People are strange. This has been true since the dawn of time and this will always be true. One of the factors that make people so strange is our fears, more specifically our phobias. The dictionary defines a phobia as:
“An exaggerated usually inexplicable and illogical fear of a particular object, class of objects, or situation”
Since the human race is so vast and each person is unique, it comes as no surprise that we should encounter bizarre phobias as well. It is just a matter of time with humanity. Below is a list of 10 bizarre phobias and ways to overcome them.
1. Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of Peanut Butter Sticking to the Roof of the Mouth
How can we battle this insidious and lurking phobia? I would highly recommend the use of water. When the onslaught of sticky peanut butter sets in to overwhelm our delicate oral sensibilities, the protective and combative powers of water are the first line of defense. Be sure when drinking water to drink liberally to avoid any lingering peanut butter from sticking around.
2. Asymmetriphobia - Fear of Asymmetrical Things
The only clear and proper response to this phobia is to stay indoors, shut off the television, break all the mirrors and spend your life sleeping. This is truly the only surefire way to avoid asymmetry. It seems the world has it out for the poor souls afflicted with this phobia. Everything we look at, including ourselves, is asymmetrical.
3. Bibliophobia - Fear of Books
Nothing is as powerful or thought-provoking as good books. Or should I say bad books? A person in this condition is best served by watching television and avoiding the dreaded library at all costs. It may also be a good idea to avoid schools and smart people as well. If this person has the good fortune to be born in the world setting of Fahrenheit 451 then they can sleep well knowing that books can’t harm them anymore. Wait…Fahrenheit 451 is a book?
4. Chaetophobia - Fear of Hair
SHAVE YOUR HEAD! Do this as quickly as humanly possible. A person with this phobia has to stay extra vigilant because hair is relentless. It will continue to grow at alarming rates if not kept in check as early, and as often, as possible. Do not be alarmed if at around age 13 forward you begin to experience the additional growth of evil hair.
5. Dendrophobia - Fear of Trees
My advice to these phobic people is simple. Protest the green movement, live in the desert, avoid the Pacific Northwest, and become a lumberjack.
6. Euphobia - Fear of Hearing Good News
Lucky for people with this phobia that all they have to do is watch any modern news channel and they have effectively avoided good news. Also, it might be a good idea to avoid friendships. The last thing they need in this condition is a pal calling them up to tell them about their latest promotion or achievement. That would only end in tears.
7. Macrophobia - Fear of Long Waits
First and foremost avoid the DMV or any other government office. These organizations have it out for people with this phobia. In addition, if you find you are waiting too long on a telephone call, hang up and forget achieving results. It probably isn’t worth it anyway.
Math is boring for most people, this is not unusual. However, the presence of numbers is seemingly everywhere and multiplying. How is a person such as this avoid numbers? Well, they can’t. My recommendation is to take a basic math class and get over it.
8. Numerophobia - Fear of Numbers
9. Octophobia - Fear of the Figure 8
The figure 8 is an easy figure in which to get caught up and lose sight of your hold on reality and become afraid. The lines loop around and around into infinity. To avoid the malevolent qualities of the figure eight, the best option is to forget it exists.
Skip it when counting and just move on to the friendlier and accommodating number 9. If a person is found to be caught in its deadly clutches, the best thing to do is remember that 8 is only a number and that they are weird.
10. Consecotaleophobia - Fear of Chopsticks
The obvious response to this phobia is the use of forks. This may seem odd to most people, especially when eating sushi, but maintaining good mental health is far more important than social embarrassment. As a side note, it may be best to avoid Japan. It is my understanding that chopsticks are very popular there.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.