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What Not to Say to Parents of Kids With Disabilities

This scenario is exacerbated when we consider atypical mothers who have children with disabilities

These women are subjected to constant verbal abuse from strangers, disguised as comments and words of support.

"Our brain sends out a warning to move away or tries to figure out everything it doesn't know. People's curiosity is understandable. Sometimes it is legitimate and intends to add, but some are cruel and say things with their conscience that hurt you because you don't care. "Your child should not be there for them," says Vivi Reis, founder of the Instagram account @inclusivamente, educator, and author of the book "Who Was Born?" Which came first, my daughter or the diagnosis? "Clara, a 12-year-old girl with Down syndrome, and Joo Pedro, a 15-year-old boy.


"You are a fighter," or "special children require special parents"

In addition to being able, this type of behavior, rather than providing strength, demonstrates that these parents are marginalized in society. "The speech appears cute, but it says that it is you who needs your disabled child, not society." according to Vivi Reis Furthermore, this viewpoint ignores the lack of public policies for people with disabilities. "People tell you that you have a difficult mission. Of course, we cannot portray motherhood with a disabled child as easy, but the difficulty stems from a lack of public policies, discrimination, and ability "Carol claims For her, being referred to as a "warrior" excludes them from society the role of considering and including people with disabilities because only the mother is capable of doing so.

It is common for people with disabilities to be referred to as "angels"

but this does not sit well with many families. "I'd heard that if I asked God for a normal child the next time, he'd grant my wish. Samuel is flawless; he is simply a disabled child. Saying that God will provide me with a normal child is a form of violence. Okay. referring to my son as abnormal or flawed A child with a defect "Carol claims.

Rachel feels diminished every time she is called mother in the diminutive, just like the word. "I understand it's loving, but it bothers me. I also understand that teachers and professionals may not remember everyone's name, but you can simply refer to me as "Pedro's mother" or ask for my name. I'm afraid I've diminished myself. Even more so when it is a psychologist, as this is also my field of expertise. It irritates me "He claims. "But he's so attractive." Not every disability is manifested by a physical characteristic.

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The issue with Rachel is that children with disabilities do not need to be educated.

Everything comes with a free pass. "I'm aware of his difficulties, I'm aware that it will take longer, and I'm keeping a close eye on him, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't have limits. He is unable to do certain things simply because he has autism. They are constantly advising me on how to educate my son. The entire world cares, but when it comes time to help, everyone abandons ship "she claims

"Didn't you do anything before Christmas?" or "When you got pregnant, how old were you?" It is not uncommon for the mother to be blamed for her child's disability, even if only indirectly. There is still the myth that an older mother gives birth to children with Down Syndrome. Yes, we know that the risk increases after the age of 35 for women and 40 for men, but this is not the cause. Before autism and down syndrome, we need to see the human being.


This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2022 Michelle Medeiros

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