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Top Ten Table Manners for Children


There's nothing worse at the holidays than your Aunt Gert going off about the atrocious state of little Cameron's table manners. In her day children were seen and not heard, and there's your precious offspring - heard up and down the table. Without the formal environments of the past, and some families not even regularly eating together at the table, it can be difficult to teach kids what is appropriate table behavior. However, no need to worry. Learning manners quickly is easier than you think and this crash course will get kids holiday table ready in the time it takes to carve the ham.

  1. Say Hello - Simple as it seems, many kids today are not taught basic introduction skills. It can be as simple as greeting a guest or host with eye contact and clearly stating his or her name. It's always safe to use a proper title such as Mr. or Mrs. until the child is instructed otherwise.
  2. Playing Host - Teach kids to take coats and bags at the door. Also, make sure children know how to greet relatives and guests, whether your custom is to hug, kiss, or other greeting. Kids will not necessarily follow your lead unless asked to do so. Kids are also great little catering helpers - put them to work passing hors du'oeuvres. It's old fashioned but it's a great idea!
  3. The Power of No-Thank-You - Whether you are visiting friends or family, there is bound to be at least one food item that your child will simply not eat. Teach kids how to offer up a gracious, yet firm no thank you without further elaboration on just why they are not interested in that stinky pate or moldy cheese.
  4. Sitting Still - Practice before important meals. You can't expect a child to go fro broke on the first try. Remind kids to sit up straight, with their napkins on their laps, and elbows off the table. Remember that it's very difficult for children to sit at a table for a long period of time, especially when their feet don't touch the floor! Excusing them promptly to play video games is a courtesy to everyone.
  5. Passing Food - Teach kids to ask for food rather than reaching across a table. Super proper passing goes from left to right, or counterclockwise. However, common sense says whoever's closest to the peas passes. (That is, if you can get your kid to eat peas.) Children should learn to take at least a bite or two of everything, and compliment the cook(s) appropriately.
  6. Set It Right - Learning proper table setting is the perfect excuse to get your child to set the table every night. This chore ensures he'll always know the fork goes on the left, the spoon and knife on the right.
  7. Wait for the Hostess - Especially at large family gatherings, it can be tempting to dive into your feast while the potatoes are still going around. Saying grace is a nice way to control when people begin to eat. However, if a prayer is not said, teach kids it's okay to begin eating once the hostess has picked up her utensil.
  8. Be a Model - Instead of going on and on about everything a child is not supposed to do at the table, encourage her to look to you as an example. Keeping eyes on mom and dad can help a confused child to see just how to behave. Of course that means you need to be a worthy role model.
  9. Table Talk - It's never too early to teach kids how to make some pleasant conversation. Arm children with a few open ended questions they can ask if the time comes. They should also know, however, that when adults present they need to defer to them and not to interrupt.
  10. Smile - A smile washes over a thousand sins. Children who are sweet at the table can get away with just about anything. The best part about eating with friends and family is the companionship anyway. Don't get so focused on the proper etiquette that you forget to instill in your children the enjoyment of a good meal. The rules can be taught anytime.


butt on August 24, 2011:

lol great hub!

GojiJuiceGoodness from Roanoke, Virginia on February 08, 2010:

I should say this is a great hub! Teaching kids these 10 things you outlined will make others enjoy being around them just because they are polite. Not to mention kind, considerate, etc. Thanks for the info.

MrMarmalade from Sydney on November 27, 2007:

Your Hub is showing great wisdom . Thank you very much

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We had five sons and were invited to Nephew's first dinner engagement after his marriage. Our children were given a certain amount of leeway at home. If they took the risk and went beyond the pale they had to give 2 minute talk after dinner on Sunday night. It got hilarious at times.

First dinner. New wife cooked all nine of us a great first coarse and our sons had been warned that there was to be no loud talk and listen to all the adults.

We were proud of all five their behaviour was out of the box. They had been told to eat what was placed in front of them without comment. I was watching each of the boys and they all put the first mouthful of cooked to perfection Apple crumble into their mouths. Two of them gulped and the others pulled a horrible face. None of the five children made a murmur. They did go slower and slower.

New husband had first mouthful and you would have thought WW111 had been declared.

The young lady had used salt, instead of sugar. The husband ranted and raved and our children did not say boo to say. They were excused from eating any more and they were given Ice cream instead. Very Proud parents of five great sons.

There was an after on this first night This ame lady Had decided that she would invite 50 of our closest friends to our 50th Wedding anniverary at her home. Great surprise night for Val and I .

Could you believe that Son two brough up this salt and sugar meal and the whole room roared with laughter. The young lady (no Longer as Young) took the whole thing gracefully. Veri impress with thid lady and wonddering how 2on two had remebered that detail.

Melissa Garrett on November 27, 2007:

Great post! We are working on this with my three kids (8,6,2 - the 2-year-old gets a little leeway!). We give our kids three tokens as reminders of their manners. Each time they break a rule, a token is removed. If they have all their tokens at the end of the dinner, they get to choose a special game to play, and they get 50 cents which they can save and use to purchase a small item from our family "store." Dinner has been much more pleasurable since starting the token system, and it will be nice when they are weaned from it completely (then it will be time to tackle the next "bad" behavior!).

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