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8 Rules of Change, to Heal and to Grow.

Engelta loves to talk and study in depth the self-esteem issues, as well as how to improve and cherish relationships.


We go through major changes every once in a while in our life. Be it a new job, a new apartment, a new city to live, or just choosing what you are going to graduate for, can lead to anxiety and you being afraid to point the finger in any of the opportunities ahead of you.

The thing is, if you do not take chances and make the necessary changes, no one else will do it for you. Most people regret the chances they did not take and they wish they could have been more fearless and more courageous.

Do not be like those who only have regret to cherish now. Be the one that takes control over his/her life. Carpe diem with this 8 rules for change.

Realize it is not comfortable.

But that does not mean you should let it go. No choice feels like an easy one, nor does it feel like the best one. But if you do not try it out, you will never know where it might lead you. You may feel discomfort, and that is OK, all the major changes come with a little anxiety and discomfort, but they usually end up being the best choices you ever made. There is always going to be some kind of resistance at first, but do not hesitate, push your limits.

The skills you have not, yet.

Every change calls for a new you. A person you may feel like you are not ready to be, but that kind of person that you have dreamed your whole life becoming of. You think you do not have what it takes, you do not have yet the skills to do the job. Who cares? You will learn and develop the skills. Remember that even the master was once a beginner. No one starts by being fabulous at something, they learn their way into it, they grow with every chance they take.

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You can not stop the change.

It will happen, rather you want it or not. You can choose what shape change will take. People who are not afraid of change, embrace it and give it all they got. Pursue the good things, so change will not come as a hurricane to you. Instead it will give you what you always asked for.

Take your time do adjust.

Things do not happen overnight, especially the good things. It may be more time that you thought at first, but it will come to an end sooner or later and then you will earn the benefits of it.

It is never instant, it is an investment.

An investment you do in yourself, for yourself. Remind yourself that in time you will express gratitude to yourself for the investment you make today. All the benefits of change do not come in a couple of seconds. You should put your effort in it in a daily basis, to cherish its fruits in the future. The thought that you will thank yourself in the future, should be your instant happiness now. For example: I am at law school, studying law for at least 4 other years. Did I wanted to end up with a law degree? Yes. Do I love the field I have chosen and the profession? Yes. Am I always motivated to study hard? No. Why? Because sometimes I forget that these study years will soon be over and in a blink of an eye I will find myself in the real life, looking for a job, or for clients! That will be my future, and then I realize that if I do not study hard now, I will not have that kind of future I imagine for myself! I will end up in some corner of the world, doing a job I do not like and complaining how scary life is. Why? Because I gave up now. I did not take my chances. I throw away the investment of 7-8 years for nothing! So, do not give up! Do take your chances!


It is OK to get frustrated.

Just do not give up. Do not be part of the majority of people who give up the moment they feel frustrated or tired, or when they do not see results and suppose it is not working. Of course it is working! Because you are investing your time, your energy, your mind, your knowledge in it. The results will not come in that given moment. They need some time. What most people forget is that time and difficulties are the natural course of anything you want to achieve. If you want to achieve greatness, then be great! Do not fall for those moments of stress.

Good change can be uncomfortable too.

You have searched and asked your whole life to find your soul-mate, to work in that dream place or to have that amazing apartment in your name. Then, when the opportunity knocks your door, you are frozen. What do you do? You open the door, no doubt! Here it comes all you have ever asked, so you do not stand still! As I said, take your chances, or let things go forever. It is uncomfortable because it is something new, but it should not discourage you, instead, it should inspire you.

You are not in control of every little detail.

No one is perfect and the one that thinks he/she is, belongs to a museum! The smartest words Remarque have ever said. Accept the fact that you can not control everything, or anything. Let things flow in their natural pace and maybe something more beautiful will come your way, something you could not even imagine. Understanding that you do not have control on anything, releases you from a big heavy burden. All you can control it is the way you response.


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