term, and this also applies to his emotional relationships. In one study, the result was that the time limit The maximum emotional narcissist's relationship is 4 months.
As for the area of safety and comfort for him, social networking sites allow him to appear in the ideal appearance that he deserves, as he put it, through filters and photo-editing programs and taking a picture from the ideal angle that shows his true position, and these sites give him the impression of people as he wants him through Likes, shares, and comments are limited to phrases of praise, which is what the narcissist loves.
However, despite all these shortcomings, a narcissist can be more successful than a non-narcissist.
The narcissist’s belief that he is better than his peers generates in him a strong determination to succeed, and his certainty that he is the fittest to lead may actually make him the leader, as many leaders and leaders throughout history are likely to be narcissists such as Napoleon Bonaparte, Alexander the Great and Donald Trump.
Ronald deluga, professor of psychology at Bryant University, brought a group of psychologists and asked them to classify the presidents of the United States of America according to the degree of their narcissism. Narcissists were the most effective, creative and charismatic as well.
Micheal Maccoby, an anthropologist and leadership expert, says a leader must have a bit of narcissism to become a successful leader. These leaders have been dubbed Productive Narcissists, including Bill Gates, steve Jobs, and Andy Grove.
Can a narcissist change?
It is unfortunate that part of narcissism is genetic and we can do nothing about it. The other part has to do with education and we can change it.
According to psychologists, parents may be the reason for making their children narcissistic, by exaggerating the praise of the child’s person, even for achievements that we may consider trivial, and they call this act Person Praise, such as: You are wonderful, you are great and others.
The solution for psychologists is through Process Praise, i.e. we praise the child’s performance, such as: Get it done quickly, great performance and others.
And also the cultural environment plays a role in the upbringing of narcissistic people. Some scholars say that societies that support individualism, such as capitalism, have narcissism higher than societies that rely on group such as communism, and their evidence for this is what happened after World War II when Germany was divided into eastern (communist) and western (Capitalism) They found that Germans who grew up in West Germany had higher rates of narcissism than those who grew up in East Germany.
It is possible that we do not like the narcissist and this is normal. No one likes the arrogant, and no one likes to be humiliated by the narcissist, but we must not forget that this may be the result of things he is not in control of. It may be the result of genes he inherited or an environment in which he grew up. Its character is nothing but symptoms of a disease that is narcissistic personality disorder, like any disease such as depression, for example.
In the end, we must accept the diversity of personalities in our society, and we must, according to our human principles, accept the other and contain it in what we can do.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
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