Women Become Bitter For Many Reasons Why?
Think about it, and ask yourself this: Did you suffer rejection or bad treatment from someone you care for? What was the "something" that certainly seems to have put the woman in the foul mood. There are many things and assumptions and in the end they all apply. Keeping in mind, that we all are entitled to feel anger - it's a natural emotion - some women are bitter for the same reason that some men (for example) act out and become hypersexual after being hurt. My ex husband used to be that way, just want to blur it all out with a good rutting!
It's because some PEOPLE are bitter. Some PEOPLE try to premptively reject anyone who they think may exhibit the behavior of the person who hurt them. Sometimes this includes anyone they encounter. Women don't corner the market on bitterness any more than men corner the market on acting out. These behaviors (among many others) cross gender lines. In both situations, it's a way of distancing themselves emotionally so they are not vulnerable to the pain again. It's an inability to process anger and hurt in a healthy way in order to move on.
Then, some people are JUST PLAIN UNHAPPY, and you can't change that. And finally, if this is just one bitter woman that you've encountered, then go out and find someone else who is pleasant and sweet - or try to understand her if you care for her. If this is almost every woman you meet, then you probably need to do some personal inventory; because if YOU are the only common denominator, maybe you are doing something to make them unhappy.
I will call myself out and even admit that I am at risk of becoming bitter because I am often resentful. Why? I really thought I would become "more" in my lifetime and I am now in my mid-Fifties living what most would consider to be a wonderful life with a husband, a good life, a nice condo.
I should be the happiest person in the world, right? Well, because of having a bitter mom who was not a great parent I had to work for everything the hardest way and by the time I found myself in a stable enough situation to do things that I actually want to do (rather than live in survival mode) I am now "older" and facing dozens of new responsibilities. I feel like my childhood was taken from me, I had to "make-up" for this by trying to even figure out who I was while dealing with a lot of hurdles (was on my own at 16 and made a TON of mistakes in my late teens early twenties) and I guess I just never really had the chance to venture out and be me. I started working in an industry that would pay well (and have succeeded, truly) but I have never been passionate about it.
I cannot say why every bitter woman is bitter but I can explain the reasons of women I know and what I have observed. I believe it is due to unmet expectations in life and relationships. My mother is extremely bitter because she was raised to "get married and have a family" which is what she did. My father cheated on her, left her for another woman and is now wealthy. She, on the other hand, was so darn embattled due to the failed expectation of what she believed was "what she was supposed to do" that she never adjusted and moved on with her life.
Why do some women become and seem to become hostile like they are on one Freudian merry-go-round? It only takes a few minutes to realize when you are in the company of a bitter woman and you probably should have left the room and conversation hours before but you are rooted, which helped that woman with her own hostility toward you, you enabled her.
Sometimes we just want to answer our own views and questions and that way we can tell ourselves in the process. Maybe it is a man thinking about a bitter lady and he is hurt and sad because she may have slighted him in some way, trying to understand his own reaction levels to this negative thing the woman might put us closer to understanding her bitterness.
So - to battle the threat of becoming "bitter" I have enrolled in a creative writing class online and plan to start my blogging business up again at some point here. I do lots of free blogging on people and myself but I it takes practice and focus and you have to do it all the time, like keeping a tan. My beloved cat may be diagnosed with slight breathing problems due to dander and dust and who knows what in the air! We have to call in a vet to come to our home rather than take her to the doctors, and that's money, but we care for her so much, that it's worth it, it's not something to make me bitter..
I know men who, after going through a difficult relationship with a woman, decided to become "players". But this is not viewed as bitterness, or misdirected anger/pain. It's just overlooked as acceptable male behavior - and some of these guys are internalizing hurt and self medicating with sex. If you have ever heard one of your friends talk about why they aren't going to get into any more relationships after they've broken up with a girl, then you are closer to understanding why "some women are so bitter".
When some people have no argument or leg to stand on, they usually resort to either name calling or accusing their mate of not getting enough sexual activity. This is a much used tactic for a lot of (not all) old bitter feminists. I would assume they are bitter because they have lived their lives hating men, destroying families and children, thinking they have some sort of goal....time goes on, they get old and lonely, and wonder what the point of their life was...also realizing that careers are not fulfilling...I'd be bitter too.
I think she would have liked to have gone to college and lived a different lifestyle but she was so wrapped up in the "expectations" that she gave her life until 30 years old to a husband, children and her parents. Then, with no education and two kids she is on her own and though my grandparents (who are truly wonderful - just of a different era) supported her "their way" they were also very hard on her when she tried to have a life outside of us (even her job was considered not important but she needed to work to support us). She is most incredibly bitter woman I have ever met and she has a host of health problems to go with it now - probably because she has been miserable most of her life. It is a sad thing because she really has the potential to be amazing and this potential shines out of her for bits of time and then it is back to the bitterness and resentment. I think that bitterness is a learned way of living with a lot of resentment.
BITTERNESS IN WOMEN DOES HAVE REASONS, READ THIS LADIES PROBLEM:
I have traveled all over the World except Israel and The Orient. Also, I have felt that I have always had to sacrifice my dreams to be responsible for others and to "life" in general. This happened with writing and artistic gifts when I was young, and acting in my mid-twenties and now blogging in my mid-forties (all things that I love and now never do because I have so much to deal with all of the time).
I think what my mother and I have in common is that we make caring for others and security our priority which is very noble and responsible but we tend to "get lost" in the process because our needs aren't met by ourselves or those around us. For example, my mom traded personal development dreams to take care of a house, husband and raise two girls but the husband left and kids inevitably leave so she was left without anything to fall back on to make her happy.
I WAS TAKING "SELFIES" WHEN MILEY WAS THE SIZE OF HER TONGUE IN HER MOM'S BELLY!
SELFIE BEFORE ANYONE KNEW WHAT IT WAS, MILEY WAS NOT EVEN CONCEIVED FOR THIS SHOT!
She treated me like a sister from the moment I entered the room. She thought she knew me. Maybe she did in another life. I made sure to stick close. It was a memorable night.Source: Selfie, 1985, Suzanne Somers & Leslie Siegel
EVEN MEL BROOKS WAS INTO MY SELFIE!
Mel Brooks did a selfie with me and the reason he is making the "O" face with lips is because in all the scenes, as he filmed "Robin Hood Men In Tights," all he saw was my mouth "OH".Source: Mel Brooks & I doing a SELFIE!
DAVID CARRADINE LOVED SELFIES BACK IN 1983!
David Carradine (RIP) was my hero as a child and growing up. I loved his character of Kwai Change Caine in the Kung Fu TV series of the 1070's. Then I came out & finally met him and interviewed him. I could tell he liked me, just one of our selfies!Source: DAVID CARRADINE ENJOYED MY "SELFIE" IN 1983!
THERE WAS AN INTERNET IN 1984 WHEN MILEY CYRUS WAS JUST A LITTLE SPERMY THING!
- I've been taking "Selfies" Since Miley was the size of her tongue in her mom's belly! I have been on the Net in general since "1984" (YES, 1984) when a chemist (my next door neighbor back in 1983) had it in his living room and he was the first to let me in on it.They had computers then? YES.
- I was working off an Amiga 500, or Commodore 64. My chemist pal had a MAC, the first type. It looked like a toaster. And when you chatted with others, it was like the wild wild west where it was a free for all!
- When the normal flow of people discovered what was going on with this new technology, it started to explode. I remember all the computer "IT" guys losing their jobs in the late 1980s when they were getting caught masturbating to the chats of thousands of women. I knew one named Joe when I was working at The Hollywood Reporter in the early 1990s. Poor Joe just got carried away and worked nights and found that 1,000 people chat and growing, so he grew and grew and one day someone saw him and told (not me, I had already been fired).
- It was one big chat with everyone and anyone, When I think back to those days, the beginning of the Internet, when they were actually calling it the "Super Highway!" I loved the freedom of talking to and getting feedback from.people I did not know and there were literally thousands of whomevers out there, maybe more. I was one of the first people to get AOL, Yahoo, Juno when it was free, Facebook and Google+ and more.
Back then it was not about Photoshop! It was about reality games on the net in 1984, chatting and posting little tiny sites on the Kennedy Clan or movies of interest at Blockbuster, very simple coding, just a blip.on the Internet's Super Highway. Certainly not like it is today, by no means.
No posting, no AOL, no yahoo, AND NO GOOGLE! Just this big arena until someone got the idea to start to regulate. By the end 1991 things were changing and lots of stuff was starting to come up on the net I knew since 1984. No one even knew the slang "OMG" "LMAO" "WTF"! At that time no one could have have ever dreamed it would go this far. I've had the same Yahoo account since I started it in 1995!.
But getting back to the early days of 1984: My favorite game was called Crystal Quest, where you actually saw others in simple black and white cartoons on the screen and you tried to kill thema nd take their crystals. I was always trying to make them my friends, but my chemist buddy said, "Leslie, you are so weird, that's not how it works!" It was basic, but it was computer reality and people took it pretty seriously.
Then there was a game called Rector, a reality online game that asked you questions and then predicted your future. I found it in a user group (very crude and basic) but something very new that I'd ever experienced back then. Simply the game would load up and then start to ask you basic, almost nonsense questions then predict stuff in your life.
And my ever favorite game Pirates where you're a captain of a ship long before Johnny Depp was finishing up 21 Jump Street (It was still on back then). Wow, Who knew!? I got very good at it. The disk it ran on was square, small and certainly years away from the DVD. One of the first plastic disks, before the larger "floppies" came into being.
I do have them on my old hard drive NEC, stored or frozen in time, but I've been afraid to even try to get it going. That computer has not been fired up since I was married 12 years ago.
Then about 2005 my childhood friend got on Amazing Race and slapped his Playboy centerfold wife in the face in Berlin, Germany for stopping and making them lose. I helped him by creating blogs and leading others on the net to it.
I went on all the sites for Amazing Race and did my thing and I was labeled a TROLL! They knew it was Leslie Siegel at email@example.com. LOL, it was so easy back then. It's harder now. Why? Because people finally caught up about how it was done. And they realized they could either do it themselves or get it done by hiring big companies, thinking it would be even better, since I charged so little back then. But with all snarky comments they gave me and all the hoopla surrounding it, they still couldn't figure out how I was doing it!
After that what happened was the net started getting clogged with garbage, even though I could seemingly still make all my clients show up! To this day, most clients still come up and requires no fine tuning.
Oh, but who back then could forget the wild west days when you could get away with just about anything, say anything, be anybody, just about everything, but not crime, just fun and games and no bullying either. People would e so nice if I had a fight with my boyfriend and I was chatting about him. I had this way of making the whole room turn and talk to me on the computer's 1000 Plus users.
They were exciting times. I knew it was something special, I felt like I was one of the first nobodies to be on there. They used it at first as a missing persons database, the FBI, so they say, I think.
Other uses to store data in html coding. Then the City of Los Angeles,Air Quality Control Company utilized it for their staff, which made for easy access to computers and equipment to test the air. The chemist, who was quickly became my friend, seemed to have endless access and monies to editing rooms, so we mixed video with the medium, and I knew I was sitting on something I would need the right people to see. Unfortunately, the ones I showed were NOT the right people. My fault. But I knew. Just amazing days. I was there, so I know.
Then about 2007, I was hired by a man to do many projects from real estate to helping clients get seen on the net. Things like EBAY, AOL and even horse racing was growing and I had my own business license for it all.
People took interest. Some good and a lot of bad. One DJ interviewed me on BlogRadio and made me sound like a crazy nut. I was so embarrassed. What a crap shoot, he was jealous and didn't understand. I wrote them and made him say "SORRY". But it was weak.
When again about 1 year later my childhood friend and his Playboy centerfold wife got on The Joe Rogan Fear Factor Show and my friend ended up in a big fight and punched Joe in the face and ran away wife in tow.
He contracted me again and I raised thousands of people to his site. By then there were mediums to use. Social Media was just sort of being born, even Twitter was like what kind of bird is that? Later on he went to Big Brother and of course I was labeled a TROLL and they knew who I was, who else, right: That infamous Leslie Siegel at firstname.lastname@example.org. LOL, it was so easy back then. It's hard now.
- The hardest part was the negative bullies that appeared, even bullies that picked on me in high school, and even one bully from New York City tough public school PS 167, who had become some gay icon or art thing in San Francisco. I emailed him shots of him in 7th grade and he freaked out and blocked me. Couldn't handle it.
- But, it was so addictive, seeing your work showing in engines, as engines were created, bought out and buffed up. It was a great thing and at the time I made money, had fun and was also pretty dumb with that power of the electronic blog pen. I did bad, I did good, I did ugly. All I can ask for is peace, happiness and forgiveness from my family. Ahhh, maybe one day, and I'll just wait an see what what the next big thing is.ow could you leave such a good thing?
So, long winded and very personal answer but I bet if more women came forward (and men for that matter - I know a lot of bitter men too but they tend to be less self-sacraficing as a general rule) this would probably be close in spirit even if the facts are different.
Hey, if my husband leaves me for a younger woman when I'm in my Sixties with cat to raise and my entire life is consumed being a single woman again, I'll probably be pretty pissed off too. Hence the reason I am trying to find other things that bring me joy that nobody can take away from me. :-) I don't want to be bitter.
So bitterness does have a cause and effect, you just have to recognize it and be better for it. Try to overcome by thinking good thoughts. Whenever I give blood I sing while the needle is in, and it helps. Sing, write, read, learn, understand, be calm, think clearly and by all means FORGIVE!