Kenneth Avery is a Southern humorist with well over a thousand fans. The charm and wit in his writing span a nearly a decade.
If My Narrative About Lobster-Eating
wasn't enough, then this one will shock you for sure. I only use that term, for sure, when used in Super Bowl, World Series, and (the old) Dating Game with host, Jim Lagne. Other than these areas, I have found out that bacon, the sweet, alluring, all-American food has a back history and you may want to cover you eyes because young people do not need to learn the cold truth about bacon.
Wouldn't you know it? Based on the background of bacon, it was our buddies, the Romans who invented bacons by a process known of browning the meat and using pepper and wine to give it that distinctive flavor. See? I bet you were like me, "A Bacon Novice." I am. And not ashamed to admit it.
How many things can you think of that goes with bacon? Let's see . . .Bacon ad Eggs; Bacon and Cheese Burgers; Bacon Pizza; Bacon Taco; Bacon Submarine Subs; Bacon Bits (for salads); Bacon used for Shish Kabobs and Pulled Pork and Bacon Sandwich. And sugar, these delicious meat recipes are not even close to an all-inclusive list of bacon the "Uncrowned Queen of Bacon," may she reign from the Mardi Gras to the outdoor grills of good ol' boys in the southd
You Once Thought Like I Did Years Ago
that the sweet, tasty taste of bacon was only a shy, demure food next door, but no. We were all fooled. Sure looks that way. During all of the times when our eyes were on a football game or beauty pageant, bacon, without any skill, stole the spotlight behind our backs and look where we are today. Shamed, put down, and almost kicked from society at large.
But God please bless the pork producer's for without their hard work, we wouldn't have bacon. Or pork chops, ribs, and hey! I am talking about bacon and how "her" name has been written on many restaurant walls (with a Magic Marker) with something like, "for a great piece of food, visit 'Jeckyl's Bacon Barge,' call so and so. And do not use your real name.
That was long ago. Today, you and I can stroll-up to any restaurant and tell the wairer or waitress that "think that I'll have some of that tasty bacon, and please bring it uncooked because I love to live on the edge." Sure enough. The world does not turn with a solitary race, creed, color, nationality, or bacon recipe. Some connoisseurs of bacon will give it a rough time by frying it over an open flame or the grill. To each his own, I can only deduce.
"I'm just a hog about bacon!"
— Kenneth Avery (me)
Now Let Us See
how many folks carry the name bacon. First of all, the famous, Kevin Bacon, the noted actor; Sir Francis Bacon, famous explorer; Jenny Bacon and I'm sure that there are lots of people, both famous and commonplace with that famous moniker. Bacon. Just think of the influence that the name bacon carries. So threes this guy walking around in a hospital waiting room waiting for news about the birth of his first daughter. Soon, a nurse looks in and says, "sir, you have a new baby daughter" He grins. Then screams, "folks I have a new daughter, Jennifer Louise Bacon Burger," she will keep the Burger name alive here in 1776. Well, Don't be so judgmental. It might have happene
Have you thought about in the years ago, it was the man who "brought home the bacon," and from 1960 throughout 2021, both the female and male do the same work. This is a fact, friends. Then you have the comedy slang term, "you burned the bacon," when you made that mistake yesterday. Remember?
I Suppose That
I was trying my best to comparing bacon to an "easy woman" when this hub started. The comparisons did seem to fit. I guess that the old adage goes: just let some slice of bacon gets to be popular and all of the guys start chasing her." Ever heard that one?
I did find a few bacon-related terms: "bacon is proof that God wants us to be happy," Ben Franklin and Jim Gaffigan said, "the sound of bacon frying makes folks happy because it sounds like people applauding." I would go further, but these two were the only celebrity bacon experts that I found.
Get this, history buffs. Lincoln County, Kansas has a town named, Bacon, Kansas. And with this one, I have to go take a break. Did you know that there was a Bacon Queen in 2019? Yep. On Feb, 12, Michelle Yoshimura-Smith pleased the Iowa Bacon Royalty Judging Panel with her sheer talents and mastery of the bacon arts. She can easily toss a shuriken with precision accuracy, handle a bō staff, sing and play keys. She also not too shabby at peddling a Mario Kart. All hail our 2019 Bacon Queen, Michelle Yoshimura-Smith! Oh, Bacon!
And lest we forget Gwyneth Paltrow, the very talented film star. She said, "I'm not sure how healthy bacon is in general, but I know it's incredibly delicious."
Can you beat that?
Let's just have a BLT (almost forgot) and talk about the possibility of electing a "Bacon King."
April 01, 2021______________________________________________________
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© 2021 Kenneth Avery
DW Davis from Eastern NC on April 03, 2021:
When I had my first maple/bacon cupcake, I knew that bacon could indeed go with anything.
Don Bobbitt from Ruskin Florida on April 03, 2021:
Kenneth - As a Southern Boy myself, I can tell you that where I was raised (in the hills of Virginia) Pork (ergo Bacon) was everywhere in our diets. A Breakfast table was not complete without there being a plate of fried Bacon and yes, fried Sausage sitting there, waiting to be attacked by everyone.
Now, I call it my daily dose of Protein, but back then, it was how you filled your belly, backed up by biscuits and gravy and eggs.
Oh, and I do find it interesting that fast food restaurants now feel a need to add a couple of slices of fried Bacon to their burgers in order to add some semblance of taste.
Thanks for a good article! DON