Through the Eyes of a Child
I never had the chance to be,
The way a child should be,
Running through the school yard,
With a heart so young and free.
Instead I sat so quietly,
No-one could understand,
Why I held my head so sadly,
While they danced round hand in hand.
I never wore the frilly frocks,
The other girls did wear,
But I loved the satin ribbon,
Momma tied up in my hair.
They begged for me to join their games,
As they looked at me confused,
They walked away so sadly,
When I repeatedly refused.
One day the wind did change its path,
Through the tall gum trees green and vast,
The girls that once did love me,
Silently went past.
And even when the wind was gone,
As Winter passed away,
I sat there in seclusion,
As not one eye did look my way.
I tried to hide the tears,
That splashed upon my cheeks,
I could not let them see the truth,
That I was painfully weak.
As cruel words stung my spirit,
Even then I could not speak,
Instead I turned and walked away,
"The Grade Two Blue-eyed Freak ".
And when the school bell broke at three,
Elation filled the air,
I would look unto the wired fence,
And hope that Dad weren't there.
For when I saw my Mommas face,
My little legs did race,
While my Momma stood there rigidly,
With a deep frown upon her face.
I made my Momma angry,
For most everything I did,
It seemed she failed to realize,
I was just a little kid.
So I kept my secrets deep inside,
For I did not want her mad,
To tell her "Daddy hurts me",
How could I say that bout my Dad?.
At night while holding Teddy,
I would kneel beside me bed,
"God what I really want for Xmas,
Is for you to send me a best friend".
Then Spring turned into Summer,
As all inside did break,
I punched a boy with all my might,
And smacked him in the face.
The boy had killed my Teddy,
He ripped him right in two,
The only friend I ever had,
It ripped my heart right through.
Something changed inside me,
From that very day,
With a resentment for my parents,
And an inability to pray.
A woman now I have become,
Who now has found her voice ,
To speak of the horrendous crimes,
Where children have no choice.
I whisper to my God,
With tears down my face,
"Have mercy on our children,
For our future human race".
Please understand this is a horrendous crime, child abuse is not acceptable, not human, not your fault in anyway or form. Do not be afraid to speak out. Dedicated to all the dear victims who have been affected by this kind of abuse. Remember there is hope, there is love, there is healing, always.!! May the sunlight once again begin to shine in your life. You are beautiful.
© Debbie Murray 2009.
More From This Author
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Please Feel Free To Leave Your Comments
blondepoet (author) from australia on November 17, 2011:
Thanks so much Twin you have made me feel on top of the world. Yes by all means you can use it. xx
Twin2 on September 13, 2011:
May I cite your work for a Domestic Violence Parade we are holding in my community? Please tell me what I must do. I know your poem will tug at many heartstrings, as it did mine.
Twin2 on September 13, 2011:
I am heartbreakingly moved by this written art. It speaks volumes and although the tale that is told to us is an ugly one, the beauty comes from the feeling that it brings out. My foster children are survivers also, blondepoet, and they are the strongest individuals I know.
blondepoet (author) from australia on April 08, 2011:
Thank-you so much Norma for taking the time to read my poem. You really should post your poetry would love to read them. :)
Norma Budden from Nunavut, Canada on April 04, 2011:
Your poem certainly does reach chords in the innermost part of my soul. I don't like hearing of children who suffer, period, but at the hands of their parents makes it seem even worse, somehow.
Perhaps I should start posting some of my own poems here. I had thought to use this platform primarily for writing articles but now I'm thinking a combination of both may be rewarding on many levels.
Thanks for sharing this and I'm sorry you had to live through such an ordeal.
blondepoet (author) from australia on September 12, 2010:
Oh sofs what a beautiful comment you left me. Thank you so very much. I am honored to share this amongst beautiful hubbers like yourself.
Sophie on September 09, 2010:
HI BP this is the cry of many a child, so moving and true. I meet young women as a counselor and all the time it is the same story, my father did it to me..... Oh God when will men become fathers and protectors and mother's friends of their own daughters.
Thank you for sharing your pain and anguish with us, most of us close our eyes to what happens in our own homes.
Let this cry become a revolution...
blondepoet (author) from australia on March 19, 2010:
Thank-you so much Aiysha17 I am so sorry to hear that you were a victim. I hope you have found yourself again and have truly recovered. It will be a pleasure to read your poem :)
Aiysha Jebali from UK on March 19, 2010:
Hi there! This poem is truly amazing! It really resonates with me and although it wan't my father, it was someone that I trusted very much so to say that this really hits home is an understatement.
I have also written some poetry on my hub, if you want to take a look then go for it and let me know what you think BP. My latest one is called: My Deepest Unspoken but there are a few there that may interest you :) Speak soon! xx
blondepoet (author) from australia on March 15, 2010:
Awww Blake you are a sweetheart. I am so chuffed you liked this piece and honored you are showing your mum.So sorry to hear what happened to her but she sounds a woman of real strength now, a beautiful mother. Definitely when I write my poetry my soul really comes out. Oh I love all those artists. In myself I see a little Kylie (wiggle) Nicole Kidman (fiery) Olivia (softness). Love AC-DC and INXS, Michael was a really hotty, so sad he left the way he did.
blake4d on March 15, 2010:
I am floored and touched soul deep...
My mother is an incest survivor and very active in her private life with recovery, and adult child groups. Upon finishing this comment to you I am going to forward this page to her. You expressed things that I have heard my mother say a thousand times...I got lucky that her abuse allowed her to become the superior parent she was for me. And I was never abused in any such way, in fact truth be told I may be even a little spoiled and niaeve about somethings. Yes, I was an only child.
Oddly my mother has worked her whole life as a Registered Nurse. There is always a pattern underlying in things, haha.
Anyhow, I shall return with randy and high minded comments for you another day BP. I really like this one. I think your real gift is in this piece. I can see you now, the Australian answer to both Emily Dickinson and Judy Blume.
Or in modern Aussie terms - Kylie Minogue meets Olivia Newton John. Or do you prefer AC/DC and INXS?
Blessed be...
blondepoet (author) from australia on March 11, 2010:
Thank-you so much Iam I am sorry to hear of your childhood. I hope you have fully recovered :)
IamAl1c from Here and There on March 10, 2010:
I love this poem. I was a victim in my childhood, so this was really, wow. I am glad that I found this. It's really beautiful.
blondepoet (author) from australia on February 21, 2010:
Hiya Qwark wow I am sorry to hear of your own childhood. I was getting quite sad until you mentioned your own son. The way you described your feelings was so so beautiful. I bet you are the best dad in the whole world. Big hugs to you. xox
qwark on February 20, 2010:
Blonde:
Raising my son as a single Dad was the finest and most fulfilling thing I've ever done!
I was raised a foster child. My sister and I went to 7 different grade schools.
My parents left us when I was 4 and my sister was 2.
We never knew the love of "family."
In fact, I'd never known love.
When my son was born, he opened his little brown eyes and focused on me!
I felt a powerful deep, soulfull, bonding warmth inside that I'd never felt in my life!!!
That profound,overwhelming feeling was "LOVE!"
I remember crying and looking back into his eyes and yelling "I love you!"
That feeling is still with me today!
I'm so sorry your parents didn't express their love for you like I do to my son.
My parents and yours were heartless.
What else can I say.
I loved the poem!
blondepoet (author) from australia on February 15, 2010:
Hi Sam yes sure I would love to come have a look. So far you are very on the mark, I really appreciate your heart-felt comments :)
SamAntone on February 15, 2010:
I enjoyed your poem. I probably can't begin to understand your anguish and suffering, but it is conveyed with greater effectiveness by describing your changes, your lament that you were denied being as a little child should be, and so on. The imagery conveys the pain and your suffering very poetically, and poetry is a powerful medium for emotional communication. I wrote an article about how children suffer, and about a shield built into each of us. Maybe you can tell me if I'm not on the mark.
blondepoet (author) from australia on February 15, 2010:
Thank-you so much Sage. After reading your hub I can see how much this poem you would have related to.You are also a true champ, I too am so glad you have recovered to tell your story. :)
Sage Williams on February 15, 2010:
Deb - Your writing is an inspiration to anyone who has been abused. This poem, although heart wrenching went right to my core. Extremely moving, powerful and written from the heart. I am so glad that you found your voice and have the courage to speak out for the little girl that lives inside.
This poem will touch the hearts of so many people.
Thanks again,
Sage
blondepoet (author) from australia on February 07, 2010:
Thank-you so much Lita your comments mean a lot to me. Have a wonderful day.
Lita C. Malicdem from Philippines on February 07, 2010:
The poem is a calculated piece for a screaming testimony but it is vivid in its aim to warn others. This will give future victims of child abuse the courage to come out and speak up. You are great writer, a respectable poet.
blondepoet (author) from australia on January 30, 2010:
Thankyou Hokey that means a lot. I will have to come and check out your poem, I would be honoured.
Hokey from In the energy. on January 30, 2010:
This is such an amazing poem. Thank you so much for sharing it. I wrote about this subject in A Path With Heart 3(the loss of innocence) on my page.
blondepoet (author) from australia on January 13, 2010:
Thankyou so much mse means a lot :)
mse from texas on January 13, 2010:
Beautiful
blondepoet (author) from australia on January 12, 2010:
Aww tks ralwus you always cheer me up. You are infectious in a great way. xo
ralwus on January 12, 2010:
See. We all love you BP. You are gifted, so fly high in that fact and put away those tears and be the queen you were meant to be. xox Wooot! Long live the queen.
blondepoet (author) from australia on January 12, 2010:
Thankyou so much myownworld, it's funny even when I read it I have tears, more tears of joy I guess as to where I stand today :)
myownworld from uk on January 12, 2010:
this was absolutely beautiful....! just went straight to my heart...bringing wordless tears and emotions to the surface. you have a rare gift...!
blondepoet (author) from australia on January 12, 2010:
Thanks Bhawna they certainly do need to be raised, there are so many cases still not being reported,the message has to get out there.
Bhawna Sharma from Mumbai, India on January 12, 2010:
Such issues are needed to be raised. This is called the power of pen.
I too write a poem on the same issue. Can't use that as a hub, as it is posted elsewhere.
You truly write from your heart :)
blondepoet (author) from australia on January 02, 2010:
Still lovin u in Oz. Wow cold you lucky thing it is sweating hot here in Aussie land. ughhhhh.
ralwus on January 02, 2010:
Still loving you in Ohio. It is so cold now. How are you doing?
blondepoet (author) from australia on December 23, 2009:
Hiya QS wow long time no see. Wishing you a super duper Xmas too. I would kill for Indian pancakes at Chrissie mmmm
Hi AE always a joy to see you. Thanks so much for your praise it means a lot to me. Wishing you and your family a bonza XMas. Love ya heaps xo
Rhankyou so much Arthur, coming from a guy that means a lot. Merry Xmas to you. :) :)
Arthur Fontes from Fall River,MA on December 23, 2009:
This is a very emotional poem. It was something that touched my heart. Thanks
Julianna from SomeWhere Out There on December 23, 2009:
BP It is so wonderful when you speak out to others, I am so glad to be your friend and what an advocate you are. Merry Christmas and I hope that you never forgot teddy.:)
quicksand on December 22, 2009:
Heap big good luck to you in da New Year and a Merry Xmas too!
blondepoet (author) from australia on December 22, 2009:
Hey Micky thanks so much I guess it shows lol.
Micky Dee on December 22, 2009:
Very nice. You have a great heart.
blondepoet (author) from australia on December 18, 2009:
Thanks a million Maita I shall be right over to have a look :) :)
prettydarkhorse from US on December 18, 2009:
you got me here, I love children.....very nice poem, I have written something about children last week, and we have the same take on children,,,,,
thank you, Maita
blondepoet (author) from australia on December 17, 2009:
THankyou RDB I am thrilled you took time out to come read. :)
Run Down Battery from UK on December 17, 2009:
Deeply moving
blondepoet (author) from australia on December 13, 2009:
THankyou so much christalluna that means a lot :) :)
christalluna1124 from Dallas Texas on December 12, 2009:
A beautiful and heart wretching piece. I love the simple way it was written, almost childlike. From a survivor and now advocate..and fan.
Thanks,
warmest regards,
christal
blondepoet (author) from australia on December 11, 2009:
Aww thankyou so much Earnest,it was great to wake up this morning and see you here. I love you too heaps and heaps and heaps xo
earnestshub from Melbourne Australia on December 09, 2009:
Wow and WOW!! You are the master BP! This is world class and so important. You have more guts and heart than most. Love your work, love you too! (With the greatest of respect.)
Another wonderful woman who can show the world what is really important in life.
blondepoet (author) from australia on November 28, 2009:
Hi Cleanclover yes I am the creator thankyou very much for your praise :)
Cleanclover from Piece of land! on November 27, 2009:
Are you the creator of this poem? If yes then you can become famous you know.
blondepoet (author) from australia on November 26, 2009:
Thankyou so much for sharing Doyle I will have to read your poem too yes memories are always there :)
Doyle Wheeler from doylewheeler@yahoo.com on November 17, 2009:
Hey loved your poem and hated how it reminded me of things that happened in my childhood, but then that not really true as not a day goes by that I'm not remind.
I'll post my poem on the same subject. Iwrote it many years ago and have let the childrens rescue nursery use it as a fund raiser.
someoneyouknow on November 05, 2009:
now you delete my comments, ok...
blondepoet (author) from australia on November 05, 2009:
Thankyou Zenani that means a lot. I am so happy you had a happy childhood, something every little child deserves. Have a great day. :)
Zenani on November 05, 2009:
BP, an amazing poem and adding the lullaby at the end both had me in tears. Makes me doubly thankful for the childhood I had and gives me a passion to lend support and prayers to all the little gals who grew up in such pain.
Blessings.
blondepoet (author) from australia on November 02, 2009:
Oh Resspenser how great u popped in, that was amazing to hear from a ex cop, to get their view point. Thanks a million.
Thanks so much Chad, that means a lot. :) :)
Hi someoneyouknow as soon as I create a new name for Skype will mail you, was locked out of the old one for some crazy reason.
Thank-you Fugutive it means a lot you took time out to read my poetry. :) :)
Fugitive From Now on October 31, 2009:
Love the photo before your poem.
someoneyouknow on October 31, 2009:
i miss you so much, give me just one chance to talk with you...i can't forget you!
btw i need to know who's ali!
Chad Taylor from Somewhere in Seattle... on October 31, 2009:
I read it from start to finish with bated breath...
Ronnie Sowell from South Carolina on October 29, 2009:
Awesome hub! As an ex-cop, I can honestly say that the quickest way to make most cops go "Dirty Harry" would be a child molester. Proud to say I got a few off the streets!
blondepoet (author) from australia on October 25, 2009:
Tks so much privateye2500 yes it happens to far to many, it breaks my heart.
privateye2500 from Canada, USA, London on October 23, 2009:
......1 in 3....at Least one in 3 of us.
....Probably the most singular common thread of humanity...
...and so I never understood why the word humanity had a positive connotation...
blondepoet (author) from australia on October 23, 2009:
Thanks so much Bail Up I would gladly do it for them anyday.!! :)
Bail Up ! on October 16, 2009:
Really nice poem and superbly written. Thanks for speaking out for all our little ones.
blondepoet (author) from australia on October 15, 2009:
I did Misty and tk so much for also sticking up for me. I love u guys so much xoxoxox
Hiya Lgali aww its always a pleasure to see you, have a great one.xox
Tks a million Steph I just got back so I will catch up with all your hubs too asap. xoxo
Thankyou Wendi that means a lot. :)
Thankyou as well Cheryl I look forward to getting into your hubs too wow I have so much catching up to do. xo
Tk you Steff I am so happy my poem has touched so many, yes when I see a child hurting, my emotion just overflows xo
Nell a big thanks I hope it touched home in a good way for you with inspiration. Have a great day xo
Thankyou so much Rachel,I guess all ages are affected by this hurt on children, it shows your beautiful heart. xo
Sir you will find it probably when you are even not looking :)There is someone to love everyone of us somewhere out there
sir_najeb on October 15, 2009:
nice hub .same to me..aldo i'm not marry yet....for me is sooooo cute.maybe coz of my age nearly 30..ahhahahah
now thinking when i'm going to find true love
rachelsheart on October 14, 2009:
OMG U are kidding me I am 31 And so moved by this...Thank u Vancouver wa
Nell Rose from Buckinghamshire UK on October 14, 2009:
Absolutely brilliant. that said it all really. When I started to read it I thought how good it was, but when I realised what it was about It tugged at me. Fantastic poem in it's own right. lol nell rose
steffsings from Pacific NorthWest on October 13, 2009:
What a heart wrenching poem that make me want to immediately pray for the little ones. Thank you for sharing this touching work of art.
CheriLuvsU on October 13, 2009:
You are amazing!
It was my past too that put this need to express my thoughts through words. I've been writing since about 10 yrs old, i got journals on piles of journals full of my history. That was great and I am looking forward to more!
--The new hubber, Cherilyn
wendi_w from Midwest on October 13, 2009:
That was truly beautiful and strikes a cord for many
Stephanie Marshall from Bend, Oregon on October 13, 2009:
Wow - moving and amazing! Best to you, Stephanie
Lgali on October 13, 2009:
very nice peom I llike this
Then Spring turned into Summer,
As all inside did break,
I punched a boy with all my might,
And smacked him in the face.
blondepoet (author) from australia on October 13, 2009:
Have just read it Misty I am totally overwhelmed....it is just amazing...I'm actually almost speechless for a change lol.xo
Cindy Lawson from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 13, 2009:
Did you read the whole forum thread about your being "missing", you should, it just goes to show how much you are loved around here. :)
blondepoet (author) from australia on October 13, 2009:
Aww Tom thankyou so much I have missed you guys more than anything. My life went on a bit of a downhill starting with being hospitalised after swine flu ravaged me. Its been a slug back love u all xoxoxox
Hey Am I Dead aww you guys are the bees knees its been like being separated from my family xoxox
Hey Misty wow this welcome back is just awesome missed u all xoxox
Sufidreamer from Sparti, Greece on October 13, 2009:
:D
Good to have you back - you had us all worried!
Cindy Lawson from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 13, 2009:
Lovely to see you back again, we were all so worried about you :)
Am I dead, yet? on October 13, 2009:
I followed Tom on over--I agree, great to see you. Things are just not the same with you and Cindy around to keep us all in line -hugs-
Tom rubenoff from United States on October 13, 2009:
Great to see you, BP. Missed you so much :0)
blondepoet (author) from australia on October 13, 2009:
Thankyou so much for your beautiful commentloveofnight :) :)
blondepoet (author) from australia on October 13, 2009:
Hi CrisA I have missed u guys enormously,just been sorting out a few hiccups with my health since getting sick. So great to see u
Ghost thanks so much Im so glad you could relate to my simple message.
Benji thanks so much for your beautiful comment I try to tell it all so simply so people can relate to my messages
blondepoet (author) from australia on October 13, 2009:
Thanks so much Ixxy that soup sounds like the bees knees xox
Loveofnight Anderson from Baltimore, Maryland on September 24, 2009:
i felt myself in your words
Benji Mester from San Diego, California on September 21, 2009:
This one got me. I loved it, especially the wrap up. You have such a gift for being able to talk about difficult things in a way that's not overbearing. Bravo. I'm very glad you became such a strong person in spite of all of your trials.
ghostwritermsc07 from Spokane, Wa on September 12, 2009:
What a sad little poem. As a survivor of abuse I know how this little girl felt. So often we walk a path alone.
Cris A from Manila, Philippines on September 08, 2009:
This must have been difficult to write but then again, I've looked up to your courage and honesty. Continue to be blessed and a blessing to others :D
lxxy from Beneath, Between, Beyond on September 08, 2009:
Swine flu? So that's where it went--down under. =)
I'll replicate you some chicken soup. Or maybe some pork broth, just to get back at the pigs.
blondepoet (author) from australia on September 07, 2009:
Aww hiya Brenda have missed you this much __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I am sitting up this morn and am going to make the most of it. Love ya heaps. xoxox
\Brenda Scully on September 07, 2009:
hiya just wanted to say hope you are well.... have the lullaby on whilst i am typing.... missed ya
blondepoet (author) from australia on September 07, 2009:
Thanks so much mtwzh123 for reading it :)
Hey Izzy have swine flu am getting better now though. Thank god for that it's been the worst times. Missed u guys. xox
lxxy from Beneath, Between, Beyond on September 03, 2009:
*glomps* (I still don't know what that means..)
Hey, where you at?!
blondepoet (author) from australia on September 01, 2009:
It is very hard easy1 but yet another voice that had to be heard. Thanks so so much :)
Dear viryabo your beautiful comments just made my heart sing. I just am feeling so uplifted lol, truly, by what you said. That means the world to me, thank-you so so much for making my day. xoxoxxo
viryabo from Lagos, Nigeria. on August 30, 2009:
This is one of the most beautiful poems i've ever read blondepoet!
I'm so overwhelmed and dont know what to say. I'm almost speechless.
I still say slow and painful capital punishment for all offenders. Children are very weak and vulnerable, and NOBODY, ABSOLUTELY NOBODY, has the right to harm children, whether its their child or not.
One of the greatest and moving hubs i've read in my few months at HP.
GodBless.
easy1 from Ireland on August 26, 2009:
Its hard to say anything, but well done.
blondepoet (author) from australia on August 25, 2009:
Thank-you so much Monawrites. I am so sad to hear that you are still suffering I really am. I found the more I have talked on all the bad things from my past the more it has helped. I too, never had anyone to share things with, so writing them down has been an enormous healing for me, as indeed people have listened and their support is just wonderful. Maybe you too could write of your experiences. I got to the stage in my life in early 20's where I decided enough was enough, I forced myself to adopt a positive attitude, I had enough of suffering. I have practised genuine forgiveness, the power of forgiveness is amazing.It does not mean we have to put ourselves in the line of those who have hurt us, but inwardly forgive. I wish you all the best, it sounds you have suffered for far too long, and you deserve to be free, and to enjoy the years now before you. (hugs) xo
Monawrites from Surry, Maine on August 23, 2009:
Where, how did you find your voice? I am 54 and still terrified, I am trying but nobody is there, the legacy has been the ability to engender disrespect and to alienate anyone who has ever tried to become close to me.
After the abuse stopped I began to shred my own life to peices, and it is almost as if just now I am waking up. I am SO scared, Your poetry is beautiful and spoke directly to my heart.
Thank you.
blondepoet (author) from australia on August 19, 2009:
Oh Uriel you are so lovely it is incredible. I cannot thank you enough for leaving such a lengthy inspiring comment.I think because I have been through every bad thing there is to know, it has given me the abilty to express the pain and human suffering that goes along with it so much easier. The fact that I have pulled through it all with such a love in my heart and strong drive in life, is certainly hope for others. When I know I have helped someone through that is the greatest reward for me I could ever hope for. Love u heaps Uriel. (hugs) xox