Natasha Pelati has published three books of poetry and writes on real-life experiences with the help of psychology.
I have no friends!
Why Do People Hate Me For No Reason?
I have no friends, people don't invite me to their parties, nobody wants me to join their group at school and I am alone in the holidays.
Nobody understands me, listens to me and nobody cares about what I do. I feel all alone and I think that people are talking behind my back.
My face is full of pimples, I am always getting into an argument with my group and people never invite me to their houses.
What is wrong with me? Why do people hate me?
If this sounds like your life then there are some ways to make you feel better and to change the way that you think people look at you.
For many teenagers and young adults, life gets a little confusing during puberty and there are times where you do feel that you are all alone and nobody understands you or what you are going through.
Parents are the last people that you feel that you could speak to and your peers seem to want to avoid you, without your knowledge of why.
Here are a few ideas on how to get yourself back on track and find a way to feel differently.
Thinking Negative Thoughts
When you wake up in the morning and the first thought in your head is a negative one, then you need to change the way you think.
By thinking that everyone hates you, you are putting that bad energy into your day and nothing will go right because you are going to try and find negativity in your day.
People don't actually hate you but you are on a negative spiral and this allows you to will in negative thoughts which gives you a bit of a bad aura, leading people to avoid you, not because they hate you but because you are willing in unhappiness.
This might not seem as though this is the problem and you genuinely believe that people hate you but if you stop and think about it...do they?
When you wake up in the morning your day is already bad because you are thinking the worst, which leaves you to be negative towards others.
You might not think that you are being negative but you are probably unaware of your vibe because you have that bad thought and energy surrounding you.
The first way to make others like you, is to love yourself?
Let us begin with that and take it from there.
How to Love Yourself
You can feel better about yourself by loving yourself a little.
It doesn't mean that you must be vain and walk around telling people that you are the best thing in the world but you should walk around feeling that way.
You must believe in yourself and when you can believe in yourself, you will be happier and you will then find people who love you too.
The first step to loving yourself is to believing it!
- Look in the mirror and find one thing that you think is beautiful. It doesn't matter what it is as long as you find something.
- Tell yourself that you are beautiful
- Smile while you say that and then laugh at yourself in the mirror
- Look into your own eyes and say; Today is going to be a good day
- I am going to be happy today
- I am positive, I believe in myself
- I can be a happy person
- Today I will become stronger
- Today I will let people in
- I will find one thing to make me smile at school/college/work
For this to work you have to want to be happier in your life and you need to say it everyday until you believe it and until you believe in yourself.
Sometimes it also helps to know that you can turn negative, bad energy into good and positive energy which will change the world around you.
This might seem so far out of reach but you have to believe in yourself and know that there are so many people like you out there, who feel that they are hated and they really are not.
People don't hate for no reason and if you have given no reason to be hated then you are misunderstanding your own self.
Self worth, self love and self respect will allow a door to be opened and people will feel that they can talk to you.
How to Get Others to Like You
Once you have found a way to think positive and you believe that you are someone and that you are worthy, then it is time to get others to like you too.
Happiness is a state of mind and if your mind believes that you are happy, then you will be happy.
Your first step is to think positive and believe that others will like you.
There is no reason for anyone to hate you and if you feel that you are hated, you need to ask yourself why.
Did you do or say something negative to make others feel uncomfortable or hurt?
If the answer is yes, then it is easy to change the way others feel and turn it around so that you are welcomed back into your group. Even if you had an argument or said something negative, then it doesn't mean that you are hated, people argue sometimes and we all get over it, eventually.
If the answer is no, then you have no reason to feel that way at all.
The first thing that you need to do, once you have found positivity in your own life is to give out positive energy.
Get ready for school/college or work and tell yourself that you are going to smile at everyone.
Make eye contact and give out a warm energy by just simply smiling.
Look at each person you like and find one thing that is positive about them and then let them know.
At first they might find it strange because you have been negative without realising it, so this gesture will surprise people but it will work.
Do something helpful for one person in the day, it will make them feel good and it will make you feel great.
If you have a group of friends that have abandoned you, then they are either not worthy of your friendship; in that case find new people to be friends with or talk to them and see if things can work out.
You must be willing to be happy and often the negative effects are so long that you eventually find it difficult to be happy and often, don't want to find happiness, only drama.
Get away from drama!! Nobody wants drama because they have it in their own lives sometimes and all that people really want is peace and happiness.
Find a way to keep positive everyday by sticking to the positive thoughts, giving out positive energy to others and sometimes if you feel really lost then it is a good idea to ask someone for help.
You might not believe it but your parents were teens once too and they know what you are going through.
Feel Hated? Talk to Someone
It sounds crazy but you are not the only person that feels this way or ever has felt hated.
Your parents were once teenagers too and they have the knowledge that they never had at your age, which could help you tremendously now.
Approaching your parents with a positive attitude will give you freedom to ask them for help.
Explain to them that you would like to just tell them something and that you would like some suggestions on how to deal with your situation.
Your parents are not as bad as you think and when you approach them with a problem there is no way that they will not be able to help you solve it.
Give out love and receive love, give out positive energy and you will see the results.
Ask your parents if there is something that you can help them with and do something nice for them too.
Teenagers have a difficult time with puberty because it changes your body and your moods and often enough, you cannot control the mood swings and many people don't understand them.
The best way to find a balance in your life is to do some exercise. There is nothing better than getting in some cardio workouts to bring out a happier you.
It doesn't have to be a marathon or a full gym workout, you can swim, take a walk, ride a bike or do some sport at school.
Find a hobby that will keep you busy and it will occupy your time so that you don't have to think about everything in your day.
Sleep well at night because a lack of sleep makes everything and each problem even bigger than it really is.
Diet is also very important and if you eat the right foods to make you happy then you will be happy.
Avoid caffeine, sugar and don't eat late at night.
Everything will be Alright
It often feels like the world is against you but you are imagining it and people do not hate you.
You must learn to love yourself so that others can be let in and you will then find happiness in your life, you will make others happy and your problems will seem so stupid and small when you look back on it one day.
Ask for help if you feel that there is nobody to talk to and you cannot find happiness or a way out after trying all of these things, because you might need some professional help to give you room to find a way forward.
Life happens no matter what we do and the only thing to do is to try and enjoy as much of it as we can.
If you spend your time feeling hated and hating everything then you are wasting valuable time that could be spent on having fun and finding the time to get friends that will enjoy life with you.
You are what you put out into the world and if you give out negative energy then you are willing negativity into your own life.
Be positive, think positive and feel good about yourself because puberty will be over soon and life will feel much different.
How to Motivate Yourself into Feeling Positive
How to Motivate Yourself into Feeling Positive
For those of you who find it really difficult to look in the mirror and say a few sentences in the morning, here is a video that will help you get motivated into feeling positive.
You need to feel positive on order to get a good result out of your life.
This video is a good start to helping you get motivated and once you have watched it, go out and get something positive done in your life.
© 2019 Natasha Pelati