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The Life Lesson My Kid Doesn't Know He Taught Me


It’s BEDTIME NOW! No more talking! You need your sleep!

For some reason, I have yet to understand how my children always say something or ask the questions that you know will take the longest time to explain right at bedtime.

Is it a stalling tactic? Or maybe just coincidence. . . I think not!


Out of the blue, no conversation leading up to it, my son says.....

"Mom, I wish I wasn't born."


I’m pretty sure I was dizzy from the double take. I couldn’t believe what I just heard. He’s a six-year-old boy who usually doesn’t have a care in the world. He’s fun, happy, and extremely lovable.

Trying to contain my micromomentary facial expression (aka: “what the heck kid!”- mom face). I calmly asked why he would say that. His answer was one that I didn’t expect.

“I don’t want to die someday, so I wish I wasn’t born. Then I won’t have to die.”

My momma-bear heart instantly broke.


That’s right when his older sister quickly jumped in and said,

“Well, you wouldn’t want that buddy because if you weren’t born then you wouldn’t have me as your sister, and I’m a good sister! “

(She’s humble, I know. . .)

His entire demeanor instantaneously changed. He perked right up and said,

“Oh, ya you’re right! Good thing I was born then. I love my sisters!”

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Then he pulled his blanket on and snuggled up to go to sleep.


Wow, did that just happen? Where’s my “how to” book on this?

That's when it hit me!


Even from a young age, we all experience a fear of death at some point. Yet, instead of letting our fear consume us, we need to remind ourselves that death is inevitable and worrying about it won’t change that fact. It's important to focus on the positive and wonderful aspects of life and LIVE OUR LIFE!

Lesson learned: Think positive!

Sounds easy enough. . . right? Nope, not always.

Would it then be easier to be naive about the negative aspects in life so we don’t think about them?

No, that’s not the answer either.

I suggest instead that we educate ourselves and recognize that there are times in our life when we experience fears, doubts and negative thoughts. However, we don’t need to stop and unpack there. We are not perfect and it is OK to seek help and lean on others for guidance. Some of us (i.e. ME) need constant reminders that life is good. Luckily for me, my children serve as my daily reminders.

I’m grateful my son overcame his fear tonight by refocusing on how great his life really is. I hope everyone can try to do the same.

Now, can we go back to the silly questions at bed? Like, "Mom, how did Dad get three babies in your belly at the same time?" Hmm....OK, maybe not that one!



This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2017 Candace Stanger


Deborah Finn-Nokes on October 02, 2017:

So great that you take the time to pause, reflect, and post the everyday events that make for a magical life.

Jackie Lynne on September 30, 2017:

Excellent perspective on life... Thank you for sharing your insight, your experience and your talents!

Candace Stanger (author) from Oregon on September 30, 2017:

Thank you. I really appreciate the comments.

Blair Adams on September 30, 2017:

That, my awesome grandaughter, is one fine piece of writing. Keep it alive.

Carissa Kumiko Sterling from Austin on September 30, 2017:

Definitely an eye opening moment for parents! Amazing article!

Laura on September 30, 2017:

Amazing truth! Lobe your stuff!

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