Kayla is a wife and a mother of three. She enjoys sarcasm, lacks a certain filter, and has no problem calling things out as she sees them.
The Cause of Mom Brain: Keeping Up With a Mom's Busy Schedule
Mom's are notorious for keeping the schedule of the entire family. We not only need to keep our own stuff together, but we have to keep every one else's stuff in order. Not only do we make sure everyone is bathed, clothed, fed, safe, and where they are supposed to be at all times, but we also have to remember the tedious things, like putting on pants and remembering to shave both legs in the three and a half minutes we get in the shower before the screaming begins.
It's hard to keep everything in order even with the help of calendars, PDAs and other reminders. Even worse, we are expected to do this 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with out screwing it up, misplacing something important, or leaving the house without the cell phone that has all the details of where we are supposed to be and when.
And then, at the end of the day when everyone is getting ready to go to bed, these same people who cannot even attempt to function on their own without the all powerful Mom have the nerve to give us 'that look' because we have to run through 6 names in order to get to the one that we are meaning to yell out at the top of our lungs. And why are we yelling? Oh, that's right, it's because that particular child is currently sitting on the head of their younger sibling to keep them from biting their face for stealing the old stale fruit loop that they found stuffed in the couch cushion. But in all fairness, they "saw it first".
And the worst part of all is the child who 'feels' as if they are getting in the most trouble for the whole situation is going to turn it all back on us because we don't love them enough, after all, it did take us 6 attempts to get their name right in the heat of the moment.
That my friend, is "Mom Brain".
The Cure: Mom Needs a Break
Although us Moms can hide our crazy pretty well, we still need to take time for ourselves. Quite frankly, we do everything. Every now and then it would be nice if we didn't have to do the little things that you are all more than capable of doing yourselves! No, I do not want to wake up at 4:30 to turn on My Little Pony for you, just so you can decide before I have even made it to the kitchen for my morning cup of coffee that you would rather watch Sesame Street, and then the kicker, you get up and change the channel! Now why the hell didn't you just let me stay in bed and just turn on the t.v. yourself? You obviously have no issue working the remote control.
But of course, I am not going to say a word because today is far better than yesterday when you screamed your head off for 30 minutes because it was not the episode of Power Puff Girls that you wanted to watch! So I just sit and stare at the coffee pot brewing realizing that it could be worse.
And I also am thankful for that extra 30 minutes before I have to wake up the rest of your siblings. That 30 minutes that I get mostly to myself is just what I need to get motivated for the day. To get out of my morning brain and into my mom brain.
Mom Brain Hurts
Sometimes people use Mom Brain as an excuse, some as a explanation. But to know what is really going on in Mom's brain is impossible. Sometimes we are just having a long day and trying our best to keep everything straight. Sometimes we are just tired and do not want to deal with anything. And other times, we are so tired or depressed that it is hard to focus on anything but our own failures.
Something as simple as a compliment from our partner or a thank you from our children can be enough to get us going again. But when we are dealing with people who always seem to think that because we can solve all their problems that surely we are able to pull ourselves out of whatever slump we are in, and hopefully in time for dinner.
I typically go along my daily schedule whether or not I am tired, have a migraine or even have the most horrendous cold, flue or allergies. I could quite literally be on my deathbed and I would still be on time setting out the kids clothing, getting them ready for school, cooking dinner or whatever else is expected of me that day. I am Mom, that is my job right? But when I am depressed, lonely, or otherwise breaking apart inside it ruins everything.
When I am feeling like the whole world is crashing in, my clothes don't fit, my kids don't respect me, my husband no longer finds me desirable, and the million other issues that go on inside a woman's mind. When I am feeling like everything is building up and crashing down all at once, that is when my 'Mom Brain' kicks in.
From that moment on, I try my hardest but I cannot keep up. I am mixing up names, overcooking the pasta, putting bleach in the wash with the colors and generally losing track of everything. My head starts to hurt from trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing. My mind runs over all the things that are currently breaking me down but instead of going through my usual problem solving routine I am running through all the ways it could get worse.
I mess up names, I forget to send out the mortgage payment, and yes, occasionally I might go as far as forgetting to buy another box of fruit snacks at the grocery store! No, it is not because I do not love you. It's because I have 'Mom Brain'!
Yes, Moms are their own brand of superhero. But sometimes we are flawed. So the next time your partner, mother or friend blames something on 'Mom Brain'. Don't just chalk it up to being flaky or forgetful. Just acknowledge that she is having a rough day. Think about how you would handle being in her situation with all she has to do on a daily basis. And even more importantly, be understanding, because that is all she really needs in that moment.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2017 Caila Ingram
another mother on June 30, 2017:
preach it sister, you hit the nail on the head.
V Fitzgerald on June 27, 2017:
OMG... Tell it like it is... and for me... how it was! Keep writing!
Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on June 23, 2017:
This is an amusing description of Mom Brain that also has a serious message. I'm sure that many other moms can relate to your experiences!
Larry Rankin from Oklahoma on June 22, 2017: