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23 Weird Things You Would Experience in a Post COVID World

Author:

Technology Manager, Poet, History Maniac. Also, a prolific writer on varied topics

OK, here is the utopian scenario worth dreaming about in these difficult times:

You are on the final day of lockdown, quarantine, or whatever you want to call it.

The Coronavirus has been truly wiped off from the face of the planet and everybody is going gung-ho about it. Shops, restaurants, schools, offices, pubs, you name it and it is opening from tomorrow. The world has finally swung back to normal.

And as you step out, breathing the fresh air of a post-COVID morning, here are some weird things you would experience as you attempt to reset your life back to normal.

So here, it goes….

  • You can go to the office in a T-shirt and shorts. It is the new normal.
  • Again, if you go to the office in a double-breasted three-piece suit, you would be considered abnormal.


  • Enjoying the real-time twittering of birds is the new normal.
  • Again, if you are not posting the twittering sounds on Twitter, you would be considered abnormal.


  • Hanging out with friends on Zoom is the new normal.
  • Again, if you are touching them physically, you would be considered abnormal.


  • Inviting friends and relatives online to attend your online wedding is the new normal.
  • Again, if you are sending them a paper-based, potentially infected invitation card, you would be considered abnormal.


  • Learning to cook anything via YouTube and eating at home is the new normal.
  • Again, if you are eating out at hotels every second day, you would be considered abnormal.


  • Small talk about Corona or any other pandemic is the new normal.
  • Again, you talk about soccer, tennis, or the super bowl, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If your kids skip school and attend online schooling, it is the new normal.
  • Again, if you force them to go to school every day, you would be considered abnormal.


  • Binge-watching movies on Amazon Prime and Netflix with online friends is the new normal.
  • Again, if you plan a physical movie night out with your friends, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If you say, “Sometimes I work from office”, you are the new normal.
  • If you say, “Sometimes I work from home”, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If you “feel” at home, staying at home, you are the new normal.
  • Again, if you feel bored staying at home, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If a 5-litre sanitizer bottle is part of the monthly budget, this is the new normal.
  • Again, if you still eat at roadside eateries with dubious hygiene conditions, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If you are breaking your friendship immediately with that stupid friend of yours, who sneezed openly, this is the new normal.
  • Again, if you are still hanging around with that moron despite his atrocious crime, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If you are a pro at online dating and virtual sex, you are the new normal
  • Again, if you still send her flowers and chocolates every second day, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If you are sanitizing every piece of grocery bought from the supermarket before consuming, you are the new normal.
  • Again, if you are directly plucking an apple from a tree and eating, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If you are a fashion diva wearing a Louis Vuitton facemask, you are the new normal.
  • Again, if you are still showing your pretty face, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If you are a sports star and have adapted to the new playgrounds of virtual tennis, virtual cricket, or even virtual golf, you are the new normal.
  • Again, if you still dream of playing on the greens, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If you are an employee working with a 25% cut in salary and logging in 80 hours a day, that too without asking for a hike, you are the new normal.
  • Again, if you are expecting a hike or a promotion, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If you are an employer and have successfully changed your business model to selling masks, sanitizers, or ventilators, you are the new normal.
  • Again, if you are still expecting your old business model to work, you will be considered abnormal.


  • If you are calling each and every faraway relative and friend from yesteryears and enquiring about their health, you are the new normal.
  • Again, if you are still in the self-centred mode, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If you do ‘binge news-watching’ at least 2 hours a day, you are the new normal.
  • Again, if you are not interested to know, what is in the news, you would be considered abnormal.


  • If you see groups of hyenas, elephants, or tigers walking freely on the roads, it is the new normal.
  • Again, if you see a group of humans crossing the world, they all would be considered abnormal.


  • If you enjoy breathing the fresh, unpolluted post-COVID air, you are the new normal
  • Again, if you miss the blackened, stinking air of the pre-COVID era, you would be considered abnormal.


  • Lastly, if you are missing your COVID days, you are the new normal
  • Again, if you are missing your pre-COVID days, you would be considered abnormal.