Are we lonely or not, deep within?
Don't we feel scared just by thinking, what if our loved ones, leave us?
A sense of loneliness, it is not just a problem of a single person, it almost relates to everyone. Externally, we feel so connected with everyone, but deep within, there is an emptiness, there is an empty void.
It is a problem that has no connection with gender, any age group, or with time. A problem that existed from years still has its presence and will remain in future. We are all very well connected with the outside world through social media, but is there any connection left between our thinking process and actions, between our mind and heart.
Even if I tell you to leave your mobile phone for a day, can you imagine how lonely will you feel?
We can show the strong side of ours to society, but inside us lies a fear, fear of being lonely.
We can show ourselves as a very strong personality from outside but is it the same within our mind. Merely by control our emotions and diverting our minds, can we overcome loneliness? In this article, I am going to explain the root cause of why we feel lonely and how to overcome it.
What is the Solution?
Generally, you get advice to shift your concentration to somewhere else or control your feelings. But isn't this what we do every time when we face a problem? We try to find another person, whenever we feel lonely.
When does this sense of loneliness gets prominent in us, when we get separated from someone, very dear to us. A chain of thoughts crosses our mind, we feel frustrated, we feel depressed. So, ask yourself at this moment, is this the solution, to shift your concentration to somewhere else? This isn't the proper solution.
You may indulge in many activities, maybe your hobbies or anything to shift your concentration, but again are you in the condition to make the right decision?
If possible, don't make a decision in anger or depression. This will be better to make no decision rather than making a decision. For example, you may decide to go for a night out to consume liquor or thinking of revenge, anything can strike your mind at that moment.
Why we feel scared from the Feeling of Loneliness?
There are two things in life, one is your survival. When your survival is at stake, when you are dependent on a person for your survival, you get the fear of being alone in life.
The second thing is your happiness. Understand the difference between the need for survival and need for happiness when someone leaves. Well, there is no direct relation between survival and happiness, though we need both.
Just think of yourself being dependent on someone for your survival, because you never achieved or did something great to make yourself stand or capable, you'll definitely get
Coming to the survival part, you have to work on it anyhow, be it by being educated or making yourself independent because if your survival gets secured, you will never feel so lonely from this part.
I hope you get the idea for survival part, where you didn't make yourself capable and get dependent on someone else for which can be anything such as emotional need, or psychological need, or physical need or let's say financial need, you will be scared losing that person. For a permanent solution of this part, you need to be independent for survival.
Coming to the second part, that is Happiness. Think of a situation where you are not relying on someone for your happiness, you deep within are filled with happiness from yourself, how amazing will it be.
Knowingly or unknowingly we tend to ask for happiness from the people in our circle, for example, let's say if people work according to your expectation, you get happy. Isn't it begging for happiness?
If you can't make yourself happy, how will you spread happiness? You should be the happiness everyone wants, not beg for it. You should be the supreme love, that everyone wants. You should feel happy even if you are alone.
When we sit alone for some time, a string of negative thoughts passes through our mind. Now, suppose, if you are alone and you are getting thoughts that are full of entertainment, making you feel good, what will happen next? You will move forward for not feeling alone, depressed anymore.
Try to understand, the problem never lies in the outside world, it's a problem of inner-self. People are trying so hard to make connections, relations from the outside world and think it will make them happy.
You feel incomplete from inside, and look for someone else to complete you. This is the time when I want you to be completely independent and say," I am complete ". And once you start making connections within yourself, the outside world will come to you.
Some Ways to Overcome Loneliness
1. Don't give much importance to everyone in your life. Start taking your life lightly.
2. Don't hold onto your beliefs and gets entangled in them.
3. Try to change your perspective towards everything according to your experiences.
4. Just believe yourself, that you are the source of happiness, for not just yourself but for everybody in this creation.
Whether you should, believe it or not, you are the infinite source of happiness. You don't need to be dependent on anyone for your happiness, you are happy within. Try to resolve the complexities by understanding who you really are.
Once you are able to understand yourself, you will feel a grandness within yourself. To completely get rid of this sense of loneliness, there is only one thing you need to think, that you are not lonely even when you are alone.
When you are alone, you are with yourself, and who are you, an infinite source of happiness. Keep Believing in yourself !!
If you want me to bring a series of articles on similar topics, do comment below. Do share this article if this article helped you in any way. Thanks. "Stay Happy" !!
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2021 Sagar Verma