Wargame: Red Dragon Haikus
I got into making haikus recently after reading an excellent book on Japanese literature. I admit I don't think my haikus are very good, since to my understanding the focus of a haiku as explained in the book is that they, in addition to the structural requirements, should ideally focus on conveying a sense of both permanence and yet also of a singular moment, and of course I only made occasional efforts at actually rhyming, since I have no idea how haiku rhyming structures should go. But when idly doing the haikus, initially for my job, it made me think of what sort of other subjects could have them - and what I thought of doing was a selection of haikus about units in my favorite (and only) video game, Wargame: Red Dragon. So without further ado, here it is!
Well, that was a lie, since it needs an additional disclaimer. The pronunciation of some of these units is key to them still fitting into the 5 - 7 - 5 layout of haikus. For example, the M270 ATACMS is generally pronounced not a-t-c-m-s but rather ah-taa-kens. Some units required a pronunciation that is optional, but not used otherwise, such as the SU-35 being suuuu-35 instead of S-U-35, but I figured that this was acceptable to make it work.
Also unless if you play the game and are fairly active in its culture, most of these references simply won't make sense.
Buratino
The hammer of Stalin
Wound up for its fiery strike
The BUR-A-TI-NO!
Erikoisrajajääkäri
Unpronounceable
Finnish scout terminators
Unseen Erikoi
Milan ATGM
Jets of flame creep close
Spiraling towards target
The Milan misses
HQ-7
Really not a copy
Finest Chinese engineering
Proud HQ-7
Mi-24
Rambo stood no chance
Apocalypse now resounds
Mi-24
M84-AN
Invisible hunter
Prowling the dappled tree line
M-84AN
F-111C
Australian airstrike
Tactical crocodiles drop
Inf evaporates
Bkan 1C
Machine gun rattle
Bkancer obliterates
The FOB is empty
OH-1 Ninja
Unseen predator
Sneaky eye in the sky peers
The Ninja observes
Mot-Schützen
Unstoppable wave
Of steel rifles and iron men
Mot-schützen murder
NASAMS and SU-27
SU-27
NASAMS' bolts darken the sky
Each missile misses
The dear leader’s joy
Oh flying horseman of death
B-5’s atomic bomb
RSPVO Neva MIT
Oh foolish birds of war
No black bombers over Balkans
Neva MIT targets
M270 ATACMS
Bolt from the blue
The assassin of communists
ATACMS snipe
VTT-323 Hwasung Chong
Cloud of missiles fly
Stabilized by the dear leader
Hwasung-Chong protects
Bushranger
A thousand tiny cuts
Fell even the greatest hero
Bushranger - David
Light Riflemen
Paint lightly scratched
Turret swivels for revenge
Poor light riflemen!
M24
From Steel Division
The protector of the North
M24 - sad!
Lu Zhandui
It’s made in China
But also more expensive
Lu Zhandui - what point?
Rover Wombat
Wombats to combat!
Against the kangaroo hordes
The battle clarion sounds
Chasseurs
They can’t shoot, can’t flee
Soviet tanks kill with glee
Chasseurs massacred
Otomatic
Praise Shiva’s sickle
Machine, flesh, or bird reaped
Otomatic victory
Padobranci '90
So riddle me this,
What’s 2006, but years soon?
Padobranci - boom!
AMX-13
Pew pew pew pew pew
Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew
AMX-13
Rafale C F1
Hon hon hon says duck
Stealthily patrols the sky
Rafale underpriced
M270 LRM
No Parisian belle
Every stunned so many men
M270
Moderna
Vaccinates all foes
By shot and shell cleanses
Doctor Moderna
F-117 Nighthawk
Darkest moonless night
An unseen predator prowls
Assassin Nighthawk
Maglan
Unmatched - speed of light
An iron law of physics
Maglan exceeds it
Riflemen + M113
Hawaii’s staple
Spam is delicious meatshield
Riflemen boxes
BM-24 (napalm)
Crimson fire flowers
Only tickle mankind’s flesh
BM-24
AMX-10P
In the shadow cast
By the Panzer-Marder tree
AMX-10P
Legion
The feeble sapling
Dreams of being a mighty tree
Base Legion - unused
AMX-13 VTT
Batten the hatches
The réserviste ouragan
AMX-13
VAB
As fast as lightning
As fragile as spring blossoms
Stoic VAB attacks
Highlanders '90
Maple syrup tears
Wine so unjustly better
Legion - Highlanders
Wiesel
The front line is far
Carcasses blanket the road
Wiesel - out of fuel
AMX-10 RC
Go-kart of death
French zippy unseen killer
AMX-10
