Wargame: Red Dragon Haikus

I got into making haikus recently after reading an excellent book on Japanese literature. I admit I don't think my haikus are very good, since to my understanding the focus of a haiku as explained in the book is that they, in addition to the structural requirements, should ideally focus on conveying a sense of both permanence and yet also of a singular moment, and of course I only made occasional efforts at actually rhyming, since I have no idea how haiku rhyming structures should go. But when idly doing the haikus, initially for my job, it made me think of what sort of other subjects could have them - and what I thought of doing was a selection of haikus about units in my favorite (and only) video game, Wargame: Red Dragon. So without further ado, here it is!

Well, that was a lie, since it needs an additional disclaimer. The pronunciation of some of these units is key to them still fitting into the 5 - 7 - 5 layout of haikus. For example, the M270 ATACMS is generally pronounced not a-t-c-m-s but rather ah-taa-kens. Some units required a pronunciation that is optional, but not used otherwise, such as the SU-35 being suuuu-35 instead of S-U-35, but I figured that this was acceptable to make it work.

Also unless if you play the game and are fairly active in its culture, most of these references simply won't make sense.

Buratino

The hammer of Stalin

Wound up for its fiery strike

The BUR-A-TI-NO!

Erikoisrajajääkäri

Unpronounceable

Finnish scout terminators

Unseen Erikoi

Milan ATGM

Jets of flame creep close

Spiraling towards target

The Milan misses

HQ-7

Really not a copy

Finest Chinese engineering

Proud HQ-7

Mi-24

Rambo stood no chance

Apocalypse now resounds

Mi-24

M84-AN

Invisible hunter

Prowling the dappled tree line

M-84AN

F-111C

Australian airstrike

Tactical crocodiles drop

Inf evaporates

Bkan 1C

Machine gun rattle

Bkancer obliterates

The FOB is empty

OH-1 Ninja

Unseen predator

Sneaky eye in the sky peers

The Ninja observes

Mot-Schützen

Unstoppable wave

Of steel rifles and iron men

Mot-schützen murder

NASAMS and SU-27

SU-27

NASAMS' bolts darken the sky

Each missile misses

The dear leader’s joy

Oh flying horseman of death

B-5’s atomic bomb

RSPVO Neva MIT

Oh foolish birds of war

No black bombers over Balkans

Neva MIT targets

M270 ATACMS

Bolt from the blue

The assassin of communists

ATACMS snipe

VTT-323 Hwasung Chong

Cloud of missiles fly

Stabilized by the dear leader

Hwasung-Chong protects

Bushranger

A thousand tiny cuts

Fell even the greatest hero

Bushranger - David

Light Riflemen

Paint lightly scratched

Turret swivels for revenge

Poor light riflemen!

M24

From Steel Division

The protector of the North

M24 - sad!

Lu Zhandui

It’s made in China

But also more expensive

Lu Zhandui - what point?

Rover Wombat

Wombats to combat!

Against the kangaroo hordes

The battle clarion sounds

Chasseurs

They can’t shoot, can’t flee

Soviet tanks kill with glee

Chasseurs massacred

Otomatic

Praise Shiva’s sickle

Machine, flesh, or bird reaped

Otomatic victory

Padobranci '90

So riddle me this,

What’s 2006, but years soon?

Padobranci - boom!

AMX-13

Pew pew pew pew pew

Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew

AMX-13

Rafale C F1

Hon hon hon says duck

Stealthily patrols the sky

Rafale underpriced

M270 LRM

No Parisian belle

Every stunned so many men

M270

Moderna

Vaccinates all foes

By shot and shell cleanses

Doctor Moderna

F-117 Nighthawk

Darkest moonless night

An unseen predator prowls

Assassin Nighthawk

Maglan

Unmatched - speed of light

An iron law of physics

Maglan exceeds it

Riflemen + M113

Hawaii’s staple

Spam is delicious meatshield

Riflemen boxes

BM-24 (napalm)

Crimson fire flowers

Only tickle mankind’s flesh

BM-24

AMX-10P

In the shadow cast

By the Panzer-Marder tree

AMX-10P

Legion

The feeble sapling

Dreams of being a mighty tree

Base Legion - unused

AMX-13 VTT

Batten the hatches

The réserviste ouragan

AMX-13

VAB

As fast as lightning

As fragile as spring blossoms

Stoic VAB attacks

Highlanders '90

Maple syrup tears

Wine so unjustly better

Legion - Highlanders

Wiesel

The front line is far

Carcasses blanket the road

Wiesel - out of fuel

AMX-10 RC

Go-kart of death

French zippy unseen killer

AMX-10