Grilled Cheese Sandwich Fun Facts
Your mortgage is paid off, your job secure, your halitosis cured; what's left to worry about?
Advances in grilled cheese sandwich technology offer unprecedented opportunities for life-affirming experiences. Never shy away from trying the Next Big Thing in grilled cheese. You may think you know what's up with pressed curds of milk between slabs of flour dough, but we beg to differ.
You're Supposed to Grate the Cheese
You need a cheese grater. The risk of grating skin off your knuckles is outweighed by the improvement in melting offered by shards of cheese. A slice will melt, sure, but probably after the bread has charred. You're left with a charred cheese sandwich, which is not the title of this article. Unfortunately, the cheese grater has been rated by Kitchen Sanitation Magazine as the 27th most difficult thing to clean up in the kitchen. Those people obviously need to go outside and play.
You Need to Slice Your Own Bread
Although bread manufacturers have invested millions of dollars to develop highly accurate slicing machines, no self-respecting grilled cheese chef wants pre-cut sandwich tops and bottoms. Proper toasted bread etiquette demands a knife sharp enough to cut through irony as well as crusty bread. Don't come home with a bag of Wonder Bread and expect to be inducted into the Grilled Cheese Hall of Fame.
'Murican Cheese Is The Best
Lotsa cheeses line supermarket dairy aisles. Each melts, eventually. Certainly you, as an independent grilled cheese consumer, may select appropriate sandwich contents. We here at The Institute for Melted Dairy Products on Bread heartily endorse American cheese as the sole choice for optimal consumption.
Cheddar is OK, also. Should you find yourself in the unfortunate condition of ordering Muenster on rye or even Colby on sourdough in order to close a big business deal, rest assured that you will not be judged. You will always find yourself welcome at the VFW Hall (Veterans of Fresh Windsor Red) kitchen.
You Can Order A Grilled Cheese Sandwich at a Drive-Through
If it's dark and you're in a town where no one knows your name, use the drive-through to satisfy your grilled cheese sandwich urges. Team it up with a cup of water and you have the ultimate Mexican prison hand meal. As an added bonus, most restaurants with drive-through windows also have ice machines. If asked, they will gladly plop a few cubes into your paper cup of watery goodness.
Sonic (the restaurant called Sonic, not the cooking speed or the classic hedgehog) grilled cheese sandwiches arrive in a little foil/paper bag. We wonder if the container cost more than the food it carries. Should the cheese be over melted, you may face a 2-handed chore if you want to actually separate the food from the container. This effort can be tricky once you're back on the freeway.
Wendy's will sell you a grilled cheese, but they don't know it yet. They offer a sandwich that inconveniently arrives with hamburger stuck in it; you can solve that problem. Ask the friendly voice behind the megaphone to prepare a plain cheeseburger with no meat. Don't try this unless you have a full tank of gas.
Good Cooks Comment on Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
We think that really famous people would have something to say about grilled cheese. We also think that they might sue us for defaming their chosen vocation, so vagueness becomes the order of the day...
Famous chef from New Orleans: I love grilled cheese sandwiches. I can get $47.50 for one at my restaurant.
Famous chef from New York: Grilled cheese? People only order it when we list it on the menu in French. When we do that, they sell like gâteaux chauds.
Famous chef from A Cable TV channel with the word 'Food' in it: We are currently developing a series called Grilled Cheese Iron Chef. The secret ingredient is the same every week. The pilot tests through the roof!
Famous Chef from The North Pole: My employees live on grilled cheese from the day after Thanksgiving until December 26th. They are great at toy making but lousy cooks.
nicomp really (author) from Ohio, USA on October 12, 2015:
Still not featured. It has all the HubPages cachet and none of the featured-ness.
nicomp really (author) from Ohio, USA on September 10, 2014:
Still an evergreen hub. Yay grilled cheese!
chew on November 22, 2013:
Should be on tv. No lie.
Cheesey on March 06, 2012:
Love the article. I'm hungry.
nicomp really (author) from Ohio, USA on May 09, 2011:
@BkCreative: Thank you for your kind words. Let's eat!
BkCreative from Brooklyn, New York City on May 09, 2011:
Now I want to open a restaurant I can name Le Grille Cheez - so I can become rich. Of course what I want more than ever right now is a grilled cheese. And it never occurred to me to grate the cheese but it makes soooo much sense - and yes some real bread - wow. The cheese must be melted quickly before the bread is ruined - oh it is such an art.
I can never thank you enough for this brilliant hub. Rated way up and more!
nicomp really (author) from Ohio, USA on May 03, 2011:
I had a grilled cheese today. Wasn't very good.
G. Cheese on March 05, 2011:
This makes me hungary
Nemingha on December 31, 2009:
I should not have read this hub so close to lunch but I bet you can guess what I'm going to have right now?
nicomp really (author) from Ohio, USA on December 21, 2009:
@the advice man: You're in the grilled cheese advice business, I trust.
I also wrote an entire article on the importance of doing laundry: https://hubpages.com/hub/The-Importance-of-Doing-L...
Ray R. Librandi from Central Va., U.S.A. on December 21, 2009:
I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't read it, Nicomp, but you wrote an entire article about grilled cheese sandwiches. Which I just so happen to love. Amazing. I must be in the wrong business. Keep 'em coming! :)
Carolyn Blacknall from Houston, Texas on December 20, 2009:
Best line: Wendy's will sell you a grilled cheese, but they don't know it yet. LOL. Very funny. So is this one of your Search Engine Optimized hubs? Good job!
nicomp really (author) from Ohio, USA on December 20, 2009:
@fishtiger58: Tomato is a great adjunct to the grilled cheese experience. Thanks!
fishtiger58 from Momence, Illinois on December 20, 2009:
Excellent facts about grilled cheese. Who knew. I like mine with a slice of tomato. Now I'm hungry.
breakfastpop on December 20, 2009:
Great hub and great comment Tom! I love grilled cheese and now I'm hungry.
Tom Whitworth from Moundsville, WV on December 20, 2009:
The real trick to making a good grilled cheese sandwich is the exact same trick as making good fried eggs. Keep the heat down on medium low and never add the top slice of bread until it time to flip it over. That way the cheese has a chance to melt before the bread chars, just like the eggs not burning before getting done. Right at the end of the fried eggs never never flip them. Turn the heat up and add a little water then cover and let the top steam.
nicomp really (author) from Ohio, USA on December 20, 2009:
@J Rosewater: A kindred spirit! Thanks for writing.
J Rosewater from Australia on December 20, 2009:
Now this is something, nicomp! I'm a from-scratch grilled cheese sandwich maker from way back, and this warmed the cockles of my heart. Off to the griller now.