Yenaros is an observant intellectual driven to better understand today's society in order to create peace and awareness.
Parents Don't Get It
No offense to any parents out there.
I can tell you from experience of being an adolescent, a teenager, and now a young adult that there is a lot that parents do not understand about their children, especially when it comes to academics. They hold these high expectations for their children because they believe that this is the best (and only) way for them to succeed in life. In their mind, you will accomplish nothing special without having significant academic success. Also, in their mind, they should not listen to you, the students who are actually in school taking the courses. They should listen to their own logic when many of them don't know anything about the education system other than their son or daughter's grades.
Parents don't understand that school isn't what it used to be when they went in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s. Even in the early 2000s. And, quite frankly, many parents talk about their education like they were a straight-A student. I don't know what source of information they read to come to the conclusion that their children need to be perfect in school to make it somewhere. Sure, a lot of A's are flashy when it comes to graduation perks and showing off to your friends. Parents can walk out of their homes and tell the people that they know "Look, my child got straight A's!" DOES IT REALLY MATTER THOUGH?
Parents Are Putting Too Much Pressure on their Children to Succeed
Yes, congrats! Your child got straight A's in school, and they got a perfect GPA. They most likely got a scholarship and they are heading off to one of the most prestigious colleges in the country. Isn't that exciting? Do you know what they got for all of their trouble of sleepless nights, semi-depression, and studying all day and every day? THE SAME PIECE OF PAPER THAT THE STUDENT TWO ROWS DOWN GOT WHO GRADUATED WITH A 2.3 GPA. All of that is for a piece of paper, nothing more. You can have every perk in the world, every gold cord, and every other honors award that your high school offers. It's going to matter for all of about A MONTH AND A HALF until your son or daughter steps into the "real world".
Putting all of that pressure on children doesn't do anything but stress them out. It provides no way for them to have any breathing room or even any flexibility inside or outside of school. This is one of the many reasons why so many young adults are so distant from their parents now. It's not that they don't love you, IT'S BECAUSE THEY FINALLY FEEL LIKE THEY'RE FREE. Do you know how good it feels to wake up in the morning when you have a test in college and realize that you don't have your mom or dad breathing down your neck about it? IT FEELS PHENOMENAL, MONUMENTAL EVEN. Do you how irritating it is to come home, knowing that your parents are going to say SOMETHING NEGATIVE about your grades before you even walk through the door? These same parents wonder why their children never come to them when they struggle in school or in their personal life.
Parents don't get that even though their child got into one of the top colleges around, it's not necessarily a good thing. If I had a chance to choose between USF or Yale, I'd choose USF. Why? Because what does Yale offer that USF doesn't besides a couple of majors I have no general interest in? Also, their tuition is WAY MORE than that of USF. I'm not paying for a name-brand, I'M PAYING FOR AN EDUCATION. It's like choosing between a brand new three-hundred-dollar pair of Jordan's and a one-hundred-dollar pair of Nike's. What will new Jordan's do that the Nike's won't do, besides decreasing the money in my wallet?
School Will Not Get Any Easier
Another thing is that SCHOOL IS NOT EASY. School has never been completely easy to handle, especially in recent years as the number of examinations has increased per semester and requirements for college continue to rise. I've been scolded when I've gotten C's and B's in high school. I know there have been many worse situations involving other fellow students. I'm not here to be nonchalant. EVERY SUBJECT IS CHALLENGING FOR SOMEONE. I'm tired of parents acting like we're supposed to be geniuses in school when we don't even use a majority of the things that we're taught at any point in our adult lives. For example, I'm a writer. At what point in my adult life will my knowledge of mitosis be of any use to me?
There are a lot of students who also do the best that they can to succeed. EVERY STUDENT IS NOT GOING TO PASS EVERY COURSE WITH AN A OR B.<-- I want that sentence to be on the front page of something because, maybe then, the parents' eyes will finally be opened to realism, not just what they want or expect.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2019 Yenaros
dashingscorpio from Chicago on November 24, 2019:
"Parents can walk out of their homes and tell the people that they know "Look, my child got straight A's!" - Very true!
Most parents want to BRAG about their children's achievements.
Truth be told it's really not so much the academics has changed as much as the "social media" and other non related class activities.
There was a time if a child was being bullied his/her parents could transfer them to another school and that would be the end of it. Today with Facebook, Instagram, and other social media sites that child can continued to be bullied anywhere they go in the world!
Some children never adjust to having to take group showers after gym class, overcoming shyness dealing with the opposite sex, or even make many friends. There is also peer pressure and the "pecking order" within every school such as "the cool kids/rebels", "the in crowd" which is the hot looking kids, athletes, cheerleaders, Homecoming King and Queen, the talented kids (actors, dancers, singers, musicians) who all enjoy a certain level of popularity and respect. Then there are the introverts, geeks/nerds, loners, who never go to school dances or other outings. They hangout with others who are considered "losers".
Parents and teenagers live in "parallel universes" which only intersect with a major problem arises. More often than not teens keep their problems to themselves because THEY believe it is the adult thing to do and feel they should be able to handle whatever comes their way.
Not many teenage girls are going to tell their parents a boy groped them at school or their boyfriend pushed/slapped them or coerced them into having sex. Instead they make their parents believe all is fine.
The biggest mistake parents make is forgetting what it was like for them when they went to school! It's not just about classes and homework! It's most people's first Major adjustment to life.
Not everyone looks back on their Jr. and high school days as being the best time in their lives. A lot of people can't wait to go away to college and reinvent themselves. They hate all of the "games".