Updated date:

10 Disturbing Places You’ll Find Fecal Matter

Many people expect to find fecal matter in the bathroom, and by now a lot of people know a popular place for fecal matter to land is on a grocery cart handle (that's why scores of stores now offer sanitizing wipes near where you pick up your carts). But, aside from the obvious, you may be surprised at the other disturbing places you'll find fecal matter -- even when common sense would dictate it shouldn't be there.


1. Your Kitchen Counter. You cook, clean and sanitize your kitchen completely, every day before you turn in for the night. Yet, in the morning, there is a very good chance you will still have fecal matter on your countertop – before anyone even steps foot into the kitchen. Why? Because, the freaks come out at night: namely, mice and insects. Mice love to leave their droppings wherever they travel, and when winter rolls in, you might just be sharing your home with a critter or two. Even if you don’t see mice droppings, they don’t mind walking on their poop or pooping where they sleep, so it’s all over their fur and feet.


2. Your Food. There are a number of foods that contain fecal matter, and it runs the gamut across all food groups, including the spices we use to prepare our favorite dishes. The FDA publishes a very long list of acceptable rodent excrement levels, which are a part of what they call “acceptable defect levels,” and falls under the title mammalian excreta. Spices like cinnamon bark and thyme are allowed to contain an “average of 1 mg or more mammalian excreta per pound after processing.” You will also find it in wheat, where the acceptable number of rodent pellets and/or fragments can be an average of 9mg or more per kilogram.


3. Your Dinner Table. Wood dinner tables can house a lot of bacteria, and sometimes a quick wipe-down doesn't sanitize completely. Yet, even when you have glass and other surfaces, fecal matter will still be found on the surface. How? One avenue of transfer is from your purse or jacket. Whenever you visit a restroom and put your purse or jacket on the floor, you have just picked up some fecal matter. Now think about how many times you come home and toss your purse or jacket onto the table as you come in. Yuck.


4. Your face. Pucker up! If you have a pet that loves to shower you with attention by licking you on the face, consider the number of times you’ve seen any pet sniff another’s rear-end - and that’s just the beginning. Dogs regularly eat and step in poop; cats do it, too. Even if they don’t lick your face, if you’ve touched their paw and then itched your nose, you have just become an official member of the facial feces club. Congratulations.


5. Holy Water. Researchers from Medical University of Vienna’s Institute of Hygiene and Applied Immunology found that fecal matter was present in 86% of the holy water tested. Even better, it also contained E coli bacteria and other nasty treats. Of the holy springs tested, only 14% met the drinking water chemical and microbiological standards. Hmmm… maybe we should name it hole-y water: straight from the chocolate hole to the church. Yikes.


6. Play areas. Most moms – especially first-time moms – take excruciating care to protect their toddlers and crawling babies from germs. Then, without thinking, they promptly plop them down in a “safe” play area to romp around with their peers. A leaky diaper here, a leaky diaper there, and that sanitary environment is history. Sometimes the feces sit in those fast food play areas for days, as employees miss that juicy piece of poop in the ball pit or on top of the plastic maze running up to the slide.


7. Mobile phones. People are keeping their mobile phones in their pants and storing them in their armpits via their bras, so it’s probably safe to assume that people are tucking them into the elastic bands of their underwear, too. Oops. What you thought would be secure just slid downtown a little, so now you’ve got to dig it out, right? Next action: maybe it’s better just to set it down on the table for now… no wonder kitchen table have fecal matter.


8. Perfume and Beauty Treatments. What you apply to your body to make yourself to more attractive is likely to contain fecal matter as well. Expensive perfumes use a substance called ambergris, which comes from sperm whales and it commonly known to be the “gold of the sea.” Produced by the whales in their intestines, it is harvested when the whale blasts is out of is anus. If you prefer to smooth some feces on your body as opposed to spraying it on, you can try a Geisha Facial. This Japanese beauty treatment's main ingredient is bird poop, which when combined with it's other ingredients, is systematically spread over the entire face. This includes the lips. Maybe the manufacturers should switch their marketing campaigns to say: "You, too, can be prettier with poop."


9. Your Toothbrush. Many people leave their toothbrushes out in open, held strategically off the bacteria-laden bathroom counter by those cute little toothbrush holders that match the rest of their bathroom accessories. This practice is exactly how fecal matter gets onto your toothbrush. Every time someone yanks that silver little handle to send their excrement down the drain, the toilet releases a microscopic spray of water droplets into the air – water that is loaded with itty bitty morsels of fecal matter. So every time someone drops a load in the toilet, it sets the wheels in motion for giving those toothbrushes another fine mist of butt sauce.


10. Bottles of Sanitizer. Probably the least likely place that people would think fecal matter is resting is on that bottle of sanitizer they're using; but, most people don't think to clean the oft-contaminated pump dispenser or the outside of the bottle. So, while your hands might be clean afterwards, that exterior of the bottle no longer is. This is particularly evident in elementary schools, where some practices have shifted to a quick dose of sanitizer in lieu of hand washing in order to save time. Touch that bottle after you've sanitized, and you will need to sanitize again.

Related Articles