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How to Control the Voices in our Heads?

Engelta loves to talk and study in depth the self-esteem issues, as well as how to improve and cherish relationships.

You are hanging out with a dear friend of yours and they start talking about how they hate this things or that feature on themselves, or how the judgmental persons are all right because they have so many flaws. You tell your friend to shut those voices down because they are beautiful. You tell them to believe in themselves more, to love themselves more. However, you do not listen to your own advice. You fall in the same abyss of judgments and critics of flaws that your friend finds him/herself.

Why do we advocate so much the love you must have for yourself? The respect and the belief that you are beautiful in whatever color, shape, nation you come from? Because we all fall into that abyss, even only once in a lifetime. Everybody feels ashamed of him/herself somehow, or do not like the way they are, what they have, the way people behave towards them. Everyone has body issues, even the models. Everyone has job issues and questions his/her ability to do the work, even a CEO.
The little voice in your head never misses an opportunity to remind you how small you are or how worthless your dreams are. You can choose to shut that voice down and achieve your wildest dreams, or you can choose to make it your best friend and never achieve anything great.

Believe in yourself - Always.

Alan Rickman.

Alan Rickman.

6 Lies You Tell Yourself

I do not own what it takes.

This is one of the most stupid phrases, either when you say so to yourself or somebody else says it to you. Nobody has what it takes in the beginning. They learn on their way up. If everyone thought they were not capable of doing something, the world would have not moved on. Of course, some people are blessed with talents, but talent without hard work is nothing. Hard work can beat talent when talent does not work hard. If you have the will to achieve something and if you practice religiously, you will win the game.

I do not deserve what I want.

You deserve everything you ever wanted or that you ever got. If not you, then who? The reasons you give up and force yourself to show up everyday in the workplace you hate, or you stay in relationships that are toxic, it is because of that mindset: You do not deserve it. What? A better relationship? You think you do not deserve someone that treats you better, or that cares for you? You do not deserve to work on something that makes you happy? If all the people in the world would think like you do and give up, world would be a much darker place than it already is.

I do not have the time.

The simple truth on this one is that you have the time to do whatever you want. If you really want something, you will make it a priority. It is the same as when you call somebody you are not close with, to hang out together, and they say they are too busy, that means that simply do not make time for you. When you call your best friend, or your family, they will leave it all just to be with you. See? It is all about priorities. If you really want something, you will make time for it.

I am too young or too old.

If your age is the thing that keeps holding you back from achieving your dreams, than you have a real issue for which you should change your mindset. Age has never been an issue. The thought of being too young for this, or too old for that is an issue. We play with those cards all the time. We use the too old and too young cards as our escape from responsibilities. Throw them away. The thing that is slowing you down is not age, it is that little voice in your head.

Don't be afraid to defend yourself and speak your mind.


The past is defining my future.

Ask somebody who comes from a broken family how he achieved all he has now. Ask somebody who made it to Harvard even though his family was broke. How did they do it? Because they were thinking that the past will define their future? They thought because of their past, a bright future would be impossible? I doubt that. They changed their mindset. They decided to go for the impossible and see where that would lead them.

Happiness will come to me once I achieve my dreams.

How will you achieve your dreams if you are not working for them? How will achieve anything if you are not happy with what you are doing to achieve them? Happiness lies in the 'now'. You will be surprised how many people thought as you do and then when they achieved what they wanted, they found out they were not happy. The things they got were not the answers they were looking for. If the road to achieve your goals is not making you happy, maybe it is the time you give up on that dream, or you change directions.

Go a little crazy. You'll regret more what you didn't do than what you did.

Cara Delevigne.

Cara Delevigne.

How to make it to Success?

  • It is not necessary to do it all at once. - you cannot work in many directions at the same time. You will get confused and tired and give up in the end. Instead break your goals into little goals and follow them one by one.
  • Start working toward your goals. - you can create a plan on how you will work on your every little goal. Do not miss any of the steps you think you are important. Nothing is done overnight. It all takes time and patience.
  • Think differently. - if you think 1 negative thing about yourself, then try to remind yourself 3 positive things. Scientists say this is the best way to let negative thoughts go and focus on the positive.
  • Visualize yourself as you already have what you want. - picturing yourself as you have already achieved your dreams is very important. It will give you an idea of how you will feel when you have achieved them. It will also help with your imagination, and finding other ways to achieve what you want, if what you are already doing, it is not working.
  • Find a hobby. - new mental and physical experiences will make you happier and more productive. A hobby it is a great way to not think for a while.
  • Overpass fear. - fear holds everyone back. The fear they will lose. The fear they will be laughed at. The fear of everything. Fear is stupid. Make this your mantra.
  • Invest somewhere. - if you can, invest in a business you would like to see evolving. Invest in a new degree. Or in new clothes and shoes if that makes you happy.
  • Find a mentor. - sometimes when you are hitting a field you know a lot in theory about, but you are not that good on how things work in the real world, it is a good solution to find somebody who has overcame the difficulties and who has reached something. If it is necessary, hire the mentor!
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© 2015 Ensorcelie


FlourishAnyway from USA on June 15, 2015:

This is a great positive hub for pulling yourself up and moving forward. In the end, we each need to be our own greatest cheerleader.

Ensorcelie (author) from Albania on June 14, 2015:

Thank you for sharing your experience :))

Lawrence Hebb from Hamilton, New Zealand on June 13, 2015:


Years in the Army taught me that I can handle anything this world can throw at me and come back fighting!

The Military take all the negative we can muster and beat it out of you. Then when its all out they build back in that you are the best at what you do (no matter you've never done it before!) That's why soldiers achieve what they do!

Loved this hub. Voted it awesome


Ramachandra A Pai from Vasai on June 03, 2015:

We are our best friends and our worst enemies..True..

Ensorcelie (author) from Albania on June 03, 2015:

Thank you :)

Sinha from Calcutta on June 03, 2015:

Great Hub!

We all are knowledgeable people more or less but we do not abide by our own knowledge when it comes to ourselves.

Very true :)

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