I understand first hand what effects divorce has on kids. You can make it positive or terrible for them.
Effects of Divorce on Children
Divorce with kids can be a difficult time for the children and the parents. At this time, parents need to find ways of relating to each other outside marriage. The parents are also expected to find ways of co-parenting despite their differences. Ending a marriage can affect children differently depending on their age and emotional stability.
This short guide will talk about the different ways a divorce can affect children and it's our hope that you'll be able to take a few items from our list to help you ward off, or fix, the damaging effects your divorce may have had on your kids as well.
What Effects Could I See?
a) Poor performance in school
Children can easily get distracted, which can consequently affect their academic performance. When parents are going through a separation, children tend to get distracted by the events back home, making it difficult for them to focus in school.
b) Mental health problems
Studies show that children from divorced families are more likely to develop depression, anxiety, and even thoughts of self-harm. Older children are much more likely to get affected by their parents ending a marriage compared to younger ones. Boys are also known to harbor suicidal thoughts more than girls after their parents dissolve a marriage.
c) Changes in feeding and sleeping routines
After witnessing parents ending their marriage, children may have problems eating, which may also affect their weight gain. This is especially so for very young children below the age of ten.
The children may also have trouble sleeping and may also report having scary dreams.
d) Kids can take sides
Older children may have a problem determining which side to take. It is often a battle of what's fair without any discrimination and their loyalty to the parents. Such children may also prefer which parent to live with during discussions about child custody and child support.
e) Social withdrawal
A previously bubbly child may start showing signs of withdrawal from social events, shyness, and anxiety. The child withdraws due to feelings of guilt and low self-esteem after the separation ordeal. The child may even wonder why they are the only ones going through a tough time.
f) Rebellious behavior
Out of anger, a child witnessing the parents parting ways may show rebellious behavior. A once calm child may start picking fights in school. In the case of older children, you may witness involvement in crime and drug addiction.
g) Lack of trust in a family unit
Studies have shown that children, who have gone through a divorce, may also divorce when they get married. From an early age, the child lost faith in the family unit and may not work hard to make a marriage work.
Ways to Help Children Cope After a Divorce
Dissolving a marriage can get nasty with kids, even with the most cooperative split-ups. It's important to understand that different children will cope differently, and you need to help them adapt to the changes. Here are some of the tips that can help you.
- Don't fight in front of kids because it may trigger them to pick sides.
- Encourage children to talk out their feelings as it's the best way of healing.
- Seek professional help for you and the children as a coping mechanism. Divorce coaching is the best method to help you go through a cheap divorce because the expert helps you to cope with issues such as co-parenting. Consequently, coaching won't take a toll on your divorce finances, unlike when you go through litigation.
When parents dissolve their marriage, children suffer the most. It's also not practical to stay in a failing marriage for the children's sake as it might affect them more. When you end your marriage, you may witness rebellious behavior in kids, mental health issues, poor academic performance. A child may also pick sides, and they may also show withdrawal behavior.
The saddest thing on earth to hear is one of your kids say, after they know you're getting divorced from their other parent, is that "it's all my fault". I hope you never have to hear those words because they are damaging to you as a parent as well as the effects the entire divorce has on your kids.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2021 Terry Sacia