Raising your child to be a winner takes time, effort, and some luck. You need to start your child’s education while they are young, and you’ll find that those teachable moments will come early and often.
Children Need to Earn Their Independence
Studies have shown that when parents give children more freedom and responsibility, those kids start to develop stronger values and principles.
An example might be the next time your teenager asks to stay late at a friend’s house. Instead of telling them, ask them what time do they think would be appropriate for them to be home. When they give you a time, ask them why they picked that.
If they don’t give you an answer you like, you can always say no. But you’ve given them an opportunity to learn appropriate time boundaries in your home.
Nobody Likes a Quitter
Your child needs to know the pain of giving up. It’s not a decision that should be taken lightly. If your son or daughter wants to quit the soccer team, tell them they need to tell the coach and his or her teammates. Chances are they don’t want to make that decision and have to face those who they will disappoint.
Make them responsible for their decisions so that they will understand the importance of them.
Words are Important to a Child
The language development in children starts at an early age. As a parent your words to them are important. Remember to never talk down to your child, but use age appropriate language. When doing activities with them, discuss with them what it is that you’re doing. Let them interact with you in a conversation about what is happening in their world.
You can use big words, even if your child is unfamiliar with them. Kids will pick them up by the context they are used in.
Fighting Gets You Nowhere
This becomes the lesson of compromise. When children fight amongst themselves, they are usually caught up in the moment. They will see the conflict with the other child, but rather than find a solution, they would rather just fight. They will try hard to drag you into it. Don’t take a side, even if they beg you. Tell them that if you decide it will not be a decision that either of them will like. They will have to find a resolution and therefore a compromise.
Build the Child’s Confidence
Competition starts at a young age, especially with siblings. Children are always trying to compete for mom and dad’s attention. Let them, healthy competition leads them to more confidence. When playing games with them, let them win in the beginning. As they get older, make it harder for them to get those victories. This will stretch them and build their confidence so that they can have the “can do” attitude that leads them to success later in life.
Don’t Reward a Bad Tempered Child
When your child begins that tantrum in the middle of the store by sitting in the middle of the aisle and screaming, don’t ignore it. Instead be calm and attentive towards them.
Let them know that you will not be upset by this, and they will not be getting what they want. When the child recognizes that their tantrums are futile, you win. This one probably will take more patience than most lessons for parents. It probably won’t work the first few times you try it. Stay with it, by the seventh or eighth time you will have won.
Your child will learn that it’s not the loudest screams that get rewarded but a calm, cooperative attitude.
As a parent, you will have a huge impact on your our child’s success. Celebrate their victories and make sure that they understand your expectations. Remind them that life is like a marathon and not a sprint. Let your children test themselves, but gradually and only one challenge at a time. Success takes time and focus; it is achieved by those who eventually set their sights on one passion and master it.
Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on September 12, 2020:
Well done article. I am currently raising a 10 year old gifted child and we take some of this to the limit. Rewards are a big deal for both of us. This boy is independent on his own we more have to hold him back.