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Needing Your Space

Olabisi is a student at Covenant University, Nigeria. She is an introvert and loves spending time in her room most of the time.

It Seems Mean At First

Many people like me find solace in being alone and doing things solo. It doesn't mean we don't love our family and friends, but we still need to make room for our thoughts. I remember a time when I went to my room and decided to stay there for a while. My sister came around and made herself comfortable. I felt a little weird because I wanted to be alone, but I didn't want her to feel like I was chasing her away. That's what I ended up doing, anyway, and her feelings got hurt a little.

I know I could have handled the situation better, but I think people need to understand that needing your space has nothing to do with other people around you. The feeling of being alone (not feeling alone, by the way) is a real high, I tell you. It allows you to reflect on life and think deeply. I've been able to get a lot of stuff done by removing myself from the outside world and getting my mind engaged in productive things.

Maybe making time for yourself alone isn't just for introverts, after all.


dashingscorpio from Chicago on October 15, 2020:

Needing your own space is easier to arrange when you have your own space.

Another option is go someplace where you can be alone for the most part (jogging/working out with your headphones on, finding a nice corner spot in a library, taking a stroll in park or on the beach.)

When you live alone it's just a matter of turning off your phone and other devices to shut out the outside world.

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On the other hand when you share a space with someone it's probably unrealistic to expect them to know you're not in the mood to be around them. The only exception is if you have a designated day and time everyone is aware of that you use for meditation/reading or whatever else. Generally people will respect your wishes if you will give them a little heads up beforehand.

Hurt feelings arise when you "spontaneously" shout out: "I need my space!" If you were to have told your sister you had a crappy day and just want to head to your room to take a nap or chill out for a couple of hours.... odds are she would have said okay and left you alone.

Communication ahead of time can make life easier for everyone.

Taking a minute to go over things in your head and contemplating how others might react (before you say anything) is always wise.

"While we are free to choose our actions we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions." - Stephen R. Covey

Olabisi Olaoye (author) from Lagos on October 14, 2020:

Hi, let me know your thoughts and opinions. I'd really appreciate the feedback!

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