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Testicle Festivals

Author:

I love everything weird and colorful in this world and I try to live a life that will make the world a little better once I'm gone.

Used with permission

Used with permission

At The Testicle Festival, You'll Have A Ball!

Eating bull testicles (or sheep, pig, goat, or even turkey) is no new thing. They have long been a delicacy and, now, Testicle Festivals are growing in popularity each year in the United States and Canada.

A Testicle Festival is certain to bring out fun people willing to have a good time and try new things. Live a little!

Keep and open mind, and taste some testes. Who knows? You might just love 'em!

After all, you're sure to have a ball at a testicle festival!

The Euphemisms

Other Terms for Rocky Mountain Oysters

These testicles are also referred to as:

  • fry (lamb, calf, turkey, rooster, pig, bull, etc.)
  • rocky mountain oysters
  • Montana tendergroin
  • cowboy caviar
  • bulls jewels
  • barnyard jewels
  • farm oysters
  • swinging beef
  • Animelles - fr. (testicles)
  • bollocks
  • swinging sirloin
  • beef balls
  • prairie oysters

Would you? - Are Testicles for You?

Testies Recipes - How to Cook Testicles

I know by now your mouth is watering for a handful of testicles, so you have two choices...find a festival, or make them yourself. If you chose the latter then you will probably need a little help in how to prepare them (unless of course it is an old family recipe).

How To Clean Your Rocky Mountain Oysters

Beef Testicles

Beef Testicles

Ingredients

  • 2 pounds bull testicles (or lamb/sheep;calf;or turkey testicles)
  • 1 cup flour
  • 1/4 cup cornmeal
  • 1 cup red wine
  • salt
  • pepper
  • garlic powder to taste
  • Louisiana Hot Sauce
  • hog lard (or cooking oil)
  • tbsp vinegar
Prep timeCook timeReady inYields

1 hour 20 min

20 min

1 hour 40 min

4 people

Instructions

  1. Using a sharp knife, split the tough skin-like muscle that that is around each "oyster". One trick is to freeze the testicles and then when they are thawing, complete this task. You may want to watch one of the demonstration videos on youtube to see how best to get this done.
  2. Place the testicles in pan of salt water - just enough to cover them. Let this set for an hour or so (to remove some of the blood).
  3. Drain them off and move 'em to a big pot. Add enough water that they can float, along with the vinegar. Parboil. Drain and rinse them off, then set to cool.
  4. Slice each "oyster" into 1/4 inch thick pieces and salt and pepper both sides to taste (but don't taste just yet).
  5. Mix up the flour, cornmeal and garlic powder in a bowl. Dip a slice in milk, and then into the dry mixture. Then quickly dip into wine. Do this quickly so you don't loose the coating that is already on it. If you want a thicker crust, repeat these steps. Do this for each slice.
  6. Immediately place the little suckers into hot cooking oil, and then add the Louisiana Hot Sauce directly onto the oil.
  7. Cook until they're golden brown or tender. Don't overcook them or they'll get tough. I like to set them on a plate with a paper towel under them to absorb some of the unneeded oil for a moment until serving. Yummy!Photo by RLEVENS

Testicle Festival Official Websites - Find a Testy Festy near you!

These festivals and many others run annually gathering crowds from hundreds of miles away. Who can't resist fried testicle kabobs?

May I Have a Word Origin?

The word 'testicle' comes from a Latin word that means witness, 'testis'. The word 'testament' is derived from the same word. In the Roman Empire, only males were allowed to testify. The penalty for perjury was castration. This could be the link between the words. Another theory is that they "bear witness" to one's virility.

Why Would You Eat That?

Two Fat Ladies

Two Fat Ladies

Penis Stew - (slightly off-topic, I know)

Possibly of interest to testicle connoisseurs is Penis Stew.

This recipe is taken from The Two Fat Ladies, Full Throttle by Clarissa Dickson and Jennifer Paterson (New York, Clarkson Potter, c1998, page 101). The ladies say this was originally a Jewish recipe from Marcelle Thomal. Innards, including penis, once played a major role in Jewish cooking.

I have adapted the recipe with some helpful tips.

Prep timeCook timeReady inYields

20 min

3 hours 10 min

3 hours 30 min

4 Seriously Deranged Individuals

Ingredients

  • 1 pound of penis of ram or bull (I'm not certain where you would buy this...the butcher may look at you funny if you ask)
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 large chopped onion
  • 2 garlic cloves
  • peeled and chopped
  • 1 teaspoon coriander seeds (crushed)
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • freshly ground black pepper

Instructions

  1. Start off by scalding the penis, and then draining and cleaning it. (Try not to do this in front of your window so you can face your neighbors in the morning.) Place the penis in a saucepan of appropriate size, and just cover it with cold water.
  2. Bring it to a boil, and while you're waiting fill a glass with cold water and set it next to the stove.
  3. Go back to your saucepan and remove any scum that has developed. (While doing this, it may occur to you that you are skimming penis scum and you may throw up in your mouth. If this occurs, rinse your mouth with the glass of cold water and continue.)
  4. Simmer the penis for 10 minutes. Drain and slice.
  5. Heat the oil in a large skillet and add the onion, garlic and coriander. Fry until the onion is golden, then add the penis slices (yes, the phrase penis slices makes me giggle, too) and fry on both sides for a few minutes. Stir in the remaining ingredients and gift it a good grinding of pepper. Add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil.
  6. Now, lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about two hours, or until tender. You may beed to add just a little water from time to time to prevent burning.
  7. Plate it up and feast!

Testicle Festival Accessories

How fun would it be to pay for your Rocky Mountain Oysters and beer with the money in your kangaroo scrotum pouch?!?!?!


I mean, come on!


You would be the king of the testy festy for sure!

Guestbook - What are you thinking?

kurtkenobi on August 07, 2013:

I have had my share of different foods, I don't know. Thank for a great lens.

Dawn Romine from Nebraska on February 04, 2013:

The restaurant where my daughter works has a testicle festival every June. Of course commemorative shirts. They've been doing this for twenty years. I finally went a couple years back and they aren't bad. Taste pretty good. Was going to do a lens on this but I see you beat me to it. Thanks for stopping by on my plantar fasciitis site.

mwiener on February 01, 2013:

@kerbev: They're delicious... What if I cook it the right way, serve it to you... I'm sure you'll love how it taste. Of course, I won't be telling you what is it while you're eating. I'll you later when you already digested it.

mwiener on February 01, 2013:

@johnsja: As for me, there is no need to research. We eat it... I've been eating it since I was a kid. The taste great as long as it is cook the right way. Of course, different people have different taste.

mwiener on February 01, 2013:

They're delicious. However, if you're not familiar with it, you cannot swallow it. Cook it right, you'll love it.

MrsNagrom on January 22, 2013:

I'm thinking.... wow. (I'm speechless) lol

and yet, strangely, I'm now hungry. Great Lens!

eccles1 on November 21, 2012:

I used to watch the two ladies cooking on TV they were funny and you never knew what they would cook,most of the time it was recipes I have never seen or heard about.

In Spain after the bullfight they cook up theTesticle. the bull never stands a chance.

MichaelDubrovnik on October 29, 2012:

Balls up, pal! Taste it.

johnsja on October 14, 2012:

Yuck! Novel lens though! I bet you had fun researching!

dragonlildragon on October 08, 2012:

fascinating lens. Very cool and interesting.

Kerri Bee (author) from Upstate, NY on September 25, 2012:

@goldenrulecomics: eeeewww. al dente?

goldenrulecomics from New Jersey on September 25, 2012:

I accidentally ordered some while testing out my Spanish in Chile. They were served with pasta in a sauce and were pretty good.

LaurenIM on September 21, 2012:

I'm not a guy but I grimaced throughout this lens. LOL!

Peter Badham from England on September 11, 2012:

Hello kab, You have a great lens! I'm sure I'll be trying this in Spain when I'm next there!

I have set up a brand new lens which tells you the basic core ingredients for different cooking styles, ie, Southern, Indian, Spanish etc. I have personally chosen you as one of the contenders in a little competition Iâm doing. Under each list is a poll asking if you can think of recipes and dishes to create, using some of the ingredients, plus others of your own ingredients, ie meat, fish pasta etc. There are different tasks for each section, ie a Vegetarian Chinese recipe, or a Chicken Curry recipe etc.

You can then put your recipe name in the voting poll further down with a link to the recipe (which might be on your lens) creating more traffic for you. Once I have received the first 10 links and recipes I will start a 15 day countdown. The top 3 voted for recipes at the end of this period will be placed as a permanent link on my Lens.

I have posted the first link âGordan Ramsays Chicken Curryâ, lets see if the public like one of your recipes more than his.

I do hope you would like to participate in my little competition. The Squidoo lens is http://www.squidoo.com/essential-kitchen-food-ingr...

Peterb6001

Ellen Brundige from California on August 11, 2012:

Rocky mountain oysters are actually quite tasty, although I've only had them once.

Kangaroo scrotum bags: well, I'm glad they're good for SOMETHING. I have to admit, I couldn't help noticing the ridiculous danglies on the underside of kangaroos when I visited Down Under; they don't show up in the picture books.

Very effective page title; I couldn't help clicking. (WHAT?!)

intermarks on July 29, 2012:

I think one mush be really brave to eat an animal's testicle. I probably will eat it unless I do not know it is testicle.

anonymous on July 28, 2012:

Interesting festival but I would probably not try this.

CristianStan on July 27, 2012:

How can you guys stomach the idea of eating testicles? I just can't do it...

gadgetchecker on July 23, 2012:

that was painful to read and watch... yeoowch..

hlkljgk from Western Mass on July 15, 2012:

nice accessories ;)

Kiwisoutback from Massachusetts on July 14, 2012:

This took real balls to publish this lens. Sorry, I had to say that. I have to ask: have you eaten this?

Melissa Miotke from Arizona on July 08, 2012:

This is a very unique topic. I enjoyed it:)

YogaAngel on June 30, 2012:

Fantastic lens! Disgusting topic! LOL

ccsonian on June 15, 2012:

I think that this may be one of those foods you need to grow up with just because of the gross factor. LOL

markadamdouglass on June 07, 2012:

Love the lens... but could never enjoy the food...

Deadicated LM on June 04, 2012:

Funny (not so much for the bull); your Lens Intro's Title made me laugh out loud. Thanks I needed that ;-)

piarejuden on June 03, 2012:

This was so interesting AND hilarious!! Congrats on the purple star and Cheers! Nope..I wouldn't have them!!

CameronPoe on June 03, 2012:

I wouldn't mind trying it just so I can say "I did it."

Keith Winter from Spain on June 03, 2012:

I have eaten them several time since living in Spain, but I not so sure about "Penis Stew."

miaponzo on June 02, 2012:

I'm back for a blessing and an EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

robertzimmerman2 on June 02, 2012:

I guess I'd eat anything to survive but these are not on my "bucket List". Great Lens though, made me laugh.

CapnFatz on June 02, 2012:

Man... I searched for "Testival Festical" and THIS popped up! Now I'm going to have nightmares about simmering penises!

George V Tucker from Hollywood FL USA on June 02, 2012:

Penis and other offal (think chitlins, brains, kidneys, etc.) are really common ingredients in traditional poor-people recipes. Sometimes there's a particularly lovely flavor or texture involved. Other times it's just a case of "we ate whatever we could afford."

I always laugh when I see high-end restaurants offering these dishes that evolved out of necessity and poverty.

Thanks for the interesting lens!

MaryThereseBenn on June 02, 2012:

Ugggggghhhhhh!

khjunaid on June 02, 2012:

Even ones you will eat those testicles, you will get highest level of energy..................

IMKZRNU2 from Pacific Northwest on June 01, 2012:

Great lens....Brought a smile to my face =D

LoriBeninger on June 01, 2012:

I'm a pescatarian (and I don't think fish have testicles...?) so there's no way I would eat these. But what a great lens! Fun, informative, and well crafted. Shocking, it's true -- but it got my attention!

Tamara14 on June 01, 2012:

Ha ha ha ha! What a lens kab! I'm on the beginning of some weight loss diet before heading to the coast for the summer and I'm so hungry these days that I think I'd have no problem with the above meals whatsoever :) After all it's nothing compared to all those insects and snakes people eat in Asia and elsewhere right?

Budeni on May 31, 2012:

Such a fun article. Especially the synonyms at the beginning were hilarious! :-)

Country Sunshine from Texas on May 31, 2012:

Can't quit laughing! What a fun article!

Yes, I've eaten them. We don't have festivals for them, tho. Instead, someone just says 'hey, let's fry some catfish & calf fries', and the whole neighborhood turns out!

I think you need to add wine to the penis recipe. Possibly need to drink some while cooking!

**Blessed**

anonymous on May 31, 2012:

Theres no way in hell I would try these! Theres just somethings that weren't meant to be eaten.

I did enjoy the lens though...

Michelle from Central Ohio, USA on May 31, 2012:

Awesome lens! I don't eat them myself, but when we castrate calves, the old farm dog runs right for them. She loves them fresh and raw. First time my son ever saw her snap one up, he about lost his lunch but now he calls for her when he's "assisting". Good times!

gold3 on May 31, 2012:

Sadly, I had to admit in the poll above that I have had Rocky Mountain Oysters. I honestly thought my husband was ordering meatballs (in Germany). He and his buddy were playing a joke. Not funny! But they didn't taste bad. :)

joannalynn lm on May 30, 2012:

Zut Moon wants to know if anyone else has "the balls" to sign a petition against this testicle lens. Hmmm. Having been connected to a ranching family for 25 years, and lived near ranch lands all my life, Rocky Mountain Oysters (as we call them) are nothing new to me. I have always wondered why ranchers call it "working" cattle when they castrate, de-horn, worm, and vaccinate cows. Well, I have seen the process from castration, to cooler, to kitchen, to table. However, your description of Penis Stew, which I have absolutely no interest in ever making or eating, is the best of this lens. I don't think it is that off topic...all a part of the same genitalia/reproductive system. Fun lens!

Whitwillow LM on May 30, 2012:

Great lens. Love those prairie oysters. Here in Australia they are the traditional treat after a day's mustering.

Corey from Massachusetts on May 30, 2012:

Never knew these things existed...ugh! Thanks for sharing this!

katieross on May 30, 2012:

I don't think I'm brave enough for this one, but it's VERY interesting!

anonymous on May 30, 2012:

What a weird idea for a lens, but it works!

anonymous on May 30, 2012:

As I keep kosher, I can't eat testicles, but I wouldn't, either, even if I could. The thought makes me queasy. Great lens, but not appetizing.

Zut Moon on May 30, 2012:

This lens should be outlawed !!! It's disgusting !!! Where is the form I fill out for Squidoo HQs ..... I'm going to send a petition around and see if anybody else has the balls to sign it ... LMBO

Ruthi on May 30, 2012:

Too funny to see this lens featured and I had to have a look and see! I have had mountain oysters, grilled on a BBQ! Bravo on the Squidoo Purple Star, too. I think this needs an LOTD for originality and fun, too! Blessings and a bit o' sunshine for having the balls to publish this creative page!

jmatts1 on May 30, 2012:

Great lens! Maybe I will try these at some point if I can get up the courage :)

nicks44 on May 30, 2012:

I do not know ... should this be tasty or ... Maybe a little bit of both ... :)

JodiFromFlorida on May 30, 2012:

Ewww yucky!

Cold0911 on May 29, 2012:

Looks like you had a ball writing this one.

nuck nuck

montanatravel52 on May 29, 2012:

I was born and raised in Montana, and know the Testicle Festival too well - I can't answer your poll question b/c doesn't have the right answer (yeah I've tried them, but hell no, never again!)! I'm so glad somebody else besides me knows about this and would actually write about it - great lens!

ps - I just recently mentioned the Testicle Festival in my OWN lens, OnlyInMontana...

Dana Marie from St. Peters, MO on May 29, 2012:

Sorry but that is plain DISGUSTING LOL! Nasty!! This is one of those things that make me wonder what would possess someone to even THINK of trying it :/

Northwestphotos on May 29, 2012:

Interesting lens, perhaps for a few, but I think I will pass on trying this eclectic meal! Thanks, but no thanks!

Dan from CNY on May 29, 2012:

I think I threw up in my mouth a little.........

Close2Art LM on May 29, 2012:

You know why they call me Christmas Tree? Because I got big balls! Blessed

rallo-smith on May 28, 2012:

Great lens! Congrats on the front page. I know people that have and do eat Rocky Mountain Oysters and I"m sure the hell not one of them.

Tarra99 on May 28, 2012:

Boy you gotta have balls to write a lens on this! ;P

Karen from U.S. on May 28, 2012:

Urghh!!! I'm laughing, but can't imagine myself eating testicles :-) When I scanned Squidoo's front page, I thought your title was "Tricycle Festivals". Hah, jokes on me :-)

eccles1 on May 28, 2012:

In Spain after they kill the poor bull in a bull fight a lucky person gets to eat the balls !! :( I used to watch on TV the 2 fat women they were great though I never tried anything they cooked

Beverly Rodriguez from Albany New York on May 28, 2012:

I'm pretty adventurous with food, but I don't know about this! Fun lens. Congrats on Front Page.

bossypants on May 28, 2012:

My dad belonged to a club where they had an annual Rocky Mountain Oyster Feed and I remember him trying to find a delicate way to explain to me what that meant. Oh, and women at the club were forbidden from eating the RM Oysters. I remember being torn between feminist outrage and scoffing "not exactly a line forming..."

Enjoyed your lens. I think you've covered all the bases, here!

UKGhostwriter on May 28, 2012:

Just had to pin it!!

http://pinterest.com/pin/85286986663718835/

anonymous on May 28, 2012:

double ewwww

biggking lm on May 27, 2012:

ewwwww

randomthings lm on May 27, 2012:

Very enjoyable lens!! Thanks for the laughs...but I'm still not trying them...lol

Peggy Hazelwood from Desert Southwest, U.S.A. on May 27, 2012:

I tried them once in a bar in Colorado. They were okay but I won't try them again. Just the thought...

Renaissance Woman from Colorado on May 27, 2012:

Hilarious! And yes, I have eaten Rocky Mt. Oysters. My dad used to help a lot of farmers during castration season. I think they must have paid him in oysters. Seems like a testicle festival would be a boisterous good time. Would certainly draw a certain kind of person. Intrepid types. I'm in.

WaynesWorld LM on May 25, 2012:

Tripe, head cheese, liver, tongue... I have ate darn near everything but eating nuts just seems.... nutty!

BarbaraCasey on May 25, 2012:

Haha... I was looking for a lens with food i didn't like (for a quest) and none of the sushi lenses was worth mentioning. A friend from Oklahoma told me about "bull balls" twenty-something years ago, but I never thought I'd see them on Squidoo. Cool lens and the Two Fat Ladies made my day.

anonymous on May 25, 2012:

Wow. This is so wrong on so many levels, for me that is.

Loraine Brummer from Hartington, Nebraska on May 24, 2012:

I've been to Mountain Oyster feeds, but I haven't been so hungry that I would eat them. Luckily other foods have been available at these functions for others like me. Makes liver sound delicious.

fullofshoes on May 24, 2012:

I can't even comment. All I can do is give this lens a big ~blessing~!

biminibahamas on May 02, 2012:

What a HOOT!!!!

anonymous on April 17, 2012:

I'll pass on this dish

anonymous on January 18, 2012:

Someone in my office was just talking about this dish the other day, funny how I ran across it this morning, way to spruce up your article on this topic!

bames24 lm on January 10, 2012:

oh dear... I may not be that brave... :)

sherioz on December 03, 2011:

Loved the Evan and Gareth video. Makes me glad I'm vegetarian.

LouisaDembul on November 02, 2011:

I would probably like it if I didn't know what it was! So far I have never eaten testicles, or any other related organ!

viscri8 on October 16, 2011:

I had the Penis Stew in Gaborone, Botswana -- The Red Lantern restaurant. I am familiar and I like testicles since long -- they are popular in my home country. There are however no testicles on sale here in South Africa where I am currently living -- in fact any other animal organs are most difficult to find. I enjoyed this lens -- and I bless it because I can! Keep well, all, and enjoy your testicles.

Tagsforkids on September 22, 2011:

LOL, you know with a title like that, one just HAS to look! While intriguing and tempting, I'm not sure I'm ready to try it... so that's no bull! :-)

anonymous on September 20, 2011:

@beardedbrian lm: Yes, I love testicles in the morning.

beardedbrian lm on September 20, 2011:

Great for breakfast!

Kylyssa Shay from Overlooking a meadow near Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA on September 10, 2011:

I don't know why eating testicles seems weirder than eating any other animal flesh but, yeah, it does. Interesting information about this craze. I had never heard of testicle festivals before.

AlleyCatLane on August 17, 2011:

EWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cocktailsexaminer on August 17, 2011:

Penis stew, lol! Great lens, this made me laugh!

GrinningFool on August 11, 2011:

Yumm! Ha! Just kidding! Great topic choice though and interesting lens!

OldStones LM on July 28, 2011:

Lol, Good Stuff

Bon Apetite

miaponzo on July 15, 2011:

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK :) :)

CalamariFritti on July 14, 2011:

Interesting lens. Pardon me while I stab my eyes out now...

:)

sukkran trichy from Trichy/Tamil Nadu on July 13, 2011:

i can't imagine these recipes. no way. but i have to thank you for this interesting read.

julietarot lm on July 01, 2011:

Great lens- it's the nuts!

anonymous on June 26, 2011:

Had a ball of a time reading your lens! Cool! ;)

Mandy from Montana on June 25, 2011:

Im thinking that was hilarious! Thanks for the good laugh!

phoenix arizona f on June 25, 2011:

I'm in the absolutely not, no way in hell camp. Nasty!

Iudit Gherghiteanu from Ozun on June 24, 2011:

Obviously, in Transylvania we eat bull balls, barbequed, even clotted blood, stew, not to mention brain of bull.it is all about cooking.Thank you to prove that i am right to like the bull or lamd testicles.