Many articles and books provide plenty of good names to give your precious honey-bun-in-the-stove, but very few seem to touch on which are good names to avoid, aside from those with the obvious "duh" factor like Elberta, Henrietta, Fanny, Clarence, and Eugene.
Not that it's all relative to a degree. Take it from someone who took it upon herself to name her little boy Panther and has received feedback anywhere from "Tight name," to "Poor kid," and, my personal favorite, "In my generation, back in the sixties, this was completely normal." (?)
So what is considered someone's paradise might be another's tragedy, etc., and so forth, blahblahblooey..but face it, there are some names that most parents in their right minds would never give their children. As we already know, being a kid these days is already difficult enough without carrying the lifelong burden of an undesirable handle, one that some statistics indicate may determine how long your child may live, how often or how much he or she will live up to said name, will be remembered by it, will succeed in life because of it, and so on...remember that boy you grew up with whose parents for some reason gave him a name like Vivian or Meredith or Beverly Leigh? You could swear you never saw him without a black eye, right? Point taken?
No? (Groan). Okay, be that way. So, let's give the flip side of torturing our little Pooh Bears on the way a fair chance.
After my having listened to the old school hit A Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash, (see video of Johnny performing live below), I've decided to keep an open mind. The point of this lively, light-hearted tune from what I understood of it is that some parents think that in deliberately giving their kids horrible names, they are ultimately doing them a favor. This is why I urge those who have been branded with embarrassing names to listen to this song's lyrics for much needed encouragement.
On the other hand, if you want your new jewel to grow up with the same grit as Mr. Cash's hero, and, possibly, even to adore you all the more, (or to eventually cream you as well, take your pick), the following names are highly recommended. (As a side note, my apologies to those who actually like the following suggestions from my personal list of no-no's, or actually have them as their own given names, as no offense is intended):
Girl Names to Avoid
Free (excuse the connotations, but please, pretty please, don't give your princess this name, it will scar her permanently)
Shermadine (yes, I really did know someone with this name)
Boy Names to Avoid
Having sufficiently depressed you, I'd highly recommend Cool Names For Babies by Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkrantz, (listed below), for much needed relief, a fantastic read that has become my baby-naming Bible. Hope I saved at least a few lives out there, congrats on your new addition, and happy naming.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
Dollface on July 10, 2020:
Contrary I guess to popular belief, I don't feel the father in this song did the right thing....even if he supposedly did mean well. I mean, what type of parent gives their son a female name? The kid will carry on through life with some sort of complex subliminally believing he is weak or effeminate. Any parent who gives their child a name like Fatty or Smelly or Pig or Poopface runs the risk of having the child genuinely believing they are undesirable or noncharismatic and then get potentially treated as such and then ultimately end up accomplishing nothing because they don't believe they deserve any better or are of any worth to society; I think the deadbeat dad in the Johnny Cash song was only making excuses just because he finally caught his well-deserved beatdown.
Roaring Kitten on May 03, 2020:
A lot of these names are so nerdy, and dorky...I chuckled at a few of 'em.
Joanna on August 10, 2019:
Wow, I'm Joanna, and I get told all the time my name is pretty.
Casey Compton on April 06, 2019:
I know someone who named their daughter Chinacat Pussywillow.
Star on December 02, 2018:
But flora is a beautiful name
Father of child on May 25, 2018:
The mother of my child refuses to name it
Free (not really) on January 09, 2018:
I'm pretty sure this girls name is free