Yuliss is a mother of 4 girls ages 9, 7 and 5 year old twins. She has volunteered with children of all ages and abilities
Becoming a Parent
As a new parent, you have read and prepared for your bundle of joy. You have listened to other people’s countless experiences of how it is expected to be. Everything from labor and delivery through the early years. You rejoice with the happiness and excitement of the good stories, and empathize with the unexpected ones – but still you feel distanced. Like your situation will be unique to you and different than all the others in some way. And you are okay with this because you have never experienced it before and have no idea what to really expect.
Our first born daughter needed minor resuscitation at birth. She came out floppy like a rag doll. She was not crying at delivery and she had a very slow heart rate. She started to cry quickly after efforts where initiated. The next 6 months were an adaption to many new situations. We were watching our baby’s development to what we thought was reasonably normal milestones.
Early Dyslexic Language Development
The more we watched and read and heard, the more we started to notice some inconsistencies with language learning. At 12 month old, our daughter could barely say “mama” and “dada”. She was not as verbally expressive as other kids her age. She was very calm and would occasionally "coo" or "babble" quietly, and laugh when appropriate. So when she used “mama” or “dada” she meant it! “Mama” and “dada” where the 2 syllables that gave her connection with our world. She did not engage the way typical toddlers did. She did not point and name single items. She could not say any other simple words like colors or shapes. She never asked for “more” of anything, and when most children where learning language very rapidly, our daughter was slowly focused on 2 duplicated syllables which gave her meaning and a sense of belonging in our world.
Dyslexia During Preschool Development
She enjoyed listening to us read to her, and she enjoyed the discussion of the picture book images. But when you asked her a question about the images and characters she was not able to answer. We would prompt the answer ourselves in hopes that she would learn how to respond on her own someday.
As she became 2 and 3 years old, she did start to get more vocabulary. It was slow-going and very repetitive. One day she learned the word “sister”. She was really impressed with this new word because she had a baby sister at home at that time that our second child was only a few months old. Our older daughter started to repeat the word “sister, sister, sister…” constantly, almost as if it was a tick. I used validation and distraction but still she would repeat “sister, sister, sister” for quite some time, until she was ready to stop.
At this age children like to ask constant questions, including the well-known “why?” to everything. Our child never asked anything. We tried to teach her how to ask questions, and found this really challenging since until this point language learning is all repetition. However, the ability to ask questions shows a more active role in language learning and language reciprocation.
Early Elementary School: Finally Some Answers
As she became school aged she struggled with reading, writing, and math. Teachers said she was falling behind. We were doing lots of things to help her at home. We were encouraging learning, and reading and writing. We were helping her with her school work and discussing her school days at home. So why was she still having difficulties?! She would seem to formally learn something one day and completely forget it the next. She liked school; she enjoyed being social, but teachers reported difficulty focusing and retaining information.
In conversation, she would express unrealistic ideas of events that occurred. Such as "I went to the fair when I was a newborn", but she was really 6 years old at the time and it was a year ago, rather than 6 years previous. Accuracy with dates and numbers, ages and times was hard to grasp. The school urged us to have a psycho-educational assessment done.
The The results of her psycho-educational assessment came back showing dyslexia. But with so many signs of dyslexia mimicking other conditions what narrows it down to dyslexia? Through the journey we have been able to rule out attention deficit disorder (ADD), autism, and any kind of behavior or mood components.
Signs of Dyslexia in Children
Here is a generalized list of signs of dyslexia children. Keep in mind that it is not uncommon to have a one or two of each and not be dyslexic at all. Dyslexics usually display many of these signs in all categories. It is also not meant to give any one or anyone’s child a formal diagnosis. Please see the appropriate healthcare professional for that, as there are many overlapping behaviors with other conditions. It takes a professional and clinical testing to evaluate a proper diagnosis.
Family History and Early Development
•Reports or reading/spelling difficulties across generations in the family
•Normal prenatal and birth history
•Delays/difficulties acquiring speech/language
(International Dyslexia Association (IDA), 2019)
Early Childhood/Primary Grades
•Difficulty with rhyming, blending sounds, learning the alphabet, linking letters with sounds
•Difficulty learning rules for spelling-spell words the way they sound (e.g., lik for like); use the letter name to code a sounds (lafunt for elephant)
•Difficulty remembering “little” words-the, of, said-that cannot be “sounded out”
•Listening comprehension is usually better than reading comprehension-may understand a story when read to him but struggles when reading the story independently(IDA, 2019)
Middle and Secondary School
•Slow, word-by-word readers; great difficulty with words in lists, nonsense words and words not in their listening vocabulary
•Very poor spellers-misspell sounds, leave out sounds, add or leave out letters or whole syllables
•Non-fluent writers-slow, poor quality and quantity of the product
Middle and Secondary School Continued
•When speaking, may have a tendency to mispronounce common words (floormat for format); difficulty using or comprehending more complex grammatical structures
•Listening comprehension is usually superior to performance on timed measures of reading comprehension (may be equivalent when reading comprehension measures are untimed)
•Weak vocabulary knowledge and use
Professional Suggestions to Improve Reading and Writing
Many resources for dyslexic children will push for “intense tutoring”, and they encourage daily practice with a “professional". They recommend specifically, Orton-Gillingham Tutoring methods for dyslexic children to learn reading and writing. Orton-Gillingham sounds good, and I am sure it would work when done as directed, “intensely and daily”. However, we have chosen not to do it for our daughter. Orton-Gillingham tutoring sounds very “intense”, it is expensive, and we do not want the whole focus of her life to be academic. There is plenty of time for that later if she wants.
If you are interested in Orton-Gillingham Tutoring techniques for your child, you can learn more here: Orton-Gillingham Tutoring Information
How Parents Can Help Their Dyslexic Child
First and foremost – be the parent. It can be stressful perhaps, to watch your child struggle at school early on. It can even be frustrating to have your child diagnosed with dyslexia later in life, when as a parent; you may have suspected literacy and other academic challenges from early on.
As much as you want to help - and you will be given tones of professional advice – remember that your child needs you to be their parent first. They need to feel that love and acceptance no matter what they are able to achieve socially or academically. Make sure to talk with your child about the things they enjoyed about school today, instead of only how much they accomplished.
Get Creative and Tactile
Help your child with the academic work by finding creative ways to make it fun. As for dyslexics, we have found they are very tactile. Touching and learning go very well together. For younger learners play-based learning is great with Playdoh, magnetized alphabet letters, or gel boards. Families with young children may already have many of these toys already around the house. Turn basic toys into essential learning tools!
Find Fun Reading Material That is Engaging
For older elementary school learners, try finding material they enjoy reading. We found graphic novels to be the perfect mix of pictures and words that are not overwhelming. Remember, your child probably feels some level of anxiety looking at a full page of paragraphs since phonetics is challenging. Graphic novels are basically comics; they have a light plot, light humor, but still have some dialog relevant to the “conflict” of the development stage of your child. This shared common experience keeps your older child engaged in the story and wanting to read more. You can also use the simplistic themes to engage yourself and your child in more realistic discussions about growing up and expectations, or a time to see where they are at. Taking time to connect through stories is a communication tool that will help you with discussions for years to come.
Use Online Reading Programs with Audio
See if your school can recommend an online academic-based reading program that offers a chance to read as well as have the content available by audio in a “follow along” format. I can recommend Raz Kids but I am not sure if this is suitable for everyone. There is a free trial, but also see what your school can do for you.
This is not a dyslexic tool specifically; it is for any and all children to encourage academic learning of all sorts. The reading component is fantastic. It has audio, visual and record options. Children earn “rewards” as points for accomplishments and build their own avatar for their account. It is a very individualized learning program.
For early learners, Khan Academy is a great free application. The application is also not specifically for dyslexic children but for children of all abilities. This is a reading and learning play-based program that incorporates simple questions and answers, reading, drawing and simple math. This application is great for preschoolers and children heading into kindergarten and Grade 1.
Be Your Child's Parent and Life Educator
We believe in a more balanced approach. Language learning has a valid academic component, sure; but language is also passively learned through enriched play, socializing, eating with family and friends, drawing, dancing and being creative. If we focus too much on academic tutoring of a young child daily, we lose time for these other fun and enjoyable activities during crucial developmental stage of life.
Getting outside, learning about the world, learning about life are just as important as academics. Find the balance that works for you and your family.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2021 Yuliss