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Momhood and ADHD

All About My ADHD

I mostly struggle with task completion, decision making and just being proactive in general. Some days are easier and more productive while others I can barely function.

I experience symptoms that if heavily pronounced and not managed I can slip into depressive episodes lasting up to 3-4 days. For almost a week I would hide away from any social interactions and leave tasks uncompleted and feel defeated in general. Not only was I suffering but so were my children.

Throughout this article, I will go through my personal struggles and solutions that have proven to work for me. Explaining my triggers and breaking down why it happens and how I overcome it. I'm not a medical professional but I live with severe symptoms everyday and it can not only be frustrating but consuming all your energy and time.

My goal is being completely transparent with my readers in attempt to help others who may be struggling too. Not only has dealing with the struggles and obstacles of modern day parenting proven to be overwhelming, but the journey with my mental has been a long one.


My Triggers

  • Confrontations of any nature: When faced with any sort of confrontation my brain almost seems to go into auto-pilot mode. Finding the correct reactions or responses is near impossible and I can easily obsess over the situation for hours. Constantly repeating the verbatims in my head.
  • Over-Stimulation: It's interesting when considering that the typical ADHD brain craves constant stimulation but when provided too much we tend to detach and dis-associate. in my case, I revert to self-isolation to get myself back in order.
  • Lack of Stimulation: This one is self-explanatory. physically I seem to be aware and coherent, but mentally I'm “Jamming out” to Lizzo. Truth Hurts!
  • Processed Sugars : This may seem a little bit of a reach but its actually the most common trigger I experience. Saying no is simply not an option for the ADHD brain. This ultimately created a very unhealthy relationship between food and myself.
  • Alcohol : In general Alcohol should be consumed safely and in moderation. But if you experience severe symptoms like myself, you may want to consider not consuming at all. Major alcohol impairment can aggravate symptoms such as impulsiveness and the ability to focus.
  • Lack of Sleep : In simple terms individuals with ADHD have a hard time surrendering to sleep. I always attempt to get at least 8 to 9 hours to promote overall health in general and prevent mid-day fatigue.
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Solutions That Helped Me

  1. Medications - Some individuals can manage their symptoms without. I've done both. Over 5 years non-medicated and I don't see either situation as a negative or positive. Medication won't make your ADHD just vanish. Finding the right brand and dosage is crucial and can take a lot of time. Medication is a major part of the play when it comes to managing my severe symptoms. Ultimately it depends as there are other options for symptom management.
  2. Low-carb diet- Cutting out processed sugars and carbs helped me kick my sugar addiction. ADHD and food go hand in hand. Specifically food impulsiveness, sugar highs, sugar crashing and mood swings. Having more accountability with my diet created fewer temptations and helped me create positive food habits.
  3. Baby Steps - Setting small goals that are realistic and productive. This has helped me tackle daily routines and keep pace throughout the day. Meeting and completing personal standards helped me become more emotionally available with my family. I was not obsessing over the tasks I failed to complete and proud of what I was able to accomplish.
  4. Caffeine - Recent studies have shown that moderate caffeine consumption affects dopamine levels in the brain. Personally speaking, it aids with my memory and attention span. Caffeine may not be for everyone, however. I always include it in my morning routines.
  5. limiting screen time and socials - I left this one for last because it's the most important to me. It can be challenging for ADHDers to pull away and stop scrolling. So It's Simple - let your phone die! When I stopped concerning myself with my battery percentage, I was able to pull away and stay away. The phone shut down broke the cycle of never ending scrolling. For the couple of minutes it would take to walk over to my charger, plug it in and wait for everything to reload on the screen; I usually didn't have interest anymore in what I was previously doing.

Being A Mother With ADHD

Living with ADHD as an adult mother is almost like being in another dimension in my opinion. We often get labelled as disorganized, lazy and irritable, but in reality, we are intelligent, passionate and amazing thinkers who can multitask like no one's business. We often detach and sever from the present moment in an attempt to cope with what's going on inside our mega-minds. We have been severely misunderstood.

There is no secret formula to being a perfect parent, and there is no quick fix to ADHD. So what steps did I take to make sure I was consistently present in my children's lives on an emotional level.

  • Being completely transparent about my diagnosis with them. Letting them know if I'm frustrated or need to have alone time it's not their fault and it's okay to be struggling.
  • Activities that interest them but also myself. making the time to do fun outings or planning time together - can help keep everyone equally stimulated. This keeps me present in the moment. We make time at least twice a week. I enjoy baking with my daughter and making Tik Toks with my son.
  • Planning and listing everything under the sun. Making things more tangible is my saving grace to prevent myself from getting overwhelmed. Seeing what needs to be done instead of obsessing over hundreds of tasks in my head. There are many applications on your phone in 2022 that are specifically designed for people with ADHD. These applications can help with daily reminders, budgeting and assist with time management.

I'm still struggling and learning, taking things one day at a time. I'm certainly not done with my mental health journey. I hope to not let ADHD control my life. Rather embrace it and be the mother my children need and deserve.

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