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Plea to Parents with Daughters

Theophanes is a New-England-based blogger, traveler, writer, photographer, sculptor, and lover of cats.


Dear Parents,

I keep finding your daughters out on the town, dressed like wee hookers, batting their eyes at anything with an XY chromosome. I am here to tell you this is NOT normal teenage behavior! Stop blaming your lack of parenting on hormones! I am tired of cringing every time I go to some public place where one of your poor lost daughters is and trying to stay uninvolved as they try to latch themselves on to whatever teenage boy they can in the futile attempt to get genuine affection.

I hear you complain all the time that raising girls in our society is hard, that there's too many pictures of anorexic models in the media to aspire to, that sex is everywhere, that girls just don't know where they belong in our changing society. Some of you may complain popular teen culture like the Twilight series provides the perfect model for an abusive relationship and you know what? You are right about all of these thing but there is a cure! It's called parenting!

Where were you when your little girl was trolluping about the mall buying mini skirts and enough make-up to kill thirty lab animals? Where were you when she put them on?? Where were you when she got the idea that being pretty is where her self worth is? Let me give you some advice, stop ignoring these things and putting it under "teenage rebellion" and stop trying to be their friend by not calling them out on this.

Parenting starts when your baby is born. It's your job to give this growing child everything they need to cope with the big bad world and that includes a healthy self image. High self esteem is not acquired at public school through the use of participation stickers, it's won through genuine confirmation and love.

If you are the parent of a girl please do me a favor. Sit down with her and tell her she's beautiful, and not beautiful in the sense she's pretty but beautiful in the sense that she is a unique person like no one else in the world and that she is an important person who is loved by a lot of people. Tell her she's remarkable, intelligent, loving, caring, kind. Tell her you love her, tell her you respect her feelings and thoughts, tell her you are proud of her, and most of all tell her no matter what you will always love her like the day she was born. If she has this wealth of support of love flowing through her precious little mind she will remember this stronger than she'll remember the airbrushed photos on the magazines. Tell her that no boy or man who shows disrespect or abuse will EVER be good enough for her. Tell her she does not have to put up with bullshit. Tell her to aim for the stars because you know she can achieve it. Teach her to love herself as much as you love her and she will go through this world with her head held high. It won't matter if she doesn't look 'perfect', she'll know that she's perfect on the inside and that's all that matters.

If this article made a lot of sense to you try reading its follow-up Plea to Parents with Sons or other articles by Theophanes:

Overworked Children and Their Parents

Around the World in Search of Different Forms of "Family"

Do Neglected Children Suffer More Brain Damage than Abuse Victims?

Feral Children - Raised by Animals and Wilderness

Is Marketing to Teens, Children, and Even Babies Ethical?

Not Everyone Wants Kids

A Teenage Hypocrite's Speech on Teen Life

An Open Letter to Asexual Teenagers

A Psychopath in the Family: My Personal Experience

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Theophanes Avery (author) from New England on March 05, 2019:

Thank you Anonymous for your input. Don't let my male penname fool you, I'm actually a woman who took it to avoid being bashed online as a female writer. I am well aware what slut shaming is and how harmful it is. I'm sorry you feel that's what I'm doing but I can assure you I am a feirce supporter of women's rights including the right to do whatever they want with their bodies - and yes, I include young women in this too. I wrote this article many years ago so I'm not sure what you're offended by (as I honestly don't remember what's in here) but I will give it a read over. Thanks for stopping by!

Anonymous on March 04, 2019:

You sound so smart in your articles dealing with genetics and animals, but utterly clueless with people. Try looking up what "slut shaming" is and why you shouldn't do it, for starters.

Theophanes Avery (author) from New England on August 31, 2013:

Thank you for your kind comments Camille. It is indeed becoming a bigger issue, especially with the dumbing down of our culture. I have a link to my article on boys at the end of this one if you want to check it out. I am not sure it came out as good but it's what I think about the issue in any event! Thank you for stopping by to comment!

Camille Harris from SF Bay Area on August 30, 2013:

Brava! And sadly, St. Clair Jack's statement ("a reminder that common sense is now soo very uncommon that it will soon be qualified as a super power!") is all too true. I feel for parents who have to parent against the hypersexual/attention-seeking "role models" of today. I would love to see a plea to parents of boys as well, as they are at least 50% of the problem. Well done!

Theophanes Avery (author) from New England on March 21, 2013:

Yes, I have been asked to do a follow-up article on what boys need to know and have been considering it. It really just comes down to paying attention to your children and instilling good values in them. Soooo many people just think these things come naturally or the church or school will teach this for them when really they should get off their butts and take responsibility for the lives they've brought into this world!

Laura Brown from Barrie, Ontario, Canada on March 17, 2013:

It's not just girls who need to hear and know these things. My nephew is 17 now and treats women well, he also has a sense of himself in the world and values other people. I have always told him these things, made sure he knows how valued he is and given him rules. He didn't always like the rules, he sometimes was angry or upset with me for making and enforcing the rules. But, this past year he told me "love isn't something people just say, it's in what they do". He told me how glad he was that I was there and gave him love.

Just Ask Jess from Phoenix, Arizona on April 25, 2012:

Great hub! I have three daughters and hope they don't end up acting badly like that.

Eduwriter on April 24, 2012:

Awesome hub. How I wish parents would realize this. You aren't there to be a child's friend, you are there to be their parent. With respect, comes a feeling that it like friendship, but it's so much more.

Theophanes Avery (author) from New England on April 24, 2012:

Thank you. :)

Stclairjack from middle of freekin nowhere,... the sticks on April 24, 2012:

as always,... a reminder that common sense is now soo very uncommon that it will soon be qualified as a super power!

well done,... two thumbs way up!

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