I love food. There is no time or way to explain the reason why. It is like breathing. I think. All I know is that food is great.
I'm No Voice-Impersonator
much less Julio Halegious, Willie Nelson or Rich Little, so do not get confused about my headline. It's catchy. It's hip. A headline that I've searched looked to find for several months. And there it is. I might cry. Things like my headline only come very rarely in (a) lifetime. I still might cry. And I've ever heard Rich Little singing. Yep. I'm in tears.
This headline also does not imply that I only dated girls who had a talent for cooking. Athough that might have worked, but my mind was on work, money, and having a lasting relationship with a lovely girl and I would not ask for any strings to be put on her. I was ahead of my own time. The Feminist Movement (Hanoi Jane was still Jane Fonda here) had not really started out, on the Fast Tracks, so my thinking up here was ahead of my time, wouldn't you say?
There has come "this" time in my life when I just have to unload. If I don't, I just might consume a 10-pound turkey. Hunger and unloading a burden can cause one to get instantly and amazingly hungry. Right! I've went over the ledge. Not even Jenny Craig can help me now, much less Marie Osmond.
So I Will Wheel-Along And
spill my guts and see where it gets me. Not that I'm an "Ego Monster," it's I can surf page-after-page of great articles written by great, talented writers who are on HubPages, and after I finish reading, I feel really feeling less self-worth than I know the Hub writers feel. But life is what it is. And believe me, this is not a Q&A about "Advice For The Broken Heart, with Sally Snuggins." No, sir. This is me. All of me. Rats! Another Red Haired Stranger song.
I have learned over the yeas that it takes all kids, colors,and behavioral make-up's to weave the Grand Tapestry of Life, so I should't feel bad because that I'm only a small length of thread. Isn.t it nice how I can self-motivate myself when I begin to feel bad?
Saves a ton of scratch. Anyway, let's move on.
And Get to The Matters at Hand
such as my headline that speaks how I'm givig thanks to all of the girls who cooked for me. Yes, I also include first, my lovely wife Pam, who has yet to cook a dish that I couldn't stand. Then there are the rest. Some girls have cooked things for me that I barely got down (the mark of a tough guy) and then, there are the girls who cooked for me and the dishes almost made me sick. (the mark of a foolish guy).
I will tell you as much as I can whiteout going into illicit details.
But I will let you in on (some) of the details surrounding my main point: something so mysterious about a pretty girl who is cooking, that it defies logic. In shot, this brand of thinking has no answer that can be talked about in the local country club. So do not read the following and get a painful headache, so speed by the text and the main idea will hopefully stick and then flourishing.
There's just something (close to "an Aqua Velva man," commercial) about a dedicated pretty girl who doesn't mind getting a little flour on her new dress in order to take a perfect cake from the oven. See how she beams with happiness? This is one of the things that I love about a pretty girl who loves to cook.
Appearance is Close to Being All
of the answer that I seek. Just imagine. There she is, a gorgeous blonde, brunette or Ginger dressed in a nice dress with a white apron standing near her microwave and smiling because she has just cooked a nice bowl of delicious soup. Most men would "wolf it down" even though she forgot how to adjust the microwave to 'heat' the soup-- her great looks play a big part in why I, and other guys, are just enamored by her looks, not necessarily how much we measure her cooking ability.
But don't discount her personality when it comes to forging a lasting-relationship.
But both partners must have working behaviors as well as attitudes. If the girl has obviously-failed at cooking her soup, then does not put herself down, but instantly goes back to start over with the other partner's support, will have a lasting-relationship. Her long blonde, brunette, or Ginger hair will go a long way.
Then you have her physical abilities will also figure into my view of a lasting-relationship because I get nervous when a pretty girl stumbles and drops things (that I could have eaten) and sets fire to the microwave, but smiles that smile all during the calamities, well, she can pass my test due to the fact that my compassion came to her aid.
When it Comes to a Girl in The Kitchen . . .
did you also realize that if you are blessed to run into a pretty girl who is also an excellent cook, just imagine what you would say if you met a girl like this, and . . .she was so multi-tasked at her cooking talent that she could carry-on an intelligent conversation with you and your brother while you two are sitting her kitchen? I am honest. Some relationships such as this one, can work. I hear that the Harvard School of Medicine is graduating more and more female doctors.
So, be patient. Go to a local community college, take a cooking class, and then you will be in gear for when "she" walks into your life. So why learn to cook, you ask? Well. In all honesty, when you and "the" girl meet and nature takes its course, she will be the first to commit a cooking error, but with your slick tongue, you can slip into the suggestion and both you and her will look great.
An Account of The Girls Who've Cooked For Me:
First there was Patricia, a girl who I worked with. We were fast-friends and when Christmas rolled about, she made the best "Rice Krispy Treats," or something like That. Upon my suggestion, she showed-up and sprung them on me. Oh, yes. She was a bang-up typesetter as we both worked at our local newspaper. Another girl that I loved was Joy. She was our manager. She cooked some "Pigs in The Poke," and I almost ate them up before our Christmas party.
This timeframe was during our first crew circa 1977-1978.
Another crew I worked with circa 1989 - 1992, and with a great joy, was Rena. She was our accountant and she cooked me a fantastic batch of "Home-made Sausage Balls," and once again, I almost ate the entire batch. (I hate that word, batch. But at this late hour, I just do not care). Then in circa 1993- 1999, a woman named, Christy, one of our reporters, made the best dessert, "Peppermint Hand-pies," and they were so good that I gained over, uhhh, a few pounds.
So here's to you . . .Patricia; Joy; Rena and Christy, thank you all sincerely, for all of the work in your kitchens and producing such great dishes for me to eat (much of) them. I will never pay you enough.
I cannot forget my lovely Pam, my wife for 45 years and this is what I seriously-believe: God in His infinite wisdom, truly gave her so many gifts, and the MAIN gift, cooking. I can testify to this statement. Just look at the pounds that I have gained. (Thanks, Kenneth.)
Maybe the reason that these "other" pretty girls loved to cook for me was my devastating nice looks.
April 16, 2021____________________________________________________
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© 2021 Kenneth Avery
MG Singh emge from Singapore on April 18, 2021:
Wonderful article and enjoyed reading it. I have some experience as I have a lovely live-in girlfriend who is a good cook and it's a pleasure to watch her cook. Thank you, sir.