Welcome to our latest dastardly countdown! Today, we're taking a look at some horrifying Yu-Gi-Oh monsters. As fans of the card game may know, most monsters have "effects" that greatly impact the course of duels. A monster effect may increase another monster's attack, for example. But, some creatures don't have effects - these are called "Normal Monsters". And these guys are the ones who get their own monster description on their card; which is just some extra information about the creature. These descriptions don't impact the game, but they do offer some interesting insight about the monsters that are being used. So, let's get to it and review the most horrifying creations from Yu-Gi-Oh!
Besides Yu-Gi-Oh ZEXAL, that is.
Of course, Yu-Gi-Oh's just a card game, but we're going to use our imagination here and think about what nightmares we'd endure if these things were real.
13. Acid Crawler
Description: A giant caterpillar that secretes an acid mist that melts anything.
Acid Crawler might not seem intimidating at first; you probably don't know many people who harbor a fear of caterpillars. But imagine an enormous, gross one capable of producing mist that can melt anything. And keep in mind that mist is defined as water droplets suspended in the atmosphere - meaning that, when Acid Crawler is near, all you'd have to do to perish is breathe.
12. The 13th Grave
Description: A zombie that suddenly appeared from plot #13 - an empty grave.
This one's interesting. First, note that this zombie comes from plot 13 - traditionally considered an unlucky number. Next, consider the fact that the grave is empty.. and the description seems to imply the grave always was empty. So, answer me this. What's worse: zombies who come about by the corruption of a dead human - or zombies who just appear with absolutely no explanation?
11. Doma the Angel of Silence
Description: This fairy rules over the end of existence.
Another fascinatingly creepy card. Whether or not you believe in an afterlife, I doubt you'd want to encounter this thing when you die. From the card text, we know Doma rules over the "end of existence". Unfortunately, that raises more questions than it answers. What's there to rule at the end of existence? Is Doma the master of all mankind, who ultimately end up serving this twisted being? Are eye-shoulders the latest fashion trend in the afterlife?
Only the Angel of Silence knows.
Description: A boomerang with brains that will pursue a target to the ends of the earth.
At first, "boomerang with brains" sounds a bit silly, but the artwork and description of this monster more than make up for it. Remember the hit horror film It Follows? In it, a monster slowly, constantly stalks its targets until it eventually catches up with them and ends them. Imagine that thing, in creepy (but presumably faster) boomerang form, and you arrive at Dokuroyaiba. Throw in the fact that it's stated to have multiple brains, and you have a monster that can probably outrun, outfight, and outsmart you.
9. Candle of Fate
Description: Decides the fate of an opponent when the candle on its fingertip burns out.
Candle of Fate doesn't sound like a monster who will follow you until it catches and kills you. Rather, imagine this - your life as a fragile candletip, prone to being extinguished by the faintest breeze. Even if that doesn't happen, it'll ultimately burn out, and when it does, your fate will be decided by this monster. So, is Candle of Fate a fair, unbiased judge of lives? A malicious killer who delights in seeing the lingering death of its victims? We don't have enough information to know.. making this monster all the more horrifying.
8. Dark King of the Abyss
Description: It's said that this King of the Netherworld once had the power to rule over the dark.
Geez, merely looking at this monster inspires feelings of dread. Dark King of the Abyss is described as a "King of the Netherworld", meaning he's apparently got some power in the afterlife. Huh, maybe he and Doma opened their own soul corporation. Regardless, note that we're told he once had the power to rule over the dark, to which I ask two questions. One, what does ruling over the dark entail, exactly? And two, what kind of fiend had the power to overthrow the Dark King's reign?
7. Dark Assailant
Description: Armed with the Psycho Sword, this sinister assassin rules the bad land.
Lucky number seven in our countdown is Dark Assailant. We're specifically told he (she?) rules "sinisterly", so there can be no doubt of its malicious ways. I don't know what powers the Psycho Sword has, why the ruler of a land works as an assassin, or what exactly the "bad land" is, but I'm not sure I'd want to find out.
6. Labryinth Wall
Description: These walls form a labyrinth with no exit for enemies.
Wow, thanks, Labyrinth Wall's card description. Never could have guessed a monster named "Labryinth Wall" had walls that form a labyrinth. Glad you spelled that out for us.
But in all seriousness, the description here conjures images of being alone in an endless maze with no possible escape. Can you imagine a more isolated, melancholy end?
5. Megasonic Eye
Description: Made of mysterious metal, this monster is a doomsday machine from the edge of the universe.
Ha, look at this dork. Hey, Cyclops, why don't you go get someone to draw you some actual limbs?
Wait, you're telling me this thing's made of an unknown element, works as a doomsday machine, and originates from the edge of the universe? Holy cow, I'm never gonna pick on another one-eyed being again.
4. Ancient Jar
Description: A very fragile jar that contains something ancient and dangerous.
What kind of weak, freaking 400 attack point loser gets stuck in a pot? Pretty pathetic, Ancient Jar.
Seriously though, what an ominous description. An "ancient and dangerous" being is held within this "very fragile" jar. Sounds like a magical seal holding back some unknown demon is slowly breaking - and who knows what the world will face when it collapses?
3. The Judgement Hand
Description: An all-powerful hand that delivers ruthless attacks.
The Judgement Hand's description is surprisingly clear-cut. It's ruthless; likely unforgiving of the errors that we've all made. It's all-powerful; you can't beat it. And it's a hand; hopefully it practices proper fingernail hygiene.
Look, I'm not trying to defy your description here, Mr. Hand, but for an "all-powerful" being, you've only got 1400 attack? Heck, Cure Mermaid has more attack than you.
Don't mess with Cure Mermaid.
2. Spiral Serpent
Description: When huge whirlpools lay cities asunder, it is the hunger of this sea serpent at work. No one has ever escaped its dreaded Spiral Wave to accurately describe the terror they experienced.
I reveal Spiral Serpent's ultimate power: its card description is an astoundingly detailed, hereto unseen two sentences long.
But really, this thing's pretty scary. Its hunger apparently causes it to lay cities asunder with huge whirlpools. Plus, it uses some sort of terrifying technique called "Spiral Wave" that nobody has ever escaped. Not sure how we know about it, since no one's escaped to tell us, but we do, and dadgummit, it's terrifying stuff, I tell you!
1. Divine Dragon Ragnarok
Description: A legendary dragon sent by the gods as their instrument. Legends say that if provoked, the whole world will sink beneath the sea.
Number one.. Divine Dragon Ragnarok.
Mythology buffs probably recognize the name Ragnarok; in Norse mythology, this is the name of the prophesied worldwide great battle that will erupt and ultimately result in the end of the Earth. So, we've already got that for a spooky start. Provoke this guy a single time, and we can kiss our world goodbye.
In other words, put four sugars into his coffee instead of his normal five, and it's sunken world time.
But perhaps even scarier is that Ragarok is sent to us "by the gods as their instrument". Thoughts don't come much scarier than living in a world created by gods who are willing to wipe out our entire species for the slightest of errors.
Wow, we got pretty deep today for a countdown of a children's card game. Hopefully we'll continue to see more creepy monsters from Yu-Gi-Oh to examine. Let me know which of today's monsters you find scariest, and I'll see you at our next dastardly venture.
If you want a break from all this death and eternal suffering, feel free to stare below at Bunilla, the carrot-loving rabbit, for as long as you like. We all have our guilty pleasures.
Description: This rabbit's got a sweet tooth! He's on a quest for the world's sweetest carrot, and just wants to nibble carrots all day today, tomorrow, and the day after that!
Andy on April 20, 2016:
Who overthrew Dark King of Abyss? It wa Ha Des, check Spell Card Demotion.