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Maintain boundaries and discipline in offering financial help


You inevitably give financial aid to your mother, brothers, and sisters when you have money. It was the culture of some communities for a long time in low-income families, and if the father is not here, mostly the son to take over the household's responsibility. This community was in trouble in their country; the people had to flee the country because they could be tortured or killed for no reason. There were significant issues between the two communities, and for that, many innocent people caught in trouble, lots, and many people left the country. If a family has two daughters Carol and Christina, and a son Tim, the parents will borrow some money from somewhere and send their child abroad for two reasons. One for safety reasons and the other to make money as they would have lost everything in the war and support the family. When Tim arrives in a new country, they will have a language problem; they might have to learn the language and find a job. Tim would not have had the previous work experience, might have needed to do some training to get a paid job or to get a lower-paid job to support himself. Tim did not have any help from the government of a particular country.

Financial aid to the mother.

A family member must look after the other family officers and help them to their progress and happiness. When you manage to earn some money, the mother Marga will ask Tim to settle that debt incurred to pay for Tim's travel ticket. Tim inevitably makes her debut, as Marga will have no way of paying it back. A mother has significant responsibilities in supporting the children in every way. A mother is never selfish; understandably, she will seek help from one of her children to sort out other kids' problems. Then she will go back to the child who can find some money to support the other family members for all types of financial help, and in their minds, Tim will appear to be their bank.


Give Financial Aid for big brothers and sisters.

In case the family has two sons, and the youngest son Tony may be more educated than the big brother Joseph may, the family will choose Tony to go abroad. Therefore, as a younger brother, Tony will start giving financial Aid to Joseph and his sister if Tony has one.

It will go on for years and years, but no one will show you any gratitude except, and they will become spenders in their countries by living a lavish lifestyle. When the people see the money coming in like this, they fail to realize its value, as they have not gone to work in their life. The mothers care for their daughters more; because of that, the parents expect Tony to finance the sister Linda's lavish lifestyle. The young man Tony is supposed to offer substantial financial help towards Linda's marriage. Consequently, Joseph gets into some bad habits that could affect him seriously and have some underlying issues like anxiety, depression, or addiction; this happens because they get too much money to the hands of the wrong age. When Joseph realizes his condition, he might blame the brother Tony for giving him the money without disciplining him.

Learn to keep boundaries for anything.

Tony's family put the entire burden on him; he feels reluctant to tell the family about his difficulties finding that sort of money. Moreover, another reason, Tony has seen the challenges that his family was going through during the difficult times, and he does not want to open his mind to them declaring his issues, thinking that they will get hurt. To continue his support for the family regardless of whether he has the money or not, some young men, including Tony, force themselves into awkward situations of dishonesty in making money and getting into bad credit situations. As time goes, get used to the wrong way of making money and finally fall into all sorts of problems in the country where Tony lives. Some people evicted the land and went back home or tried to escape to another country.


Put control of their spending habits.

The way to keep the situation under control, you need to maintain the boundaries for you, and also got to make sure that your family members' spending habits are within a limit. After a deadline, you have to realize that there is no point in feeling sorry for them, and you got to open your mind and kept them informed that you cannot fund their unwanted lavish lifestyle. You will be doing them a favor in the end by helping them to stop this destructive behavior. Advise them that they should save the money for emergencies without considering that they will get the money from whatever happens to you. Teach them the value of the funds; learn to manage money, and the difficulties everybody faces to make that money. You have to realize that helping your family is different from allowing them to take advantage of you.

How you learn to protect yourself

You have improved your family and that you must be feeling that you have left with nothing, and if I marry, how am I going to look after my partner. All these issues will begin to worry you; you will regret it, and you will have left alone without emotional support. Therefore, now it is your turn to make money, keep it for yourself, and eventually find a partner to settle down. Nevertheless, I am sure that you will continue to give your mother financial aid, and at the same, you have to look after your children, and you will belong to the sandwich generation community.

Final words

If seven children in a family; maybe only one child gives everyone around and ends up living a life of sacrifice. My husband's family had eight children, but he was the only one who helped and supported the family. When he became, ill everybody left him except us. That always happens.


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