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Celebrate Mother's Day with an Elderly Mother

Stephanie was blessed to have long relationships with her grandmothers. Now she is able to spend quality time with her aging mother.

Staying Connected With an Elderly Mother

As daughters and sons move into middle age, their parents get even older. Relationships may shift from being the caregiver to the one needing care, over time.

With mothers, in particular, the change can be difficult to witness, As the elderly one in the equation, it is not easy to accept the fact that you may now depend on your own children for everyday tasks, and more. Pride conflicts with frailty. Loss of freedoms including driving or running errands can be difficult to accept. However, caring relatives will do what they can to make their mother continue to feel useful and not overly dependent. Staying connected with an elderly mother as she enters the later stages of her life starts with love and empathy.

As your mom ages, the gifts that she might have enjoyed decades ago are replaced with the joy of spending time with her children and grandchildren. Exchanging stories and passing along memories is a cherished tradition. If she cannot come to you, then bring her to your home. Technology is also available to help stay connected with an elderly mother, via a wide variety of phone and computer applications. If your parent is in an assisted living facility, caregivers are often well-versed in helping their residents with technology so they can FaceTime, Zoom or use other services to connect with loved ones virtually.

Caring for an Elderly Mother

Caring for an Elderly Mother

The Age 80 Milestone for an Elderly Mother

Age affects each of us in a unique manner. My grandfather lived to almost 94 (less than a month away) and was in fantastic shape until the last 6 months of his life. His memory never wavered and he was cognizant of everything around him and exactly what was happening until the last day. Because he was doing so well, he and my grandmother lived in their home until 2 weeks before his death.

Not all people fare as well as my grandfather. He knew he was unique. If your parent reaches age 80, they have exceeded the average life expectancy of approximately 77 years. Medical needs may increase at this time, and decisions have to be made whether or not to try continue living independently, or move into an assisted living facility. Things that were once easy like taking stairs and opening jars may become more difficult. Some seniors decide that it is not safe for them to continue driving. Sadly, some spouses lose their partner at this age, as well, perhaps even dying of a broken heart.

The bottom line is that there are a lot of significant changes or adjustments that may be occurring for your mother around age 80. They can be confusing at best, and even overwhelming.

Some senior citizens become depressed. Others become confused with age or even Alzheimer's Disease. As a daughter or son, you can ease the transition by being a consistent source of support and help.

Gently talking to your mom and listening when she is upset about her situation is a tremendous gift. Be patient with her, just as she was with you when you were growing up.

Celebrating an Elderly Mother's birthday

Celebrating an Elderly Mother's birthday

What Can you Do on Mother's Day for an Elderly Mother?

While it is important to stay connected to an elderly mother throughout the year, remembering her on Mother's Day can be particularly meaningful. Here are some specific ideas to show your love to an older mom on Mother's Day:

  • Taking her for a scenic drive, or a tour of old neighborhoods. My grandmother enjoys viewing blooming tulips this time of year. We also drive around areas in which she raised her children, and then other areas where she grew up. This prompts discussions of what life was like back then.
  • Creating a memorable scrapbook. This was a huge hit last year. We took old photographs of grandma as a young girl, as well as pictures of her as she started her family. We copied them and pulled out old recipes of hers, and put everything together in a beautiful keepsake.
  • Taking her to worship. It may be difficult for her to get to church or temple on a regular basis. Help her into the house of worship and see that she connects with people with whom she is familiar.
  • Asking her to help you out. Your mother wants to feel like she is still needed. Depending on her physical abilities, you can work on planting flowers in outdoor pots, or bake bread together. Tell her that you are making a stew and you need to know which spices to use. Ask her for advice.
  • Following through on your promises. In our busy lives, it is easy to forget that elderly people cannot move around as quickly and do not have the commitments we do. If you tell your mom that you will come by to visit, or will phone - do so! She will be waiting and greatly disappointed if you forget.

There is no need to wait for a special occasion to do these things with your mother! Any time you can show her attention and spend time together is beneficial. Elderly mothers (and fathers) may be afraid of being forgotten, or being a burden. You can show your love through small, thoughtful gestures and by staying in touch, which may help to dispel these fears.

Will You Care for Me?

Special Celebrations for an Elderly Mother

It is not easy helping a parent through old age. But stop for just a moment and think about just how terrifying it must be for your mom. Put aside your frustrations and work on being a gentle constant on which she can rely.

If your elderly mother lives far away from you, try to make arrangements to visit at least once a year. Regular phone calls, and especially handwritten letters (enclose photos!) let her know that she is in your heart, despite the miles separating you.

Encourage your parent to remain active in her community, and if she is having difficulty getting around (and is not living in an assisted facility), then see if there are Dial-a-Ride services that can be used. Perhaps a trusted, younger neighbor can check in on a regular basis, as well.

The golden years should not be tarnished as a result of poor care and feelings of helplessness and un-worth. Take your mother by the hand and walk beside her during this period. That is the greatest way to show your love, on Mother's Day, and every other day of the year.

Mother Books

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

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© 2008 Stephanie Marshall


Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on June 25, 2012:

Thank you for such a beautiful comment, Mekenzie! All the best to you, Steph

Susan Ream from Michigan on June 25, 2012:

Steph, this is a beautiful and compassionate hub. It is so important to show respect to our loved ones who have gotten to a place where they need our assistance. They are not children and should not be treated as such. Respect and honor go a long way to helping them during this transition. As you mention, they have given so much to us ... it is now our turn.

Thanks! Great Hub, voted up and beautiful.


Sinea Pies from Northeastern United States on April 09, 2012:

Thanks Steph. We'll be OK and next year it will be easier.

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on April 09, 2012:

I am sorry to hear of your double loss in one month! I am sure that May will be tough this year. Keep those precious memories. Best, Steph

Sinea Pies from Northeastern United States on April 09, 2012:

My mom and my husband's mom both passed away last year. They both were born in 1925 and both were born in May. May used to be a very full month of celebrations with those birthdays and Mother's Day too. There is now a big hole. All I can say is, take your opportunity with your elderly parents now while they are still with you. You'll be glad.

Faith Reaper on April 08, 2012:

Thank you so much. My mother is the sweetest person on this planet to me. Thanks for understanding. In His Love, Faith Reaper

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on April 08, 2012:

Faith, I can tell the strength of your love for your mother. God bless! Steph

Faith Reaper from southern USA on April 08, 2012:

Hi steph, I guess I had taken too long on my previous comment, as it didn't give me a chance to edit it, and make any corrections, which there were some to be made! Love the hub. Faith Reaper

Faith Reaper on April 08, 2012:

Thanks steph for the great tips and the sensitivity expressed in your writing. My mother is 83 and lives in another state, plus she has dementia. The potos and notes tips are really great, as my mother, although her short-term memory is not so good, when she reads a note or see a current picture, it seems to give her some sense of peace. We try to keep such things right next to her bed on her beside table. She lost the use of her legs about a year and a half ago, and so the difficult decision was to place her in assisted living, as she was constantly falling. I am very blessed to have the mother He has given me. She never in her whole life that I can remember, spoke a negative word against anyone. Thank you again for writing this. In His Love, Faith Reaper

jeyaramd from Mississauga, Ontario on December 10, 2011:

It is so true about how elderly parents don't like to be a burden to their children. Any independent individual would not want to bea burden to others. Its not a position we want to be in. So when our parents age and have to rely on us; we should be sensitive to the fact. We should be sure to ensure that we enjoy their company. Its especially difficult for elderly parents who have always been there for us. They have trouble being in the receiving end. Some of them are so accustomed to giving that they have a hard time when their children give. We have to be especially careful to not show our annoyance st times. It may not have to do with the task at hand. It may revolve around, but can be easily misinterpreted. We have to ensure that we ensure that we don't cause them to worry unnecessarily. Thank you foe your hub post. voted up.

Cher on July 28, 2011:

You act like everyone age 80 and over are done with. My mom is87 and still sub teaching the handicap. It's all in your choice. Give in to age and thats it or keep strong and keep marching on my family comes from strong genes may have something to do with my moms ability too be so sharp at mind. Old age. Not number for the mother always told me to never treat her like an old lady baby. Her mind is still as good as a 25 year old. And don't hold her and like a child that offends her and makes her feel like she is a helpless kitten. Far from it. You go mom. Can't wait until I am 87 well show them all

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on January 23, 2011:

Thanks so much! The video was a favorite of mine, too!

suzetteboston on January 23, 2011:

great job, super video.

quuenieproac from Malaysia on December 16, 2010:

Love your video! The words are so moving!

Beautiful hub, awesome, thanks.

sambaran08 from India on October 27, 2010:

Very nice hub steph.keep writing,visit my hubs and follow me

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on September 18, 2010:

Thanks A.J. - a mother-child relationship transitions with age. Off to check out your hub - cheers, Steph

fundamentallife on September 18, 2010:

Great article Steph, I happened upon it as a related Hub to one of my own.

'Up and beautiful'!


Pollyannalana from US on August 02, 2010:

Here you go> financial benefits you don't know about

Pollyannalana from US on August 02, 2010:

I read a hub here where people can get extra help, money due them, I will come back and post the link if I find it today. My mom got a blood clot on her brain from blood thinner 3 yrs ago and went from hospitals to nursing homes and they did literally kill her, she died June 16 past. If I had had this extra money for her I could have kept her with me and had money to help me do what I couldn't alone. Anyone that has found a wonderful nursing home has found a miracle or is truly blind. Assisted living would be better I have found out from people delivering med equipment and people who go in and see what we don't. Mom was in her eighties so people say well that was a good long life, no it was torture the last three years(my sister and I both believe she was either molested or raped also) and they changed her medicine her real doctor put her on to save money and it sent her white blood cells through the roof as best I can remember a male nurse telling me which caused her to have a horrible last few days and two heart attacks right together, killing her after only a few years back her cardiologist said she had the heart of a young girl. Mom was someone I loved more than anyone-ever. If she could have lived to 100 I would have wanted that and had her with me every day.

Caring for Aging Parents on April 06, 2010:

Excellent hub... full of great suggestions. I agree... "The golden years should not be tarnished as a result of poor care and feelings of helplessness and un-worth. Take your mother by the hand and walk beside her during this period. That is the greatest way to show your love, on Mother's Day, and every other day of the year."

- Kevin

CareGiverPartners from National on February 12, 2010:

Wonderful suggestions. How commendable that you replace excuses with ideas, when considering the care and attention needed for our loved ones. Well done, thank you.

esllr from Charlotte on October 02, 2009:

This is a very touching warm and thoughtful hub. I also lost my mother,but we were blessed to have family that never left her side.

I would like to add that before leaving a loved one please research people that will be dealing directly with them. Find out about the staff and their creditials. is a free search that will give you access to more substantial background checks when needed. Your parents are worth the effort.

Sue Davis on August 11, 2009:

Hi Steph,

I lost my Dad a little over a year ago and I just recently lost my Mom this past July. It is the most painful hurt I have ever had to endure. It is hard to imagine this world without my parents in it. I love them both so much!! Cherish your parents, you only get one set of parents..

OptimistsOnly from Christchruch, New Zealand on May 19, 2009:

Your hub made me think. Thanks for that....My Mom is 65, which some consider young, but her health is failing. It is a challenging time. I want to walk on the beach with her, but she is unable. I want to laugh with her, but she is not happy. What I have learned is that I can dole out all the advice in the world and her ears remain closed. Therefore I practice ACCEPTANCE with my Mom. I love her for who she currently is not who I want her to be.

prasetio30 from malang-indonesia on May 16, 2009:

I have Mom;s who getting elderly. but not to older. My mother is 56 years old now. I think we have to taking care her wisely. My heaven is under my mother's leg. So I have more respect and pay more attention to her.

ReuVera from USA on May 04, 2009:

Mother's Day is coming again! We should remember to care about our eldery on every day basis, but holidays are special occasion to demonstrate to them our love. I got the link to your hub on my page when I published my son's essay about his grandma. My mom is 80 and she lives with me. She will live with me, in my house, as she never gave me to someone else's care more that it was really needed (like say, kindergarten). I'll care about her myself as long as it is possible, as no other place will be better than home.

Thank you for your hub.

Melody Lagrimas from Philippines on May 01, 2009:

My mom is turning 65 come June, and I do hope she lives longer. Although she lives away from me (my parents live in the province), we always communicate through text. Thanks a lot.

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on April 28, 2009:

Hi miracles02, I'm sorry to hear of your loss! Excellent advice for relatives to consider and - of course - to act on. Best, Steph

miracles02 from Canton, IL on April 28, 2009:

I lost my Mom on July 6, 2008...not yet a year ago. She had Alzheimers and lived with us the last 3 1/2 years of her life...I'll always treasure the memories. Appreciate, Communicate, Validate...while they are still here!!

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on April 22, 2009:

Thank you G-Ma and all the best to your mom, too. All they really want is what they gave us growing up..... LOVE!

Merle Ann Johnson from NW in the land of the Free on April 22, 2009:

wonderfully said my dear...

The Parents Wish is to touching to my 89 yr. old sweet mom is there once a child for me to care about...She is in an Alzheimer Home ( 32 residents only) and is very much in need of all the Love and care we can find...things have switched and that is fine with me...

God Bless every MOM there is in this world and Thanks for the beautiful tribute to them all...G-Ma :O) Hugs

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on March 30, 2009:

Hi Howieta, I can understand how tough that must have been. My grandmother is tough to deal with (though I love her so much), and I can see my mom struggling. I am so sorry about your pain and am sending healing thoughts your way.


howieta from Phoenix, AZ on March 30, 2009:

Great hub Steph. I wish I had been given the priviledge to show my mom patience, love, and empathy in her last months. Instead she died like a dog all alone alone in a cold hospital. May be your advice will encourage someone to do what I did not!

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on February 23, 2009:

Hi Mulberry1, Patience is indeed key, but these deserving women have earned it, as you point out! Your mother is lucky to have such a devoted child. All the best, Steph

Christine Mulberry on February 21, 2009:

Wonderful advice here. My mother is 81 and lives on her own, an hour away. It's such a struggle sometimes but it's definitely a labor of love. Your're so right about the need to be patient and the need to maintain the contact. They gave everything they had, why would we forget them now?

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on November 07, 2008:

Hi Hubby7, thank you. It is so tough to watch our loved ones age. I am sorry to hear that your mother may be nearing the end. I wish you lovely hours with her and fond memories. Steph

hubby7 from Chicago on November 07, 2008:

A very moving and touching piece. I wish I had read your post many years ago as my parents began to age. My dad passed several over 10 years ago. My mom, I believe, is on her last leg. I myself am part of that sandwiched generation that is taking care of their elderly parents and raising kids at the same time. Thank you so much for that eye-wetting post!


Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on November 07, 2008:

Hi Glory, thank you! Mothers create very nice memories, don't they? We should all enjoy time spent with our mothers while we can!

GLORY on November 06, 2008:

Your ideas are very tender and shows your love .My mother is no more but she is in my memories for ever.Her fond memories and sweet nature will be with me for ever.Our parents are our most precious gift from life.

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on July 18, 2008:

franciaonline - thank you for your warm comment. I also hope that many families will read this article and be inspired with respect to caregiving for elderly parents. I will check out your profile right now. Welcome! Steph

franciaonline from Philippines on July 18, 2008:

Hi stephhicks68,

Your love for your parents shows in your hub. I salute you. Hugs.

I hope many sons and daughters will have the chance to read this article. It's a refresher material on how to love aging parents.

I wish you accept my invitation to join my fan club. The way you treat your aging parents inspires me. I feel the same for my aging parents.


Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on July 01, 2008:

Hi my-hair-tools, that is kind of you to take your grandmother in. With my grandmother, my mom tries to have her do small things like plant pots with flowers, stir up recipes (after the ingredients are in the bowl), sit and fold towels, or put photos into albums. My grandma likes to feel useful. It can be difficult though. I appreciate the comment. Steph

my-hair-tools from Ohio on July 01, 2008:

ive been trying to do this for my grandmother, she lives at home with us but can get bored quite frequently, but we keep trying to keep her involved and busy. very insightfull thank you!

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on June 10, 2008:

Debby, my own mother could have written what you said! Although she is not the caregiver 100% of the time for my grandmother, it is so difficult for her when she does have grandma. And grandma knows she is a burden (which is why she says she wants to die sometimes). Bless you for your dedication and devotion. Your father is fortunate to have someone as patient and loving as you.

debby28 from WASHINGTON on June 10, 2008:

This is great I take care of my father who is now 81 years old since my mom passed away 13 years ago, and every day it gets harder for me and him. He feels like he is a burden to me and sometimes I have a hard time dealing with him, But he is my father and unless he gets so bad I can not take care of him, I will keep him forever.

In The Doghouse from California on June 10, 2008:


It works wonderfully!!!!

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on June 10, 2008:

You know, it is not a bad idea at all! My parents are still young (they had me very young), but we actually have a vacant lot next door to us! My husband might kill me if he read this - LOL - but hey. In another 10 years, my parents may start to need some help. And I live 6 hours away from them now. Lord knows I could use an extra hand or two with 4 kids. And in 10 years, my twins will only be 15!! :-)

In The Doghouse from California on June 10, 2008:


Thanks... it was planned that is for sure. My girlfriend who was older than I did the same thing and it worked out beautifully... so when we were having our home built several years ago, we thought why not just do the same for my parents in the lot next door. They were happy to move to where ever we went, being retired they had no ties, and they certainly wouldn't have missed out on the grand-kids! lol It just worked out if you have parents who will not allow privacy, then you might have a problem... but mine are incredible.. And it is great to have my Dad next door in case of technical a broken water pipe etc. when my hubby is at work.... It is awesome!

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on June 10, 2008:

In the Doghouse, I am a firm believer in that approach too! I was so lucky to have 4 grandparents living until just last year! As a child, I saw all of them on a regular basis, including my aunts and uncles, cousins and the like. I am very close to my grandmothers, my grandfather who is still living, and the rest of my extended family.

You planned wisely, and I can see how this will be a great benefit both to you, your mother and your father as they age. Right now, my mom is having a tough time picking up my grandma from the assisted living facility and bringing her up to stay for a week at a time each month. It is hard on both of them, but my grandma is depressed being there by herself without grandpa. But really, my mom cannot take care of my grandma by herself (my dad is around, but he still works and doesn't help all that much!). Grandma is unsteady, slow, and - to be honest - a bit crabby. So.. not to write a novel here, but your forward thinking seems to be great planning on all levels! Steph

In The Doghouse from California on June 10, 2008:


I can totally relate to this. I am so fortunate to have my parents live next door to me... yes that was totally planned, so that in their older age I could take care of them without them living with me. Thus, their independence would be given and my privacy would be met. We actually have a gate between the two properties in the back yard that we can use to go back and forth. I so see them getting older, almost by the day. As a mother I have always been so grateful that my children's grandparents could be so close... I am a firm believer that it certainly does "take a village" to raise a child today.

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on June 10, 2008:

Now you have me welling up, Marisue! It is so true. Our elderly relatives care for us, and they have lived through more than us (no matter how old we are). When my grandpa was dying, he tried to remind me about how to deal with my mom (his daughter). He was there for me as a teenager, as an engaged young woman and as a young mother too. I dearly miss him, and I can tell from your post how much you miss your cherished relatives too. But, I have a strong sense from all that I have read from your hubs and comments, etc. that you will comfort your children and relatives now and in the future, just as you were comforted - or more!

marisuewrites from USA on June 10, 2008:

you know, another thought that just brings tears to my eyes, I could tell a problem to an older aunt or uncle and they could always minimize it with their nods and wise comments. I always knew things would be ok because they had lived through something similar or worse. I do miss that comfort and hope to be able to pass those feelings on to my kids if they'll be quiet long enuff to listen!

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on June 10, 2008:

Awwwww - thank you!!! Marisue, you are so right about respecting our elders! Weren't we taught that as children? How do we forget that as we age? Hmmm.... CW, you are correct that other cultures do a better job!

Marisue, what a wonderful treasure you are giving your step-mother, as well as yourself, by spending quality time with her while she is spry and able to remember and enjoy that together-time! You are so fortunate. And thank you for the wonderful image of the generational stories being passed down. I miss my grandfather dearly! He always had so much advice and wonderful stories to tell. Treasure those moments while you have them, as you note.

Thank you both for the wonderful thoughts!

Constant Walker from Springfield, Oregon on June 10, 2008:

Steph, I think you should keep it. It's purdy!

Hi M. You're right about Asians, and the same is true right here, of Native Americans. The Elders are the wise, the treasured, the ones with the funniest (and sometimes the nastiest!) stories... we even have a few Elders right here on HubPages!

marisuewrites from USA on June 10, 2008:

aw Steph, what a great hub, In many Asian countries, the aged get respect are considered wise counselors for their families. and we are improving here in America, but not as much as we could.

I have the greatest memories of listening to my dad tell stories of his life, and I loved all the older aunts and hear them talk of yester-years was so entertaining I often laughed til I cried. O to have them back, helping me thru my life, now.

My step-mother is 84 a young 84, very sharp and active. I am in more contact with her than her own daughter and always have been. Thanks for bringing this very important generation to the forefront of our minds and hearts!!

I love the experienced!!

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on June 10, 2008:

Hi Constant Walker, I really appreciate the comments! I am watching my mother with her mother right now. My grandmother turns 90 next Wednesday and just lost her husband of over 65 years last fall. It is very difficult to watch. Elderly mothers need extra help, patience and love. It is a delicate balance. You did the right thing in being sensitive to doing what your mother wanted, rather than what you wanted your mom to have for Mother's Day. Time together is so important! I am smiling extra big thinking about the joy you brought to your mom on the special day!

Each week, I pick up the phone and call my grandmother. It is not always easy, although I love her dearly. She often speaks of wanting to die. That makes me so sad. But, then my mom tells me that for the next several days, that is all she talks about is my phone call to her. Patience, Compassion, Understanding, Love. Thank you for reminding me and others of these great gifts we can give on a daily basis to our moms (or any other loved one!)

(thanks about the profile pic - I'm not sure I'm going to keep it. Its one from a fancy night out with my husband and I usually don't get that dressed up with make-up, etc. - to me, its not me.... I may soon replace it. :-)

Constant Walker from Springfield, Oregon on June 10, 2008:

Great hub, Steph.  My mom turned 69 in May, same month as Mother's Day.  I had a lot of special things and gifts planned, as I always do, but she didn't want all that.  Just a day together.  Watch some movies, play some games, etc.  So we did.  For mother's Day she wanted one of those toiletries baskets with all the matching soaps and oils and stuff (she LOVES those things!), instead of the fancier gift I asked her about. So that's what I did.  The better gift isn't always the more expensive one.  It's the one that makes the intended SMILE.

And the greatest gifts are free: Patience, Compassion, Understanding, Love.

PS: I really like the new pic!

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on May 04, 2008:

Hi Rhonda, Your video was just heartwarming and touching! I loved it so much! My grandfather passed away last fall at nearly 94 years old, and my grandmother at almost 90 is not doing well. You are doing a very special thing! I am honored to have your video be part of this page. Thank you! Steph

Rhonda Severn on May 04, 2008:

Hello Steph,

I had to take a peek and see how my video, "A Parents Wish" was being used. What a beautiful site you have created. Thank you for including my video.

I lost my mother in 1994 and the residents I care for fill such a big hole in my heart. I look at the people that I care for and alot of them are the ages my mother would have been. They are all very special to me.

Thank you again for sharing my video on such a beautiful site.

Rhonda Severn

Angela Harris from Around the USA on May 04, 2008:

What a great Mother's Day tribute!

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on April 30, 2008:

Karen, I can believe that it must have been so difficult to work at a facility such as that. It would break my heart on a daily basis! Hi Patty - I am sure that you are honoring your mom's memories! I will take a look at your hub too. Steph

trish1048 on April 30, 2008:

Hi Steph,

With Mother's Day approaching, I can see how our loved ones who've passed are never forgotten. There is truth in saying that nobody dies when they live within your heart forever. I too lost my mom back in 87, and find myself remembering so many things, so many memories that live within me still. I only hope I am and was as good a mom as she was to me.

Take a moment to read the hub I just published about my mom :)

Thanks for writing and sharing such great ideas!


Karen Ellis from Central Oregon on April 28, 2008:

I am also motherless, but she came to visit after she passed away, but that's another story.

I really like the section "what can you do on Mothers Day." I worked for a short time at a retirement facility. There were so many residents that just got parked there and no one ever came back to visit - very sad.

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on April 26, 2008:

Oh Ruthie, I can tell how much you loved and honored your mother! I am scared myself for aging and watching my mother get even older. Big hugs to you!

Desert Blondie, thank you so much for such a wonderful, loving comment. My best friend never knew her grandparents, while I had all 4 of mine until I was almost 39 years old.... It is a true gift!! Happy Mother's Day to everyone!

desert blondie from Palm trees, swimming pools, lots of sand, lots of sunscreen on April 26, 2008:

Both my parents died young, as did all my grandparents. I look around the elderly women in grocery store lines and wonder what the women in my life would even look like if they'd grown old! Please, Please, Please, remembering all those who don't have mothers to honor, and whose children are spread completely across the USA unable to be with their moms. Remember, many moms are spending their mother's days alone....HONOR, LOVE, ATTEND, CHERISH your mother's this coming May 11. And equally, all you moms out there, adore the effort that your children make for you on this day!

RUTHIE17 on April 26, 2008:

Steph--very nice Hub.  I have tears rolling down my cheeks as I write this comment because it reminded me of all the special memories of my own mother and brought back how much I still miss her even after all this time.  She passed in 1992 from colon cancer but I know she is still with me everyday.

Somehow, I have begun stepping over the "caring" line every once in a while with my own daughter as I get older.  It does feel strange to have her "do" for me sometimes because it's always been my role to care for her but I know that at some point the roles will shift.  I just want to be here with her for many more years to come and watch her keep growing into the amazing woman she's become.

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on April 26, 2008:

Thank you everybody for the wonderful comments! I write this primarily from the perspective of watching my mom with her mother (especially after my grandfather passed away last year). Marisue, yes, I believe that moms need tenderness, particularly as they age. Lifebydesign and patkagmak, I completely agree. I rely on my mom constantly - even though we live 6 hours apart. Zsuzsy, I am so sorry about your loss. I cannot imagine the hole that must be left when a mother passes. Amy - a cherry blossom drive sounds lovely!

amy jane from Connecticut on April 26, 2008:

This is beautiful, Steph. I love your ideas. My grandmother's favorite thing was a scenic drive and on Mother's Day we would drive her past her favorite spot see the cherry blossoms in bloom. Zsusy is right - a mother's love is so unique, treasure her!

Zsuzsy Bee from Ontario/Canada on April 25, 2008:

If you are lucky enough to still have your Mom love her, love her, love her...remember that the only forever unconditional love will come from your Mom.

Steph very nice hub I've lost my Mom in '92 and still miss her.

regards Zsuzsy

Lifebydesign from Australia on April 25, 2008:

very timely and great hub Steph! Especially love the thoughtful scrapbooking and take her to worship ideas - we so often forget what says 'i love you' to other people.

marisuewrites from USA on April 25, 2008:

very good advice, steph, I love the tenderness that is evident in the ways to help our mothers; thank you!!! Marisue

Stephanie Marshall (author) from Bend, Oregon on April 25, 2008:

I will do so, Daniel! Thank you for the heartwarming comment.

danielpyle from USA on April 25, 2008:

Thanks Steph,

For everyone whose mother is still living please pass along a kiss and hug from me. I miss mine and pray that you will all enjoy the one and only mother you are ever going to have.

Your Friend,

Daniel Pyle

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