Family is the most important group that we will belong to in this life. I love mine. Let's talk about family, ur.... read about it.
Doing my part to bring social awareness to the issues we face today of a different kind, I have written some articles about the Black Lives Matter movement. I support many of the ideas of the movement NOW, but it was presented to me thus: BLM Hates Men!
Because BLM brings awareness to things that occur in many Black communities, it serves a good purpose.
In the wake of the movement, to deter support for BLM, Conservative platforms, including mine, thought and taught traditionally good institutions were maligned and villainized. The BLM movement once had wording on the main website appearing against the nuclear family of father, mother, and children.
My faith, Christianity, conflicted with that poor choice of wording, which is no longer on the site. It is difficult to support a group that supports the "dismantling" of the nuclear family, however, even with that misunderstanding glaring, I thought (think) the movement is a necessary "evil." To be explicit, BLM is a part of God's plan.
Mother or Father Cannot be Replaced
A good and productive family has a father and a mother that love each other and their kids. That is the idea. Everything else is what we deal with when we do not have the idea...
Where it Started
The BLM movement started with a few women, Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi, who did not agree with the verdict issued against George Zimmerman for killing Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerma killed Trayvon, who responded to Zimmerman's pursuit of him by using mixed martial arts to defend himself.
Zimmerman asserted the boy could have beaten him to death, so he shot Trayvon, who's death led to an outcry from the Black community and the World!
The Black Lives Matter Network decries violence against Black men in police custody and all Black people in general. It, BLMN, supports equal protection for all people, but they call attention to the group, Black people, who seem to have the most need for support when it comes to police brutality. They support the LGBTQ communities and Black women empowerment. I agree with the sentiment of equal protection under the law. Go to their website to read what other causes BLMN supports. People of faith would agree with their stances of equal protection and access to all people.
Establishers of the BLM Movement
Movements like these entangle a good cause with a destructive one, WHY? The following old and removed wording set me at defiance with the organization when I thought BLMN was "committed to disrupting the Western prescribed nuclear family structure requirement by supporting each other as extended families and "villages" that collectively care for one another, and especially "our" children to the degree that mothers, parents, and children are comfortable."
A narrow reading of that wording translates into: Men do not need to lead the family in order for it to function because families can function without them.
It is true. Families can and DO function witout men, with one man, with two men, wth two women, with one woman, with a mistress, with a chick-on-the-side....
A family can function without a man. A functioning family is one that can exist. A good and productive family can come in many varieties. In my mind and most of the people of the planet, a father and a mother who love each other and their kids is the idea--an aspiration. Everything else is what we deal with when we do not have the idea. Most Black Americans do not have fathers in their homes.
BLM support the nuclear family. It supports all family types. People of faith do not have to agree on the structure of the family to support the loving relationships developed within those families. Without those families, whether they are LGBTQ members in that family or not, or there are couples or not is a matter of effort.
In my faith, we believe,
Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. 1
Can people enjoy happiness in other faiths? Yes!
The God I serve loves all the billions of people of the myriads of faiths. If the second sentence of the above quote is present, there is no relationship of people who could NOT be happy. Jesus is about change and progression. That can happen in any environment, but especially where genuine love exists. Those of us Christians who cannot accept people of other faiths or lifestyle types in love have more learning to do, which in time can happen.
True discipleship of Jesus is to love people as they are at present whether they change or not. If they change, our love for them must be the same--as we love ourselves. That too, is an aspiration.
Generally people love themselves so much that we will endure much to see to our happiness and welfare. BLM supports that Christian tenet to love people in general as Jesus Christ taught.
What Fathers Do
In a home where there are both natural parents of the children who love each other, it creates stability. The father is the male leader of the home who provides support and health to the family, protection. That is custom to fathers being stronger and larger than the mother in general.
Asserting general truths has become taboo. If a person says that a woman cannot do what a typical male does, certain groups consider that person misogynistic. Generally, women cannot do what men do physically at the level men perform any more than a natural male can birth a child.
Biologically people born male tend to be stronger and more assertive than those born female. Hormones such as testosterone which natural males produce in large amounts prove such generally which is why gender assigned males take testosterone to appear and behave more masculine.
In a home where Father is present, even a less active father will bring more security to the psychological well-being of the family members than a home with a single mother.
Can it work in homes with two fathers or two mothers? It is possible. There will soon live a generation of people who grew to maturity with same-gender parents. Time will tell.
Odds are in favor of a better outcome if the man is present as a figure of guidance and love in the home.
Focus on Fathers
Fathers Matter. Without fathers, confusion occurs that may not otherwise occur. Having both parents in the home is not going to fix every problem. Problems exist in families even if both parents were madly in love and lived enchanted lives. That is the nature of human existence. Issues happen with or without a father in the home. Odds are in favor of a better outcome if the man is present as a figure of guidance and love in the home.
I have heard Black women suggest that they can do it all by themselves.
No. The answer is no they can't.
They can try and fail.
People argue saying "I came from a single-parent home and I turned out fine."
It is hard to raise kids in perfect conditions. Girls need Daddy to tell them they are beautiful and treat them with tenderness and respect. This makes it less likely for those girls to want to seek unhealthy affection from peers who could hurt them. Can two men do that, or two women? Yes! Can it work? The next generation will be able to tell the world.
Boys need Dad to show them how to respect their mother and honor her. This makes it more likely that the boys will treat their peers with respect and seek to protect the honor of women rather than disrespect them. Can two men do that, or two women? Yes! Can it work? The next generation will be able to tell the world.
Again, the father in the home makes it more likely under the best circumstances. People who grow up with great family dynamics screw up, of course! They are more likely to recover if they have the resources of parental love. Can two men do that, or two women? Yes! Can it work? The next generation will be able to tell the world.
Family, in part, is about giving children the best tools to make choices in life. We are where we are in society. Nothing declared by one group or the other will change the truth that humanity is no cookie-cutter experiment of God's gone wrong.
Family is also, in part, about accepting the choices each member makes--adjusting to new dynamics that best serve the members emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Sometimes that means cutting ties. Hopefully, it can mean building bridges instead.
Men and women are not supposed to be equal to each other. We are supposed to complement each other like a key to a lock. If both parts of the locking mechanism try to do the same thing, it does not work. Humans are the same. There needs to be a family dynamic where the father and mother work together preferably in matrimony to rear and protect children.
There must be complementary personalities for relationships to work. Can two men do that, or two women? Yes! Can it work? The next generation will be able to tell the world.
- THE FAMILY A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD 1
All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.
- #BlackLivesMatter was founded in 2013 in response to the acquittal of Trayvon Martin’s murderer.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2018 Rodric Anthony