Everlyne is a customer service person by practice with a Bsc. of Science. She is, however, a copy editor by profession.
Marriage can be sweet and can also be sour. Whichever route you choose in it determines the outcome. For a marriage to survive or thrive, there are several factors the couple needs to consider to build it. The couple should also fully submit, its either one is in or out. Words such as I’m not sure or what-ifs should not be part of the communication. The couple must be prepared to fully and willingly commit to one another. Below are a few tips on how to make the marriage work;
1. Talk about debts
Openly talk about the debts either of you owes, plus the exact amount, and what that means to the family. Be willing to accept that arrears will be part of you and find a solution on how the family will have to adjust due to those debts
Finance is one of the main issues in relationships and marriages, and when not carefully discussed, causes chaos and, worse, divorce. Talk about finances and how you intend to split your bills. Is there going to be bill splitting according to gender roles? Agree on how much will be needed if either of the couples is to take care of their parents in old age. Discuss savings as part of finances. How much have both parties earned and how many investments, and what the future hold in terms of investment? This topic should be vital when it comes to marriage discussions.
Trust is one of the pillars of any marriage and relationship. Trust is always earned and can easily get broken. One of the mistakes that break trust in marriage is lies. Lying to your partner slowly interrupts the conviction they have in you and might cause the marriage to dwindle into oblivion with time. A couple should have trust in each other ranging from communication, finances, and even love. Trust will either make your home or break it. Level of education, ethnicity, family, tribal background, and job levels do not matter in the long run, but trust. Deliberate on it with the openness and enthusiasm it deserves.
Intimacy is one of the significant factors that should be discussed and well understood in marriage. Intimacy can break or build a marriage. How frequent should a couple be intimate, how should it be done, and such questions? Openly discuss the issue and understand each other. After intimacy, your partner should feel satisfied and content; this will reduce the level of cheating associated with lack of intimacy or its satisfaction.
5. Social media
Social media has become one of the key reasons people break up in relationships and marriages they have heavily invested in. one partner might prefer privacy while the other is the opposite. Be willing to discuss and be on the same page when it comes to social people. Spending too much time on social media can also be the cause of problems in relationships and marriages. Discuss how much time partners have to devote to social media platforms to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings between them.
Religion is one sensitive area not only in marriages but also to every individual out there. Be willing to be open and share the level of your religious beliefs. What does your partner believe in or your faith, and to what extent do they go? Do you go to the same church, or you head in different directions come worshipping day? If so, are both of you okay with how you chose your ways, and none of you feels left out? Discuss and come up with a solution that best suits each partner.
Love will keep your marriage together, but it should have an active commitment. Despite the downfalls a couple will encounter in marriage, love will always keep it going. A couple needs to settle on love and trust other than anything. Where there is a lack of love, marriage is doomed to collapse any minute a partner accomplishes their desired achievements in that union. It is, therefore, vital for love to exist in any marriage or relationship commitments.
As a couple, discuss gender boundaries. What is okay and what is not. Things like hugs and handshakes should be dealt with. For instance, one of the partners might not be ok with their partners hugging their friends of the opposite gender. Better discuss and know what one expects from the other in terms of boundaries.
Things might not always work out the way we expect them to, but there’s no harm in practicing some of the above that landfills to save a marriage or two.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Eve Nandwa